Christmas money for grown up grandkids

It's the thought that counts, yes just give them a pressie, I'm sure they will undrstand.

That’s meant to read..never expensive.

I always give a gift of some kind to include everyone at christmas, but to do so i collect things all year, and in sales, or '3 for 2's' etc.its the thought that counts i feel.But i know my lot well, so i know even if i only give a make up or toiletry gift set ( for older ones) that its something that WONT end up in a charity shop- their favourite shower gel/deodorant spray set, or even favourite chocolate, come on you all must know your own kids,grandkids, & in-laws well enough by now?? And nicely wrapped (but im hopeless at wrapping) it helps them all feel 'not left out'-like someone cares and for younger ones i spend about only £20 on each at most but try to get something i know they currently like/need.Looking at this lot on here MOST of you sound like the grinch! Though i do realise some of you havent got much, but as i say, theres bargain shops/sales etc, and 365 days to save gifts up. Or maybe gift for younger ones and i.o.u's for others to gift them your time & teach them a skill, or do something with them like cinema or tea out together (all when we can safely do so of course, covid permitting!) A gifts about loving& giving.

buying gifts surely isn't about how much money they have ,or will earn.I buy for people because I love them .They'll be my children and grandchildren whatever age they are or how much money they earn.If you feel you need to cut back then explain that to their mothers/fathers or just buy a family gift that they can all enjoy.

Phoebes

PammyHoops:
‘Demonisation’??? It’s that predictive text creeping in again, I suppose!

Oh, I don’t know, Phoebes, sometimes I think some people have had ‘ demonisation’ gifts already!

I used to give very nice presents to my (grand) DN, I had no grandchildren then, and their parents were not well off as their DM was studying. Spent ages thinking what they'd really like, and spent a lot of money. I did get a thankyou letter from the little girl, but not from the boys. I stopped when their DM finished Uni. I would have like some acknowledgement fort all the thought and effort.

Can I bring up something in a similar vein? I’m an only child and DH has an older sister ‘down country’. We have 2DDs, 2SILs and 1 DGS. She has 2ASs with OHs and 2 DGDs. She was widowed 7 years ago.

Before that, we hardly ever saw her but after her DH died, she started coming 3/4 times a year and every Ch******s! Her own family live in the same town, which always puzzles me why she wants to be with us.

When her DH was alive we did exchange gifts - good ones - expensive perfumes/after shaves etc - much earlier in the year, by arrangement.

However, since her DH died - her present buying has got out of hand! Her hobby is shopping and spending money.
The cost isn’t really a problem for either of us, but we’ve not seen her boys for 4 years since her DGD’s Christening, before that it was at her DH’s funeral and then 9yrs ago at DD2’s wedding.

I’m torn - I always get a list - Jo Malone, Hugo Boss, CCAntaeus, etc so all easily bought but as they’re approaching 50 - is it all necessary? I know I’ll probably continue for ever, but just wanted to get it off my chest.

Is it really necessary Madmother21 to give each £1000? Even if youre rich, i doubt theres many on here give that much? That i feel is going to the other extreme- opposite of grinch, but verging on the ridiculous, and the sort of thing thats making a lot on here whom genuinely 'dont have much' feel like theyre being extra tight- i think its by-passing the whole part of putting some thought into the giving of a gift! As for OP yes just give a small gift to open, for them all, Cut out the money giving, even make a gift if you can, like a knitted scarf or gloves, or nicely wrapped home- made chocs or sweets, maybe presented in a mug?Or something you know they will use, like cinema tickets in an envelope with gift wrapping on. Its putting the time/effort/thought into it that counts.Hands up all of you who've ever been blubbing over a home made card or gift from a child/grandchild? Exactly, well for others its just as much appreciated (mostly) if you put care/thought into gift buying..i once bought one of my (now adult) GC a favourite comic subscription for a year, when he was little, and he said it was the best gift he'd had that year! Its just showing you know them, you love them& you care- that's christmas!

When I was growing up I had lots of cousins and the agreement with all the parents was every child would receive a christmas present up until they started working and then the presents would stop. This really seems to work out well and everyone expected it.

Paddyanne obviously I know it’s about loving them, I don’t need to speak to their parents as the two grandkids in question are 26 and 23 Obviously I would still be giving them a present it’s the money I also give I was asking about.

Mine have a choice. pantomime ticket for us all to go together on Christmas Eve, or a present. Most of them choose the pantomime, which means at least we all enjoy one evening together over the festive period.
This year has been cancelled due to Covid so instead we are going to an outdoor illuminated evening on a big local park

I have always been generous. My point is, I can't take it with me , so I may as well give it to them while I'm alive, and I can see them enjoying it. I have 7 adults and 4 little ones. I also get them a little token gift/toy which they can unwrap.

