Husband not welcome at family events

What a way to behave! At his age he should know better. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness in life - maybe your ex should be the one to miss out if he feels so strongly.

Why do you let anyone tell you what to do
Go if you want
Leave the children to have their tantrums
A bit old for this aren't they
Can not believe you would miss out on family events because of this controlling behaviour

How ruddy childish!

Carolyn1950. I am sorry you are suffering from this. I think I could only suggest that you attend the Baptism alone.

As we do not know all the details it's impossible to know what is best. It does seem a long time to hold a grudge though, but sometimes there can be pain that is not possible to overcome.... Maybe your previous husband's recalcitrance is a clue as to why you are no longer married to him.... Whatever the reason, maybe it's best just to accept the things we cannot change and find a way round it.

Following my husband's death, his brother was so bitter and rude to me that it would not matter how many years passed, I would not ever be able to be in the same room with him again.

Nezumi65. I am sad to hear that your son is disabled, but I think you and your husband are the good example of the best common sense way to deal with things. It was kind of you to write and tell us and demonstrate that people do manage to keep going when life gives them a situation which means finding ways of coping with something more demanding, and just take in their stride what might seem difficult to others.

Sometimes people just ask a question because they want other people to be on their team, but without knowing some of the family history, or at least the point of view of the 'other side' I really don't see how it is possible to make assumptions. Most adult children come to accept both parents in the end and this particular one appears not to have done so for some reason, we know not what.

If it doesn’t upset your husband too much I would go alone to the church to see the baby christened , have a photo with baby and parents, ignore ex and go home.

Why not go alone to such family events? It seems a shame to miss them, and let's face it they are not your DH's relatives.

Why is the X calling all the shots. Iif he is saying if her husband goes he wont, then the son should say -OK stay away. It is the sons right to invite who he wants at his childs christening. Missing two sons weddings because of a miserable old man seems wrong. Of course we dont know all the story.

I’m so sorry for you. Families can be so complicated. If it feels right for you, go alone and then that is one olive branch to them and maybe you can resolve matters, one step at a time.

I find this all rather strange. If i’m Invited to an event I go if I can. If i’m Not invited I don’t go. Why would you current husband want to be forced to be allowed to go? I love this new modern attitude. My dd and her partner have been together for years but even now one of them may be invited to a wedding and not the other. They don’t bat an eyelid. A very old family friend got married and invited me, my older daughter and my grand-daughter to her wedding. I didn’t think that the invitation was odd at all. We went and had a great time. I don’t think other family members felt left out. They did something else. My ex was abusive to me. The only way to stop the abuse was to cut off all contact. This included an injunction. My children respect that. They know that if they invite me their dad can’t go. He can be awkward but I never am. If they invite him I don’t get an invite. I’m happy with that.

would you feel ok with leaving your husband at home ,seeing that he is frail. and the journey might be too much for him .is there anyone who could sit with him for the day?or maybe he could go into respite care for the day?and you go to gs christening...

I do wish people would not jump to conclusions when an OP doesn’t return to a thread! It may be nothing to do with not being bothered! There may be an illness or a death or any number of good reasons why she isn’t online! 2 years ago not long after I posted a question I had to have emergency surgery and was in HDU for several days and “out of it” for many more, I would have been mortified if people had assumed that my lack of response was down to not being bothered!