Looking after grandchildren

I think I could look after 3 children for one week only. If any longer I would be so worn out . It’s hard work especially when your older to care for children especially 3 of them It’s only you to make the decision, you must think very hard about this

You wouldn't get the workplace pension and, if the £700 is monthly rather than weekly as I suspect it may be as you say you'll be earning less and I don't know manynnursery nurses on £700+ per week, you won't be paying NI unless you do it voluntarily so will impact state pension too. Such as it is

We've agreed to look after our grandson when my daughter goes back to work but it's 2 days max, though we can be flexible on which days. I'm sure we'll love it.
However, we both worked for nearly 50 years so we could have some fun ourselves. We've explained that, in effect, we have been looking after others since she and her sister were born 40 years ago and by the time they up and left, we were looking after aged P's, the last of whom sadly died aged 99 only about 6 weeks after daughter announced pregnancy.
We are happy to help but only on our terms.

Hi, if you’re fed up with your current job why not look for something else? The alternative has too many pitfalls to list (in my opinion). Making having your grandchildren into a job may take the joy out of spending time with them and cause problems between you and your daughter.

I would love to do this. I am a nursery manager and the pay is terrible. In fact, I am thinking of registering as a childminder so I can look after my own grandchildren. I have done this in the past, with my children and grandchildren, and easily got another job in a nursery when I wanted to return. As your daughter is going to pay you (mine wouldn't!) I would definitely say Go For It! You will have great fun, and your grandchildren will be so lucky to have you.

Please don't. Family and business never mix as I know to my cost working with a beloved sister. Dynamics with other siblings, our own children, sibling rivalry etc caused so much hurt and unhappiness it nearly broke up our whole family and took years to (almost) get back to where we were, as close as twins. You don't mention other children or your partner. Is your daughter an only child? If problems arise about discipline, inappropriate behaviour in any of her children she will be doubly offended and defensive and you will be walking a tightrope for ever. And how do you 'resign' when things go wrong, human nature being what it is at one time or another one of you will feel aggrieved/let down/ offended/taken for granted.
Find a new job, explain gently you don't want the worry of tax returns etc, assure her you love her and your grands and run like hell inthe oposite direction!

Is that £700 per week/month or year? When I first read it I took it be per week, in which case a lot of money. If it’s per year then of course it’s a pittance. I am retired so not giving up an income but I have my 6 year old 4 days a week plus home schooling her for 9 hrs a day. Plus another grandchild, various days, and I’m exhausted.

Do you want to?

I imagine by asking the question you're not as keen as y ou might be

I'd never do it. Sounds like a lot of hard work. Of course you love your grandchildren but having them for such prolonged periods could be exhausting. To say the least, so it wouldn't be for me.

But what I would do is irrelevant.

I agree with a lot of comments on here. I know it's lovely to be with your grandchildren for so much time but I have done this. Not only is it exhausting but I gave up a job to do this for my son and his wife and for less money. Now I am out on a limb due to this coronavirus. I would say never work for family

I'm with DEEDUM on this.
A big NOooooo! Too many pitfalls. This is nothing to do with adoring your grandchildren. The whole dynamic changes with childcare. Simples!

Don't do it.

I agree with a lot of comments on here. It is lovely to spend this time with your grandchildren but it is extremely hard. I left a job to do this for my son and his wife both of whom have good jobs and was paid less. Now I am out on a limb due to the coronavirus. I would say don't work for family it causes problems

As much as I love mine, I wouldn't. I couldn't. There might come a point where you will feel resentful.

Personally, no I wouldn’t do this. I look after my grandchildren on an ad-hoc basis and can say no if I want. I also had my youngest grandchild one day a week up until COVID and much as I loved it, it was still a tie as I worked part time too. It has the potential to ruin relationships. She’d be paying around £50 per day per child in a nursery and she wants to pay you £700 per month. You’ll never get anything done ! Maybe opt for one or two days per week. Take care x

There may very well come a point where you are resentful OP. I too woukd say no. Keep your relationship as a granny, not as an employee. Children can be awkward as they grow up, especially if you care for them in their home.

