Retire to care for 1yr old?

I don’t enjoy driving enough to do a 140 mile round trip a day a week!
I happily went to DS and DDIL’s by train (4 - 5 hours journey door to door) for a weekend baby sitting or for the summer holidays etc when nursery was closed as well as school. That was several years ago now and I would really struggle to do it now especially as I have heart failure.
They know they’re very welcome to bring the DGCs down here any time if necessary and obviously I would do my best if I had to go to them in an emergency.
Committing to what you’re being asked to do is a very big ask, not to mention the costs involved.

Don't do it!

To be honest I think it should be on the basis of " if YOU want to and not if you feel you HAVE to"!
My daughter is a 35 mile drive away and I'm happy to stay over on the odd occasion I'm asked to babysit.. Now is the time to think of you and you may well like and enjoy your job, you're number 1. remember that.

I wouldn't reject it out of hand. Is there any way you could cut down your hours rather than retiring totally? If you cut down to 2.5 days it may well be possible to recruit someone on a jobshare basis to start with, & if that goes well there is a prospect of a near full time job for them when you retire in a couple years' time.It would be worth asking your manager & 2.5 days would allow for an overnight stay & you shouldn't be overwhelmed. 70 miles is a long way,but if you can avoid rush hour & you don't need to go through the worst traffic hotspots, may not be as bad as it sounds. You may have a little less pension,but you may also find it easier to ask your daughter to help you out in the future, if you have formed this extra bond with her family now.

I get a bit hacked off when an op doesn't come back to answer questions or respond in any way to the good advice that's been given. It's just rude. And I know they don't need to but still. Rude.

So much depends on your circumstances and your daughter's.
Is she a single mother or has she a partner to share the care of the baby?
Does she have other children?
Is she prepared to take the baby to you and collect him afterwards?
Why does she want to to get back to work? Does she need the extra income or want to get back to a important and satisfying job?
Are there any other relatives/friends who could take on some of the childcare? eg the other grandparents?
You own circumstances - you are coming up to 65. Have you a husband/partner who is perhaps older and needs support ?
I've known women of 65 who are caring for much older spouses and in some cases their own parents!
It's not possible to give a simple yes or no without kowing all the details. All I would advise is think carefully before you commit yourself.

I looked after my granddaughter two days a week for two years, the rest of the week she went to a child minder. I feel the time we spent together when she was very small was absolutely priceless and has given us a very strong, close bond now. My friend’s mother drove from Yorkshire to Cambridgeshire to look after her granddaughters one day a week for years. The rest of the time they were at a child minder. They also had a very close relationship. It’s not for everyone, but it’s a very rewarding thing to do if it’s at all possible.

I should add that I had to do a round trip of 20@ miles to look after my granddaughter by train usually

200 miles that should say

I was also working part time on other days and was very tired at the end of the week, but still used to love our days spent together

Thank you for your views. All very different as are all our families. To answer some questions. I lost my hubby 3 years ago. We have no other family as we were both only children, no other relatives. Her fiancé's family live very far away. I manage a small team and did flexi retirement to 4 days but increasingly don't want to do this any more. Not allowed to reduce hours. I can stay overnight when I go up there.

Just wondering. I had only one child in my late thirties, back in the day when that was unusual. My family were unavailable to help and husband family lived overseas, so we employed au pairs and finally a junior nanny straight out of college. Are these people no longer available?

I concentrated my work to 4 days a week, same workload but catching up in the evening an weekends. I worked at home a lot obviously, and still took the odd phone call when my grandson was with me. So I minded him one day a week and he usually stayed over. It was tiring at times, but those days were some of the most precious of my life. I did it when the next baby came along too. I have such a lovely relationship with the boys now (13 and 17). All the funny things they said, the little routines we had ........ lovely. It’s for such a short time too, and life goes so much faster when you’re getting old. Don’t retire until you are ready to do so, though, or you may regret it. Good luck.

GagaJo

I agree TerriBull. It IS hard work. Exhausting sometimes, particularly when I'm teaching online and DGS is in the background being demanding.

But I saw how GP in China care for their DGC while the parents work and I also saw the amazing bonds they have with their GC and resolved to emulate it if I was lucky enough to have a GC. And now I do. And it's wonderful mostly.

Doesn’t that impact the quality of your teaching? I recall the poor parents who struggled to wfh with young children around - no choice then but now, employers apparently expect childcare to be used.

6 days a week is a LOT of childcare but clearly you love it and it works well for you. It’s just combining it with teaching online that I find a puzzle

A friend is looking after her grandchild two days a week, 60+ miles away but the daughter didn't want her for two consecutive days where she would stay over so she has to do the journey twice a week and it's not an easy drive.

Abracadabra

GagaJo

I agree TerriBull. It IS hard work. Exhausting sometimes, particularly when I'm teaching online and DGS is in the background being demanding.

But I saw how GP in China care for their DGC while the parents work and I also saw the amazing bonds they have with their GC and resolved to emulate it if I was lucky enough to have a GC. And now I do. And it's wonderful mostly.

Doesn’t that impact the quality of your teaching? I recall the poor parents who struggled to wfh with young children around - no choice then but now, employers apparently expect childcare to be used.

6 days a week is a LOT of childcare but clearly you love it and it works well for you. It’s just combining it with teaching online that I find a puzzle

Most of my lessons are scheduled around his school and bedtimes. I teach mornings while he's in nursery and evenings once my daughter has come home from work.

I DO also teach some lessons when I have him, but as they are private students I let them know there may be disruptions. It is rare that the disruptions are bad, although there has been the occasional yell of 'I need a poo!' in the background.

Would be the easiest decision of my life. I wouldn't think twice before saying yes! This is my dream come true. You can always do the drive the evening before or stay the evening after and drive home the next morning unless that's not an option?