Calling SS on Tuesday

Why doesn’t your son go for custody and send them to school

GranyPie - "the first thing I'll be doing on Tuesday is phoning up their local authority and getting someone sent round there "

Oh dear. As we are now past "first thing on Tuesday" I suspect you have been told that the local authority will not discuss any children with you, as you do not have parental responsibility. They may well have questioned (as do I) why their father (who may or may not have PR) isn't raising the concerns himself.

As for "getting someone sent round there", I think this is very unlikely. No member of the public can demand this. The LA will have it's own procedures to follow in deciding whether a home visit is appropriate.

I will look forward to your update following your call to the LA, and their response.

That is interesting NotSpaghetti I wonder if it applies here in Scotland too?
I remember getting into trouble when we took our DS out of school for one day to share a beach picnic with some old friends. Unfortunately he wrote a report of it in his news next day...
Later we took DD out of school for a term (I told them) and sent her to her DGP in France to attend their local school and learn the language. The school here was not pleased and we had dire warnings of her missing out. Of course she didn't.

My understanding of home schooling is that the local authority can call round at any time to check that the children are receiving an education after their 5th birthday as this is the law.
www.gov.uk/home-education

I have contacted the local authority and yes of course they discussed the children with me. They're not going to turn somebody away who is raising a concern over a child. It did not matter to them who it was phoning.

They have told me that they will write to Dil to arrange a visit and take things from there. They can, if they feel necessary, enforce that Dil send the children to a school. Not tomorrow, but after a process has been followed that allows them to decide if the children are receiving a suitable full time education or not

As it stands they had never heard of my gc and said many from the "Unschooling" community like to stay "Under the radar" and actually thanked me for bringing the situation to light

I'd just like to point out that I am not against homeschooling if done properly nor am I against alternative methods of educating children. But this unschooling is not either of those things and should be nipped in the bud immediately.

@chardy not sure f the parents do not inform them of their arrangements

Sorry that should say not if the parents don't inform them of their arrangements

You do understand that once that LEA letter drops on your DIL's mat, as a result, you stand to lose contact with both her and your grandchildren for a good long time, possibly forever? Estrangement may well follow.

But you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and say

'You did a good job there, Granypie. Well done".

Well I hope that last post helped justify your behaviour to yourself OP.
Unschooling (as you have been informed and given articles on) is a valid educational choice for a parent to implement.

You don’t agree with it, therefore you don’t think it’s valid based on your own values. But just because you don’t like it and want to stamp your foot, doesn’t make it any less of a valid choice for a PARENT to make.

The reality here is you have seriously overstepped your bounds and I’d imagine there will be consequences down the line for you. Hopefully it won’t impact any custody/separation stuff for your son, but who knows? I mean when people get angry they can make rash and impulsive choices - look at the phone call you made because you were having a wee tantrum and not getting your own way about someone else’s children.

All the best on your continued involvement here OP.

ixion

You do understand that once that LEA letter drops on your DIL's mat, as a result, you stand to lose contact with both her and your grandchildren for a good long time, possibly forever? Estrangement may well follow.

But you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and say

'You did a good job there, Granypie. Well done".

It does beg the question of whether it is better to have 'ensured' the GCs' education but lost contact, or said nothing and watched them grow up in 'alternative' circumstances. A moral dilemma.

It also adds credence to the un-PC music-hall jokes about MiL riding a broomstick, which is a pity.

Chardy

My understanding of home schooling is that the local authority can call round at any time to check that the children are receiving an education after their 5th birthday as this is the law.
www.gov.uk/home-education

No, they can make an"informal enquiry". They can not "call round at any time"

You're right @ixion I seriously regret my decision what I should have done is said nothing about the children's educational welfare being neglected and their future ruined because it's more important that I see them for my own needs, sod theirs.

I'm also concerned about the pleasure you seem to be taking from the thought if things going horribly wrong for me with regards to contact with my gc. I understand you and some others may be slightly disappointed by the result of my call to the LA but I'm sure you have things in your own life to focus on rather than rubbing your hands together at the thought of things going badly for me

The letter that Grannypie refers to a few posts above is just such an "informal enquiry" by the way.

Yes and had I not have called they would not be making ANY enquiry

Oh dear. If the person at the LA discussed children over the phone, with no way of knowing who she as talking to she is in serious trouble.

As for remarks such as “keeping under the radar’ that was very inappropriate.

I hope the phone call was recorded. Now the DIL has substantial grounds for complaint and to challenge any LA judgement.
Also any kind of resolution between parents is virtually impossible.

I think you may have actually done a very unwise thing Granypie. It really should have been your son. Really. Truly,

What on earth would they be in trouble for? Somebody called raised a concern and they told them how it will be dealt with. Sorry to spoil your fun but nobody will be getting fired from any job for that

You gave your name, relationship and contact details?
Or were you an anonymous caller?

I gave my information I have no reason not to

Yes, Grammaretto the law is different in Scotland but not substantially. There are lots of home-edders in Scotland.

Since devolution, the application of the law is also slightly different Wales.

I’m not 100% confident of the difference but you may find something here: www.schoolhouse.org.uk/

The reason you got into trouble when you took your son out for the day and had “dire warnings” regarding the French experience is because you had already basically handed your “education responsibility” to them and then (sort of) tried to take it back again.

The French trip would probably have been easier if you had “de-registered” her - as it seems to me that you were technically expecting them to do was sign her off as “present” - and by that I mean being educated- for a term (because you said she was being educated elsewhere).

Interesting though!

Did your son manage to drag himself to this phone call at all?

Once again we’re discussing the apparent neglect of his children and yet he doesn’t feature.

I have been trying to help by explaining how it works. I’m not having “fun”. Just if you really want to get things done there is right way to go about it. And a way that just muddies the waters and can make it more difficult or even prevent it.

If all she did was take information and explain the procedure that would be ok. That’s why I said I hoped it would be recorded.

If she discussed the children in any way or made judgemental remarks that opens the door for your DIL to make complaint against the LA.

It could have been avoided by your son making the call.

I do actually know what I’m talking about here. It was part of my job.

Granypie

Yes and had I not have called they would not be making ANY enquiry

No need to be so shouty, Granypie - I was just using this as an example to explain to Chardy the sort of informal enquiry the LEA might want to make.

I’m sorry - I was trying to be helpful!

Bibbity you seem desperate to turn this into some kind of slanging match with me about my son. The thread is about concerns over my gc education I have since notified the local authority and left it in their capable hands. If they deem the "education" suitable then nothing more will come of it, if not then they will see to it that the children are sent to school. They are the experts.

I have never once said that anything other than the children's education is being neglected.

If it improves your day to sit there seething with spite over my actions and a negative opinion of my son and his use of a telephone or lack thereof, a man you have never met and most likely never will, then you crack on love.

I was not shouting at you @notspaghetti I was just emphasising that without being informed the LA would have not looked into them as they were not known to them as is allowed with homeschooling

@peasblossom the only way the person taking the call could have got to not trouble would be if they held information regarding the GC and shared that information with me. As they didn't know if the family they had no information to share or to tell me they couldn't share.

Quite frankly some of the way people have spoken to me and the level of spite are just shocking. I wonder why people respond in an aggressive nasty way and can't give objective advice.

Ok - you were given a lot of objective advice at the start of this thread to mind your business.

You didn’t like that advice, so objectivity hasn’t ever been your issue, I think you’re looking for validation.

And as for your son - is it so crazy to assume that he should be advocating for his children is this is what he thinks (as you’ve said it is). Why does he need his mum to do that for him?

The reason you’re being met with negativity is due to your spectacular lack of self awareness.