Have the first ones told you what was going wrong? Would it help to know what bothered them? Or do you know? WIll they have talked to other future parents ... is there any communication at all? I have no idea what went wrong with the first grandchild experience ... if as you said you felt you had done everything right. Presumably not in their opinion. Would it help to discuss this with a third party so you have some insight? It sound so horrid. Sorry.
Anybody know how long probate is likely to take