Husband is reluctant grandfather

DiscoDancer1975

The calling my husband ‘ dad ‘ bit.

My husband refers to me as "mummy" when he's talking to the dog, for crying out loud ???

We’re guilty of that with the dog but never with the now 36 year old child!

He is a big spoilt, never grown up baby, you enjoy those irreplaceable times with your GC, they will never forget the love they're getting from Grandma/Nanna, unconditional, he is a big loser and they are his flesh and blood to boot.

V3ra

DiscoDancer1975

The calling my husband ‘ dad ‘ bit.

My husband refers to me as "mummy" when he's talking to the dog, for crying out loud ???

???

Bibbity

18 months do not ever need to be "told off" they are babies. Redirection and distraction.
But no children learn from being "told off" being spoken to and having the situation explained is correct .
Did he have to tell off his colleagues?

That’s when my four had the most tellings off, well, my eldest anyway. By the time they were three, they didn’t need it any more. I must admit my eldest paved the way for the other three. They watched and learnt!

They don’t remember anything much now.

What's the difference between being "told off" and "spoken to and having the situation explained" as Bibbity suggests?

I'm genuinely puzzled. To me a telling off could be given to anyone at any age who is doing something wrong. The responses some had suggest that telling off a child is a form of abuse!

Notjustaprettyface

I think there are more problems than you're telling us.
Surely your husband shouldn't begrudge you a couple of days with your grandchildren when he has the rest of the days with you!
If you're really considering a move, try talking to your daughter or other children, if you have more, and she/they may be able to come up with a solution. Is it possible your daughter could make room for you?
Something like this may be the kick up the bum your husband needs, to make him realise he's being silly!!

I too have this issue I am.retired and my husband is not my children's dad, he is very nice when the grandchildren s parents are there but once they leave he only speaks to the girls to shout at them to be quite or make comments about the way they behave
It has resulted in cross words many times, I dread telling him they are coming over his face says it all then he say what again I'm sick of this
I've asked him not to make me chose as I will chose my family
He has today blown up because he has invited his son who has caused no end of trouble for me and my family for the entire Christmas and New year without asking me
My son has asked if the girls can stay over on boxing day
My husband has said this has ruined his Christmas and locked himself in our bedroom and is refusing to eat or talk tor
I have agreed with my son to have the girls at their house so my husbands son does not have to go home but he says that's still ruined Christmas as I will not be there for that one night, all he does is sit like book ends on the sofa with his son both with headsets on watching stuff on iPads and ignore me
The cooking will all be for me too do so if I can't see my family what kind of Christmas will it be for me
We have been married for 12 years and at first heade an effort with my kids and the now grown up grandkids but for some reason he has a massive issue with my youngest son and his girls to the point of hatred
I want out but he has nowhere to go as he moved in my house and I took am at my witts end
His family tell me I married him so it's up to me to be responsible for him as he is not going to live with any of them
He is my second husband and has proved to be worse than my first one
Any advice would be great but I am not willing to give up the girls or my children for him they have been great with him and accepted him into our family if I told them how he speaks and feels about them they would be devastated so I am on my own trying to keep everyone happy and it's killing me slowly

Tell him this is has last chance to make an effort, and that if doesn't, he'll be given notice to move out of your house.

How ridiculous, him behaving like some sort of overgrown child, who everyone must pander to.

He's responsible for himself!

It's not your problem if he has to find somewhere else to live. I am assuming you are retired so he can ask the council to house him in an elderly people's apartment block, they often have vacancies.

WHY RESURRECT AN OLD THREAD?

He cannot be given notice to move out of the matrimonial home if they are married.
That is his right to dwell there unless and until a court orders otherwise.
OP maybe you could consult a solicitor to see how you are fixed.
All the best.

Lynnybobs

I too have this issue I am.retired and my husband is not my children's dad, he is very nice when the grandchildren s parents are there but once they leave he only speaks to the girls to shout at them to be quite or make comments about the way they behave
It has resulted in cross words many times, I dread telling him they are coming over his face says it all then he say what again I'm sick of this
I've asked him not to make me chose as I will chose my family
He has today blown up because he has invited his son who has caused no end of trouble for me and my family for the entire Christmas and New year without asking me
My son has asked if the girls can stay over on boxing day
My husband has said this has ruined his Christmas and locked himself in our bedroom and is refusing to eat or talk tor
I have agreed with my son to have the girls at their house so my husbands son does not have to go home but he says that's still ruined Christmas as I will not be there for that one night, all he does is sit like book ends on the sofa with his son both with headsets on watching stuff on iPads and ignore me
The cooking will all be for me too do so if I can't see my family what kind of Christmas will it be for me
We have been married for 12 years and at first heade an effort with my kids and the now grown up grandkids but for some reason he has a massive issue with my youngest son and his girls to the point of hatred
I want out but he has nowhere to go as he moved in my house and I took am at my witts end
His family tell me I married him so it's up to me to be responsible for him as he is not going to live with any of them
He is my second husband and has proved to be worse than my first one
Any advice would be great but I am not willing to give up the girls or my children for him they have been great with him and accepted him into our family if I told them how he speaks and feels about them they would be devastated so I am on my own trying to keep everyone happy and it's killing me slowly

You need to start your own thread. People will read the original post and reply to that not you. Or they will query an old post

Germanshepherdsmum

The simple fact is that not everyone likes small children - I readily admit that I don’t and would be irritated if I were in your husband’s position putting up with them and the noise they inevitably make all day and the disruption of normal routine so I can see where he’s coming from. He’s not an ‘awful man’ he’s simply being honest about his feelings and perhaps he also resents sharing you. Can’t you look after them at their home both days? I shall now don my tin hat and retire behind the sofa.

I would agree wholly with Germanshepherds Mum here were it not for the fact that the children are at his (your joint) house for only one day a week.
That, I think, is being unreasonable.
He has the right to be not as interested in the grandchildren as you are but he does not have the right to spoil your enjoyment by whingeing on the one day a week that they're at your house.

Georgesgran

WHY RESURRECT AN OLD THREAD?

Because that’s what posters do 😂
The last post is referencing a poster that is no longer with us 😥