Gransnet forums


Young grand parents

(73 Posts)
Jenk Wed 05-Dec-18 20:51:03

I am due to become a granny in April next year, and of course I'm utterly delighted.

But..... I'll be 43 when she arrives and feel I'm too young to be a granny! Many of my peers are just starting, or adding to their young families and my youngest child is only 7.

Has anyone else been in this position, and did you find it a blessing (more energy to play with grandkids for example) or difficult (feeling old before your time)?

MissAdventure Wed 05-Dec-18 20:54:19

I was 39 when I became a gran.
I don't remember feeling one way or the other about it really, since I wasn't planning to do much of the childcare side of things.

tanith Wed 05-Dec-18 21:13:41

I was also 39 and had no feelings about it one way or the other. I loved it as they came along all going on trips and holidays together, watching them grow is amazing and seeing them leave school and starting careers, getting married and now I have 3 Grt Grandchildren which is great.

Beau Wed 05-Dec-18 21:44:53

Looking at it from the other side of the coin, I remember that my mum had little interest in my DD as she had 3 year old twins of her own from her second marriage.

paddyann Wed 05-Dec-18 21:50:26

My MIL was 43 when my daughter was born,she thought she was too young to be a granny.Now she's in her mid eighties with a 40 year old GD and 4 GGC and she loves them all dearly.She has friends with wee GC in fact one who has 2 under 3 who is expected to help with childcare.She's very glad now that her GC arrived when she was young enough to enjoy them .Bonus is she is great friends and very very close to her first GD

agnurse Wed 05-Dec-18 22:06:15

I'm a stepmum (not a gran) but my DSD is 20 years younger than me. This means I could potentially become a very young grandmother. Consequently, I'm thinking I may suggest to DSD that her children call me Nana. To me, "Grandma" is someone older.

KatyK Thu 06-Dec-18 09:56:53

I think it's lovely being a younger gran. Wait until that baby arrives! You will love him/her so much and be glad for all the lovely times to come. I thought I was too young at 50, but we have seen her go to university this year and I'm thrilled at that.

glammanana Thu 06-Dec-18 10:15:38

I was 41 when my eldest DGS was born,I have also always been a nana as anything else sounded too old for me at the time his brother arrived 13mths later and he is the father of my 2GGCs so at 68 I have been a nana for quite a few years,and enjoyed every minute I now have 5DGSs 3DGDs and 2GGCs.
Enjoy your new baby you will be besotted with her I'm sure.

Jenk Thu 06-Dec-18 12:19:23

Thank you for the replies.

I'm going to be granny as I was a paid nanny so associate that as a job! My dils mum will be nana

I am very excited and it has helped with feeling of broodiness I've been having (no more babies for me!)

I think, because I'm still 21 in my head, it's just a shock that actually I'm getting old!

silverlining48 Thu 06-Dec-18 14:48:42

Jenk i am 70 but feel about 35 in my head, (shame my knees feeel about 90). My gcs are still very young so will not see them settle down as adults which does make me a bit sad. I wish I had been a younger gran, takes me ages to get up from the floor. They are long gone....Enjoy your time together.

FlexibleFriend Thu 06-Dec-18 15:31:14

Be grateful my mum died aged 48 she never lived to see my children born

luluaugust Thu 06-Dec-18 16:42:23

You will be able to have lots of fun, I was 49 when GC no. 1 arrived I felt far to young but I am so glad now, playing cricket on the beach would be well beyond me now!

Florence64 Thu 06-Dec-18 19:20:42

I was 43 when my grandson was born and my mother died a few weeks later, so I felt my position in the family had shifted two places in the space of a couple of weeks. My grandson is nearly 11 now, but I have loved being a 'young' grandmother and we now have four other grandchildren too. I was in the possibly unique position of being able to give up work when my mother died and spend some time with my daughter and her son, soon to be followed by his sister and have been very involved with them from the beginning. I am very lucky and I'm so glad I could do this.

