Retire to care for 1yr old?

mrsbirdy 70 miles is quite a distance. Who will do the driving? It (along with the caring) could soon become a bore.

Do you enjoy working? If so - I'd carry on. Do you really want to look after the toddler - or is it your daughter's idea?

Maybe you could take some holiday and give it a trial run? If your daughter struggles with the cost of childcare, perhaps you could make a contribution (that's what I did).

I'm happy to babysit on occasion, but I soon resent any regular commitments. Although I'm retired, with plenty of spare time, I've 'done my bit' with childcare, already (thanks) bringing up mine. Now, my time is mine and I'm free, with no need to make myself useful!

A 70 mile drive? No way would I commit myself to that every week. I’m surprised your daughter hopes you will do it. I love being retired after a very stressful job with long hours, but if you’re only doing a four day week and you enjoy your work and are in good health, I wouldn’t retire just yet.

Seems a long way to go for a day of childcare but it would be an opportunity to build a relationship. I like the idea of taking time off to give it a try.

If I was enjoying my work I don’t think I’d make that life change for one day a week. Or is it going to take three? Are you staying over or getting up early and driving back late?

Having said that I’ve never regretted stopping work. There’s a whole other life out there. ?

Its unreasonable to expect you to drive 70 miles to provide free childcare! I take it this is a 70 mile round trip of 35 mikes each way and not 140 miles total? What time would you need to leave home? What about snow, ice, wind, rain, not feeling well, DH not feeling well?
No, No and 3 times No, don't do it.
Give her the money you would have spent on petrol and keep your job.

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I've more or less done it for my DGS although I have him 6 days a week. I also work from home so fit that around him as much as I can.

They are little for such a short period of time. In the blink of an eye he'll be at school and not want to be with his granny as much. Make the most of him!

(I know the distance is great, but it's only 1 day a week.)

I should add, went from a full-time, face-to-face job to working from home specifically so I can look after him.

retire if YOU want to, don't retire if you don't. Offer childcare if YOU want to...don't if you don't. Is it 70 miles each way or 35 there and 35 back...driving 140 miles in a day with childcare as well will be a hell of a day....and how will she manage if you are ill or injured or the car breaks down? Me, I wouldn't do it.

A work colleague was told by her daughter to retire so that she could go back to work while mother looked after the children. My colleague had severe financial problems at the time and giving up work was not an option.

I would not do it, I will be 65 soon, and I would not drive 70 miles to do it.
I collect my Grandson once a week 8 miles from home. I consider that enough, I will also help out.
Once you reach 65 you only have a year to go before you get your state pension. Also if you are like me you get a occupational pension you need to build that up.
If you like work do not give it up to do childcare 70 miles away. Sorry but I am surprised your daughter was even hoping that, she should have proper childcare arrangements in place.

I filled the gaps around my daughter and Sil’s shifts for years and looked after my grandchildren 2-3 times a week. I was happy to do it and we have a lovely close relationship now.

I think the 70 mile drive could be problematic. I live just 12 miles from my daughter and even that wasn’t without its problems in wintry weather. You’d need an overnight stay. Do they have room for you and have you the time to commit to it eating into 2 days? A 70 mile drive after a busy day with a baby/toddler would be exhausting. Your babysitting could start off as a pleasure and turn into a chore.

Could you stay overnight if the journey is too onerous? I looked after my grandson two days a week til his mum went on maternity leave with grandson2. It was very tiring and I stay five minutes drive from them. However I loved being with him too! We have such a great relationship as he's used to me being in his life. I retired early and it was right for me. Do you want to keep working?

Like others have said 70 miles is a long way, would you be staying over? surely not contemplating doing that journey the other way after a day of childminding. On the positives a great opportunity to spend some one to one with grandchild, but you do need to think how the travelling would impact on you.

I do a 70 mile round trip once sometimes twice a week to look after my DGS and I love it. I'm 70 and he's 1. I fit it around a 20 hour working week and I am very lucky to have flexibilty of when I work BUT I never look after him for more than 3 hours. I just basically sit on the floor and play anything he wants and give him lunch. I know any longer would be too much especially with a drive back possibly in the dark. Please bear in mind too that as he reaches 2 to 3 years old he will get more active, determined and heavy. I remember from my other GS, how painful I found my hands after a day of lifting in and out of pushchairs and high chairs etc. and I was 14 years younger then!

Having said that I do feel honoured to have this bonding time with him, he is adorable.