Hmm, working for a close family member is fraught with difficulties, even if you believe that your are starting with clear cut rules and there are so many questions that need answering. In your current job, as an employee (I assume) you have certain entitlements, paid holiday, SSP, pension payments etc. If you work only for your daughter, it is debatable if HMRC would accept that you are a self employed person, as you will only work for your daughter. If your daughter becomes your employer, that is far from straightforward too.
Either way, I would be reluctant to take on such a role, partly because the terms offered are not good and partly because I suspect that it will become impossible not to blur the lines between business arrangement and family ties.

So, in normal times, I, their other granny, and my ex and his partner look after my 2 grandchildren 1 day a week each. (If one of us can't do our normal day then we can usually swap!). The other 2 days the children go to nursery. We all get quality time with our grandchildren and we all still have our own lives for 4 days a week. Sometimes the other granny and I pair up and take the kids on an outing - its brilliant! They only have to pay for 2 days of nursery, the grandparents do their 1 day for love - it's a win, win solution. Can you work out something similar perhaps? Good luck!

Please consider very carefully before agreeing to this.
Your own health and wellbeing, and weigh against social contact and all the benefits you get from outside work and having your own independence.
I definitely would not take this on, so many negatives and could jeopardize your relationship with your lovely family.
You must have your own interests and freedom, and be available as a' treat ' for grandchildren.
Good luck in whatever you choose!

I did something similar (not F/T) stopped my job, committed to it, only for Son and DIL to decide they wanted child to go to new fashionable nursery where friends kids went. I cant describe the gaping hole it left in my life. Id say dont do it. They also adopted an employers attitude towards me, leaving instructions for the day whereas when Id babysat before they were happy to let me plan the day, no - dont do it.

I think it is up to you and how you feel about it. If you decide against it, would your daughter be unhappy with you.
A lot of grandparents are already doing similar things and not getting paid but do you want to be tied down looking after someone else's children and not free to enjoy what you want.
I think I would do it in the short term but not if I was tied down for years taking them to and from school etc.
The amount of £700 per month would not take you into the tax bracket and as long as you pay for your NI stamp every week then it would be basically cash in hand.
Do not be pressured into this, only do it if you want to.

I am uneasy about situations where one family member pays another for services. It can really unbalance the family dynamic. For instance if she doesn't like something about the way you're doing the "job" or you want better pay or conditions, the whole thing can take on an extra layer of unpleasantness. It's impossible to separate business from your relationship when the whole thing involves a customer you're related to as well as kids you're both related to. I'd turn this offer down on that basis alone.

£700 per month! No
£700 per week. Perhaos Yes. We employ 3 self employed people to help us with work outside and a build we are doing. They are all main wage earners. Two charge £15 per hour. That equates to £600 per week. The third charges us £16 ph. That covers their petrol and fuel needed for equipment they bring. BUT...

I could look after them for short periods but not full time. When I retired (60) I had one GD for a week at a time but wouldn't do it full time.

What if you are ill?

Sorry But I definitely wouldn’t, it will be like having your children young again without as much energy.
I think you may be at risk of loosing the special grandmother time we all love and it becoming a chore, you would be tied to school hours and inset days and not being able to have a life of your own.
I have recently moved over 100 miles to be closer to my daughter and her young family and I help out a lot but I wouldn’t want to do it 40 hrs a week, it could also risk jeopardising the relationship with your daughter.

Such good advice for everyone. One very valid point is to maintain a good relationship with your daughter who obviously thinks very highly of you if she has asked you to look after her children. It's tough for young parents to make ends meet so I get why she has asked you but you might both live to regret it if you take on your grandchildren full time. I have had the immense good fortune to have been actively involved with my three grandsons since their birth and have helped my daughter and daughter in law with child care on a temporary basis to help cut down the cost of nursery care and have loved every minute. Could there be a compromise in your case? Cut down your hours at the nursery and take on your grandchildren two or three days a week? Good luck whatever you decide.

I wouldn’t, you deserve a life after bringing up your own children. Do you really want to be so tied and to effectively be your daughters employee? Your family dynamics will be changed forever (if they haven’t already been). Do please think very carefully about this, the impact a 40 working week will have on you and what sort of life you will have going forward. If your daughter can afford £700 per week she could employ a nanny from a reputable agency where things like insurance will be dealt with.