Are they insensitive?

I know exactly how you feel, having been there many times myself but I have learnt to rationalise. I know my DS and DiL love me. I know my DGC love me so what else is there really. It is very rare to love one person more than another even if they provide better presents or give more attention.

Sorry have wandered a little off piste but just to say I sympathise but I am sure both your DD and DGD love the sleep suit you made. (Maybe they are saving it for best!)

I do understand but, as others have said, there are plenty of reasons it was not the one used for the photograph.
One thing I did wonder was whether anyone else had made something for her and your daughter-in-law decided to be tactful and use neither for the photo?

I would actually say something....just perhaps...I was wondering if she wears it...is it ok..only I saw some fb photos....and see what she says...(she obviously has more than one and your daughter wasn’t thinking...)

I don’t think FarNorth was being rude as I too thought sleep suit=baby. Does your daughter live in a very cold climate? My 3 year old granddaughter wears pyjamas now. I would have thought that a pretty party dress would have been more appropriate for an Instagram birthday photo.
I used to dress my sons in awful knitted romper suits my MIL knitted him only when I visited her. They came off as soon as I got home.

7 year olds dress themselves. Why is the mum getting the blame here?

If someone gives my son clothes, he will wear them when he feels like it.

Dressing kids up in a photo for granny is something you do with a baby. Not a big kid.

I wouldn't have been upset by this, but I know, that what I get upset about tends to be decided on my mood at the time. If I'm feeling low, I will be much more sensitive. So big hug coming your way in case you need it and for whatever reason.

Talented lady! I'm just upset that I can't see my GC x2 at present. When I see photos, I'm always saying: is that the one I bought? Lol. I can never remember because I buy them stuff so often!!

I understand you feel upset, but I hope you can let it go. Another time, maybe pre-empt the problem by asking for a photo ‘just to see how it looks’. Then you get to see it on, regardless of Instagram posts.

I’m with Farnorth. At 7, I’d imagine she chooses her own clothes, so I wouldn’t be too upset at her choice. Maybe she doesn’t fancy the feet? I’m sure a few chilly nights will change her mind!

And Lolo81, the ‘baby’ is 7.

At least you were sent a photo of your grandchild ....some people, like me, have NEVER even seen our grandchildren, let alone find a trivial matter to be upset about .........be thankful for small mercies !

Daddima, just checked back and my post has crossed the OP’s reply within minutes, hence my assumption it was a baby being discussed.
Given this child is 7 yo then there is definitely a high likelihood they pick their own clothes.
The other thing I picked up is that the homemade sleep suit was made a couple of weeks before the birthday and wasn’t given as a birthday gift, so again I go back to - be proud of your talent OP. But a child of that age should be able to pick and choose their pyjamas without it causing any issues. I’m afraid this is a little bit of a mountain being made out of a molehill.

Why do you need to look for constant reassurance that your DC love and care for you and treat any occasion when they do anything that you do not like or a bit off as so upsetting?
I don't need constant reassurance, thank you. Neither do I treat any occasion when they do something I don't like as 'upsetting.' You are magnifying this one event and assuming that I always react in this way. I don't. The child's parents do lots of things I disagree with, and I never say anything.

Reminds me of the old joke- mother gives son 2 ties, he wears one. Mother - Didn't you like the other one?

Oh dear what harsh replies.
I realise now why I never post to ask advice as you often get more than you bargain for.

22dragonfly46 Oh dear what harsh replies.
I couldn't agree more!

I like your comment winifred01

If you made it as a Birthday Gift then it was insensitive and I’m sure , unintentional. But if it wasn’t a gift then I don’t think that there is a problem, maybe the one she was wearing was a Birthday Present?
Noit wasn't a birthday present, but it had taken me ages to complete. DD had specifically asked me to make one with feet. She sent a pattern, but it was for a toddler. I enlarged the pattern and made a suit but it turned out too small. So, I bought new fabric and enlarged the pattern again. That time it was a success.
I think I was momentarily upset, as I had gone to so much trouble and expense to make the 'xxxx' thing!

I find it strange that there are many comments about harsh replies. Nothing I have read here is harsh it is just opinions that differ from what is expected. If you post on here not everyone is going to agree with your feelings. You cant expect everyone to feel the way you feel. Personally I am glad that people say what they think.
As to the onsie/sleepsuit thing, dont stress about it, its not worth getting yourself in a tiz about.

I think some replies on here are very harsh and unhelpful. You may think that someone is upset for little reason but we are all different with different lives , experiences and sensitivities. My lovely mum held to the old adage that if you’ve nothing nice to say , then don’t say anything. Seems particularly apt when speaking to a person you may not know or someone who is distressed or maybe there are bullies on gransnet?

Tooyoungtobeagrandma

How about your son posting pics of the items you give as presents?
As usual, the blame is misplaced

My kids started picking up what they wanted to wear at 1.5 years old.

Kids are not dolls to dress to make adults happy - babies or older ages.

It is not about how much effort the giver put in the present, it is about the receiver.

This thread is a perfect example of gifts with strings attached.

piano0156

I think it was insensitive.If the sleeping suit you made was in the wash they could have said something to that effect so as not to upset you.Very uthinking.I would have been upset too.x

But why make an issue out of nothing?

If I posted a photo of my children, It certainly would not occur to me to post in the caption that they are wearing this because of that and they aren’t wearing that because it’s in the wash. I would just post a photo and get on with life. It’s not meant to be hurtful or a snub.

If I posted photos of my children now and wrote out everything they were wearing they would think I was a crazy person.

This thread is a perfect example of gifts with strings attached

There are no strings attached! I simply thought it was insensitive to post a picture of a different sleepsuit. When 'strings are attached,' it's usually about money being given with the proviso of how it should be spent.

I don't mind people giving their own opinion actually, even if I disagree with them. Life would be boring if we all thought alike.
Thank you to all who have posted positive comments.

Yes, there are strings attached - you expected your item to be in the pictures, to see the fruits of your labour and how happy your gc was wearing it.

Please don't start making a big deal out of such little things. Yes we can get hurt by family snipes and careless attitudes
but try to get your life into some perspective. Maybe you are easily wounded, where does that come from? There is so much more to come, much more difficult issues about raising a child in a world we have little experience of. As they say choose your battles, but better still stop looking for them and rejoice in the fact that your child brought another into the world. The greatest gift a mother can have