Mrs Birdie, ofcourse you must try to help, but being 70 miles away , it's going to be rather difficult. Will you be staying over? If you can afford to retire, do it.
I was in a sort of similar position when my youngest son had his first baby 7 years ago. At that time I was already doing school runs for my daughter's two children 2 to 3 times a week. Both parents were in full time jobs. So I had to politely refuse to take on any more regular childcare. I offered to 'help out' with babysitting , which I still do. I think they understood my position (well, I hope so). There's no hard feelings.

We drive half that distance two days a week. I the past we looked after more local DGC on two other days. I have loved being involved but it was, (still is!) hard work. Not so much the childcare but the 10/12 hour days. We had to wait for a parent to get home and then drive back on busy often slow moving roads. Our first DGC is now 11 so we have been doing this for 10 years and won't finish until September 2024 when the youngest goes to school.

Our youngest sons are still single but I doubt if I will be able to offer the same level of help for their families when/if they have children. Would I drive 70 miles to do it? Probably not.

I do agree with Gago Jo that adorable full of wonder age is gone in a nano second I miss it, but it's tiring. Have to say I'd hate the drive though, short journeys for me. I'm afraid that would be the fly in the ointment. Only you can know whether it would be too much.

I agree TerriBull. It IS hard work. Exhausting sometimes, particularly when I'm teaching online and DGS is in the background being demanding.

But I saw how GP in China care for their DGC while the parents work and I also saw the amazing bonds they have with their GC and resolved to emulate it if I was lucky enough to have a GC. And now I do. And it's wonderful mostly.

Do you feel ready to retire? And are you happy to do the childcare?

And if so to both, could you stay the night?
At 68 I did one day a week for the first grandchild, 60 miles away, but always stayed the night before, otherwise I’d have had to leave at around 6 am, to allow for rush hour traffic.
Just too knackering.

I did this (actually, retired for another reason, but the 2 largely co-incided) and we hve decent pensions.
It's an 80 mile round trip - the 40 miles there takes about an hour (but see below)

I began this 10 years ago, and for the last 9 we have done it as a couple. That began because we all wanted to do that, but for about the last 4 years it has been a necessity as my arthritis won't permit quick physical reactions.
The youngest GC is now 3.

I take it that the drive is 70 miles each way, which is quite a lot, so you need to consider that (and traffic). With that journey I would think:
Do you want to stay over? 2 nights eat into your week, but can be very pleasant for everyone. We sometimes take then opportinity to visit friends who live about halfway.

If you are driving in the morning, what is the back-up plan if you get held up? We allow an extra half-hour, but have occasionally been caught badly.

What are the general relationships like and how much do you get together anyway? I'm very glad that we have a relationship that doesn't rely on hard-pressed parents finding time at weekends.

May i ask where the child goes the other 4 days a week?

Many parents have this arrangement so the gp spends time with the gc, so it is for the gp's benefit, not the child

What are the circumstances around this specific situation?

As for retiring, it is a huge decision that you should make because it fits your life long term.

Do you like your job?
Are you financially secure to retire now?
What would you do the other 4 days a week?
What would happen if this 1 day a week doesnt work and she asks you to stop it?

70 miles is also a lot (although living in the US, some people do this for daily commute so it is a minor factor)

I think you need to find out exactly how your DD thinks it is all going to work out. You are younger than me and I reckon at your age I could have done the run but it is a huge commitment along with caring for a small child who will soon be everywhere. Yes five years soon shoot by but you could then find yourself with a smaller pension than you hoped for and a fully occupied at school GC. Just reread you are working four days could you ask DD for a trial run on the other day to see how it goes.

Sorry, but I think it's a bit much to expect for anyone to drive 70 miles to do childcare. Surely this was all considered by the mother before she had the baby, as in who would care for the child while she was at work? What happens when the wee one goes to nursery and school. I think it's a helluva an ask and I wouldn't do it. Apart from anything else I have health issues and just wouldn't be able. If you are giving up your own income to do childcare, then I think you should be paid, given the price of petrol. What happens when a babysitter is needed for nights out etc, are you going to drive 70 miles each time? What happens if you take ill? Im sorry if I sound harsh, but to my mind this is fraught with pitfalls.

Hi. Yes I would do it if there were no other options. Could your daughter drop him at yours, then you could take him home, or visa a versa whichever suits. If not then I would stay over, especially in bad weather.
She also needs to have a back up plan in case your ill, or the weather is too bad to drive. Good luck.