Apologies

I suspect LLL that you've never been in the position that a lot of GNetters are in, whereby they have been cut off from their AC and have no idea what they've done to deserve it. They can't apologise for specific wrongdoing because, in many cases, they've never been told what their misdemeanor was. If I was in their position, and thankfully I'm not, I'd be asking what your credentials were that enabled you to lecture them with a 21 point list of what not to say when they're sorry. And I'm afraid that your last, rather rambling post, reads rather as cod psychology. Sorry. choose an appropriate one from your list

Chewbacca

Your response shows that you:

1. Didn't read my original post OR
2. Read it and didn't understand it

In the event that you did, you'd not have responded by stating: "They can't apologise for specific wrongdoing because, in many cases, they've never been told what their misdemeanor was." How does this correlate to the ORIGINAL post?

LLL I read your original post i.e. the long list of non acceptable apologies and, quite frankly, I shook my head in despair. Your subsequent posts have been so loquacious and full of arm chair psychology that I've found them hard to take seriously. Perhaps I would be able to give them more merit if I knew what your accreditation was to be giving so much unsolicited advice.

LLL I'm afraid your posts come across as lecturing, unsympathetic and "I know best". As others have asked can you tell us what, if any, qualifications you have which makes you an expert on relationships.

Your comments may have caused additional hurt and distress to some GNs. Do you really think those who are in the unfortunate situation of being estranged from family members haven't tried everything you suggest and more? As you consider apologies to be so important, how about offering an apology to them.

Oldwoman70 that may take some time as LLL will need to make sure it is the right sort of apology

And even then we might not accept it. She might use apology number 3.

And we're still no wiser as to what credentials or qualifications LLL possesses that enable her/him to offer so much in-depth and unsolicited advice. drums fingers and waits some more

How do people have the time to think, let alone write such rubbish.
Too much overthinking there.

aka drivel?

ps Apology No. 10

I think he/she will go for apology No. 18

LLL Thank you for replying to my questions - I am unsure why it has taken so long!
LLLQuote "In response to your question: “1. why saying "I think I hurt you" is on your list as inappropriate.” - and taking the above statement into consideration, would mean that one has been informed in detail on their actions that were deemed harmful. After being told what you did, an apology in the form of "I think I hurt you,” shows a lack of ownership. This again would be different if one had not been informed of their wrong doing (which was not the case in my original post)."

I don't think your original post made clear that you were only talking about apologies that are inappropriate if one had been told what one had done wrong! (although I acknowledge that you did refer to that scenario within your OP.

LLL Quote^" Again I’ll reference my original post: “An apology is an acknowledgment of one’s fault. An admission of discourtesy; followed by an expression of regret or remorse. An apology acknowledges the harm your actions caused. Irrespective of whether or not you think they were harmful. An apology is sincere. “^

In your OP you gave specific examples of words used in a list of "Inappropriate apologies". I am asking if you can give examples of words to use in "Appropriate apologies"! Your reply referencing your original post, does not do that!

LLL Quote " “What about parents CO because an AC's partner is controlling them ....does that make the parent in the wrong for wanting to maintain a relationship?”..... Is this an assumption based analysis? Has the parent "maybe" considered the fact that maybe their own AC may share the same NC views as their spouse, but chooses not to confront them about it? Did the parent ever offend their AC spouse and as a result both spouse and AC immediately went NC?

You appear to be ignoring the possibility that in SOME cases an AC may be being emotionally abused by their partner (a recognised syndrome!!). Mine was not an "assumption based analysis" any more than you would say yours are "assumption based analysis"!! My point was that in some cases, it may well be that the parent is reasonable in trying to maintain a relationship/be available to an AC if they ever manage to get themselves out of that emotionally abusing relationship!
You are answering my valid questions with questions linked to an alternative scenario which I agree could be a possibility. But it is not answering the question I asked! Do you acknowledge that the scenario I described could be a possibility and in that scenario a parent may be reasonable in wishing to try and maintain a relationship?

And apology number 20 would be fairly appropriate too!

and still no sign of telling us what qualifies him/her to share the fount of all this advice

Is ‘do no harm’ a Wiccan thing?

That would explain a lot.

I'm getting a bit dizzy, scrolling up and down for the apology no's 10,18,20 etc -take that as a dizzy

I’m sorry I ever started reading this thread, now I can’t stop having a quick peek every now and again.
I’m going back into Pinterest and find some scathing quotes that I can’t use on here.

Lemongrove
Is ‘do no harm’ a Wiccan thing
I’ve stopped reading the lengthy witterings on this thread but noticed your question.
‘Do no harm’ isn’t a Wiccan thing, it’s a medical ethics thing, from the Latin ’primum non nocere’.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primum_non_nocere
Thought you’d like to know that

Me too, Oopsadaisy. can't resist a peek now and then.

Me too Oopsadaisy having a good laugh, first thing in the morning, is a good way to start the day

Snowing hard here

Wouldn’t matter if I was the arch angel Gabriel my DIL wouldn’t like me. Because my son was with me first...
It’s just MIL and DIL...
Every apology u der the sun wouldn’t work she would find a hole in it so I just give up and enjoy my DDS children

The thing I love about gransnet is how polite people are. Someone wrote "loquacious"when I thought "verbal diarrhoea "and then wrote "armchair psychology " whereas I thought"transatlantic psychobabble" and we are still giving op a grandstand. We are the ones cornered at the cocktail party aren't we?

Did you have a spare afternoon to fill?