Granjan06 Thu 06-Dec-18 22:32:03

My grandma was 41 when I was born and exactly 2 weeks later gave birth to my auntie. We lived on next street to my grandparents and I was in the same class as my auntie. I had a wonderful relationship with my grandma, she was full of energy, let us bake, taught me to sew, made us banana butties for our picnic after helping to build a den in the backyard. I adored her and she was amazing when my own children were born, by then in her early 70's, she was heartbroken at the thought of my daughter going to a childminder and insisted on looking after her 3-4 mornings a week. I was 48 when I first became a grandma (now have 7), I've never felt old and I'm sure when your grandchild arrives all the doubts will disappear.... enjoy and have fun.

ebayqueen Thu 06-Dec-18 22:56:18

First time Nan at 48, I am now 70 and have 5 grandkids from 22 down to 11. I've loved every moment of being a Nan,and can't imagine my life without them

BabyLayla Fri 07-Dec-18 10:07:02

Enjoy, hoping you are fit and healthy as there is so much fun to be had as a young grandmother. We taught all ours to swim, sail and ski, such amazing memories

Allgoodnamesaregone Fri 07-Dec-18 10:10:55

I was 31 when my first grandson arrived. I definitely felt too young to be a grandma! But that's what I was called. DD lived with me for the first 10 months & I did a lot of childcare, despite working full time. Even when she moved out I'd pick him up on my way home from work on a Fri & take him home Sun evening. A lot of my friends were having their first at coffee mornings etc I took my DGS. DD had more children, my other DD also had children, I was a very hands on grandma. When I was 39 I remarried and had another child when I was 40. I have 9 DGC now ranging in age from 4 - 18. My DC are 34, 32, 30 & 10. We are a close family, but now the children are all at school I don't see as much of them. I love being a grandma.....although Christmas is expensive!

jennyverard Fri 07-Dec-18 10:12:26

My grandchildren call me Jenma, I was happy with Granny but my eldest daughter didn't like that so joined jenny to Grandma, my husband is my third husband so they call him step-step. The eldest of the 6 of them is 16. The names suit us.

Saggi Fri 07-Dec-18 10:17:05

My MIL gave birth to her third child 25 years after my husband and his sister.My husbands sister had already become a mother MIL’s new arrival was 6 months younger than her nephew!!!! My husband was extraordinarily jealous of his baby sister and FINIALLY left home and found me!!! My youngest suster-in-law is now48 ( hubby is 73 )and I blame her continually for being born and throwing her older brother into my path!! We do have a laugh about it all .

Chinesecrested Fri 07-Dec-18 10:30:28

We're all too young to be a granny! I'm only 67! How dare ds to this to me?!

Kim19 Fri 07-Dec-18 10:33:07

Lucky you. I was the opposite and thought I was too old to be a first time Gran when the announcement was made. Such nonsense. It has worked perfectly so far and given me incentives to do so much in personal improvement. The additional layer of happiness is something I could never have imagined. I rather envy you the prospect of having a very long time with them whereas, by the law of averages, I won't. You'll see.........

gerry86 Fri 07-Dec-18 10:41:16

It was being married to a granddad that worried me.

maryhoffman37 Fri 07-Dec-18 10:46:31

When I was 40, my best childhood friend became a granny at 43 (She had married at 19 and so had her daughter). I was so amazed to think of my scatty friend as a grandma that I wrote a picture book called My Grandma has Black Hair all about how grannies are supposed to be versus how they can be. Not sure if it's still in print, but it might help! (My friend is now a multiple great-grandma, which is something I'll never be as I'm now 73 and the grandchildren range from 0 to 5)

Craicon Fri 07-Dec-18 10:52:38

Hi OP, its not a straightforward situation when you still have normal parenting duties to perform.
I have a 9 yr old DS and a 5yr old DGS. We live overseas so only see DGS occasionally and only for 3-4 days in a visit. It’s not enough to build a relationship, frankly.
The other grandparents live even further away but they do see DGS more often because DIL visits them regularly and stays for at least 2-3 weeks at a time and as they are both retired they can afford the time and money to spend on DGS. I know other granny Skypes the DIL weekly.
My priority is my young DS and I can feel very conflicted about dividing my attention between young DS and DGS when they come here for a visit.

Gaggi3 Fri 07-Dec-18 10:55:24

I was 65 when DGS1 arrived. In some ways it would have been good to be younger and more energetic , but on the other hand I would have still been working and unable to help out when needed. Swings and roundabouts.