That's a lovely idea June. All together and making happy memories over the years. Subject this year of course to whatever restrictions apply.

Spot on Spice101.
I have 4 grandchildren and i give them £30 each for Christmas and birthdays.

My Dad used to give our boys some money even when they were over 21, as he could afford it and they needed it, money is most appreciated at that age. I think presents for older children are often not right. Their tastes change from one month to the next.

The thing is, I really don’t know what my grandchildren would like. They are all teenagers and their tastes keep changing. We don’t see that much of each other, and certainly don’t discuss which toiletries or cosmetics they like. It is getting too hard to find presents when all they want is money. And as for their parents, I tried to stop for adults, but they want to keep giving.

Oh dear. Buying presents/ giving money does not have any link to love.
Rich, poor or in between, Christmas buying seems to be out of control.
People get into debt; gifts end up in the bin or charity shop. Christmas has just become a materialistic spendfest for many.
Christmas shouldn’t be about cost/ quality/ volume of gifts should it?
As for spending money on earning adults!!

Goergesgran- if this is getting out of hand for you, you must tell her so.Just write telling her that due to covid situation this year you cant therefore extend your usual 'invite' to her- as you&your hubby are dining alone this year, and also regretfully, its affected your gift buying/sending too- and cannot therefore include everyone as you did last year! Then send letter with PLENTY of time for her to absorb this information, then closer to xmas send Just Her a small gift/card, (just for herself!) and wish her a happy christmas and New year with her family.Im sure she will get the hint.if she rings up re-iterate how things have changed this year, as they have for everyone, (we CANT mingle with anyone at moment anyway can we???) and that you hope she has a nice christmas,WITH HER FAMILY (if of course we are 'allowed'- though a single person can bubble with one other so she wont probably be alone) I know i said xmas is about giving, but this womans taking advantage, sending lists etc and expecting you to buy for it? Thats NOT in spirit of christmas, thats having a wishlist you want filling! (These are expensive items) not just token gifts!This is only encouraging her to shop/spend money.It has to stop.As i said, blame covid situation if you have to.but kindly decline.

I dont mean Cleopanda giving gifts is a link to love, i mean the fact youve bothered to buy THEIR FAVOURITE, no matter how little it cost, shows you know them and care, the fact theyre not left out when little kids are opening up whats under the tree, might make a difference, show theyre still loved& cared about, not feel like theyre not bothered about this year just cause 'theyre older'? Can you imagine how that would feel to you if for example your OH came home with a newer,younger wife and then handed out a big gift for her and said "oh, nothing for you this year love you dont need it now your older& theres a young one here for gift- giving!"! Extreme example i know, but how do we know the 'older ones' of GC etc dont feel left out,like gran&granpa dont care about THEM anymore now younger ones are here? We dont.so a token gift shows you love them ALL just as much.?

Nannan2, because, in my family, we don't equate material gifts with love - I'm glad to say - we show affection.

Thanks Nannan2 - The Crimbo visit has already been knocked on the head this year because DH will still be having his new chemo through to May and in the NE we’ll probably still be in lockdown.
I’ve suggested I send both her ASs and OHs flowers and wine by post and similar for her. I’m not a lover of Christmas ? at the best of times - but as my DH has never done holidays, she and I have been able to go away together every year since her DH died. Of course she also buys our family extravagant gifts! Really we are just exchanging £500 when all’s said and done!

I have 5 grown up
GC who I am in contact with.
They all have offspring ranging from One month to 12 years I now give £25 to ten for Christmas and birthdays with the request that Premium bonds are purchased.They all have an abundance of toys from parents and other relatives. The parents are happy with that.

I always ask my Dtr what the Grandchildren would like as I hate wasting money on things they don't want. I used to give her & SIL money but now I buy them something they really want. The only problem is she always likes to buy me things I don't need (I don't want to sound ungrateful but I would sooner she spends it on the children). So some of the presents end up in the wardrobe as I don't like mentioning it to her, I just tell her I don't need anything. She just says you know we will buy you something so I ask for a plant for my garden or a £5 voucher for the garden centre which I would love.

Hetty not easy when 5 out of 7 live overseas
Same goes for gift cards not easy to find a shop they would shop in that has branches overseas
It’s a minefield

Buying gift cards for stores is usually a lovely gift to buy for people you don’t know what to get for or family away but particularly this year it might not be a good idea. A lot of stores, maybe some big ones might go out of business. If they do your money will be lost. Just giving cash will be much better even if it’s by bank transfer.