Calling SS on Tuesday

Where does your son stand in all this?

Just an innocent passive bystander?

Again, it is up to your son to do something about it.

No I believe he had to have been worried to have told me I never knew of it before he said and showed me articles about it.

Maybe I should out the as call on hold as he has now said he will register them at a school here and have them stay with us for two weeks and send them everyday when a place comes up. Hopefully they'll see they've missed out

Sorry typo I'll put SS call on hold

Your son needs to do something, not you.
I imagine he will have to answer a lot of questions if SS get involved and will probably be involved too, not just your DIL.

I find it hard to a believe that a dad has no idea about his children's education for 7 years.

He did know I didn't know

I can't believe how he authorities leave them to their own devices to get on with this. I'd have thought they were inspected or on a register or something

Your grandchildren are being educated, Granypie - just not in a manner that you approve of, and I can’t see why your approval is necessary, as they’re not your children. If you Google ‘Unschooling’ you’ll find out more about it. I cannot see that there’s anything to report to SS, provided the children are well-cared for.

If your son doesn’t like his children being unschooled then he needs to take responsibility himself and make moves to change things, not get his mum to do it.

And here’s an article. www.theschoolrun.com/what-is-unschooling

They're behind

Behind what?

They're behind other children of their age as they are not having an education. Children in schools are reading and writing long before 7.

Granypie

I understand that how Dil brings up her children is 100% up to her. I have no say in that at all.

When it comes to the children's education it's their right being denied and as far as I can see Law being broken.

I too have never played Minecraft but a 7year old on weekdays should be in school or learning proper lessons NOT playing Minecraft from 10am until gone midnight.

I agree with you. Not sure what you can do but I would be as worried as you are. ?

They are being educated. Just not in the way you want them to be educated. Who is to say whether they are behind or not? Does it matter when they learn, so long as they get there in the end? Children aren’t robots, they don’t all learn the same thing at the same age. In most other countries children don’t even begin school until six or seven years old. The UK is an outlier in this respect, sending 4yos to school.

Thank you @Vickysponge

I repeat you son has gone along with your daughter in laws life style for 7 years!!!

he has now said he will register them at a school here and have them stay with us for two weeks and send them everyday when a place comes up

I m sorry to say you won’t find any school that will take on children who live a long way away for two weeks here and there
As much as you may think it’s wrong it is a perfectly lawful way to educate children just not your or my way I can totally understand your concerns but they are your concerns, not the mothers and up to very recently not the fathers either.
Your son must have had a conversation when they were 4 or 5 and getting ready for mainstream school and he must have accepted this alternative way of teaching that your daughter in law advocated He has only changed his mind since being influenced by you
I repeat if they are well fed, clothed, clean and happy there is nothing to be done I couldn’t bear having children go to bed when they want and playing on games all day but it’s not my call and neither is it yours
I would step back and let your son make some choices

If you go on the Gov.uk website there is information regarding Home Education, and what is expected if this is chosen by parents.
Home Education comes under the Local Authority and if they feel that this is not being carried out well, there are steps they can take.
First though, if your Son has now decided that this style of Education is not working out, he must discuss this with their Mother.

Try not to distress yourself.
Your grandchildren may well, through the interests they develop of their own volition, go on to overtake their more conventionally educated peers and to excel in some field that would never have become available through the national curriculum. When their interests require them to be able to read, or to study maths, science or the arts, they will acquire these skills because they will be motivated to do so.

I think it seems a bit of a bohemian lifestyle in many ways. No structure and no boundaries by the sounds of it. I’m not sure that I’d like it for my grandchildren either Granypie and I would be concerned. I think children ‘need’ boundaries to feel safe with their parameters otherwise their available scope is just too overwhelming. No-one to say ‘no’. I honestly think it would frighten a child to have so much freedom and power, deciding what they will or will not do.

However your son has been complicit with these loose arrangements (until now). It’s up to him to sort this out with his (ex?) wife. Please don’t even think about getting involved. Are there other grandparents? If so, what does your son think they feel about this ‘unschooling’?

Good luck going forward. I hope the parents can thrash this out and agree a course of action.

you seem to have a very regimented idea of how children should be raised.
in most european countries children do not even begin any formal learning until after age 7, and they are usually well ahead of uk outcomes in educational achievement.
these children may well be more mature in their own way, more resourceful and self-sufficient than those who have been dragooned from infancy, and their every move timetabled.
leave them be. if you alienate the children's mother, you may not see the children. your son's idea of ad hoc schooling is a non-starter. no school would accept that. and what about the effect on the children. it might traumatise them to be thrown into a totally different, highly regimented environment.
they sound happy and healthy. let them be.

I've read all the replies on her and agree that it is not your call, Granypie, it is up to your son to decide on the best course of action. But I wonder how many of those saying it's not a problem, they'll catch up eventually (by some form of osmosis, I assume) and not to worry would feel the same if it were their grandchildren. Just a thought.............

Sorry, "here" not "her".

I'd be worried too, especially about the computer games which I presume are online and unsupervised. Whilst, I'm of the view that now days there is too much emphasis on academic learning from a very young age and far too many tests and that the continental approach of starting formal learning at 6 or 7 is much more child friendly; I'm also of the view that children still need structure and learning through play but definitely not unrestricted and unsupervised use of online games which can potentially be very damaging; more so than being force fed an education at school.

Granypie, my impression is that you’ve had little involvement in the lives of your grandchildren until your son left his family and moved in with you.
He was happy with their way of life but is now talking of taking the children to live with him at your house. The children are somehow having to understand daddy has gone. Unless there are safeguarding issues, surely the last thing they need is a war between their newly separated parents.
Children’s Services are responsible for the welfare and safeguarding of children. The l.a. Education department for ensuring their educational needs are met. I’m not a fan of homeschooling or nonschooling but both are popular.
Your son has parental responsibilities, shared with his wife. Your role in all of this must be to support the parents in their choices, without judgement.

Hmm. This too is a worry:

“According to the 'Entertaining Software Rating Board' (ESRB), Minecraft is suitable for users aged 10+. Due to its 'Fantasy Violence,' the ESRB states that this rating has been given as 'players can engage in violent acts such as setting animals on fire and harming them with weapons.”

I know our almost 9y old has expressed an interest as he’s obviously heard other boys at school talking about it at play time. ‘No way José’ said his mummy. ‘It’s against the law. If other mummies say ‘yes’ that’s their business, but you aren’t old enough yet’.

So - a 7y olds playing until midnight? As McEnroe would say ‘you gotta be joking, right?’.

This isn’t schooling. Or even ‘unschooling’. It’s ducking parental responsibility. ‘The easy option’.

I'd take what your son says with a pinch of salt. If they are playing Mincecraft from 10am till midnight then how are they coloring, cooking and going into the woods?

It doesn't add up, that for 7 years he's gone along with this and had absolutely no idea that his children can't read or write?

My 8 year old plays Minecraft and you have to read to play that otherwise you don't know what you're doing. So he must be able to read.