Retire to care for 1yr old?

70 miles there - and 70 miles back, at least 2 hours each way, What is that going to cost you in petrol, wear and tear, depreciation, tyres, and car repairs bill - and a 2 hour journey means you arrive at your daughters house, tired and frazzled and in no state to look after a small baby all day.

Pesonally, I wouldn't consider it - and what happens when a second child arrives? Work until you reach retirement age to maximise your pension. You haven't got long to go and, as they say. 'every little helps'.

Perhaps give your daughter the money you would otherwise have spent travelling to her house and back as a contribution to childcare costs.

If you can stay over the night before your 'duty' then that would make the driving less onerous. Think that's what I would do but wouldn't arrive until mid evening. Mind you, I would be disinclined to retire if I loved my job. Is reduced hours an option?

I was unsure about the journey length, is it 70 miles in total or each way. If its a total of 70 then not too bad apart from bad weather issues. As MOnica said the cost implications should not be overlooked, fuel prices are increasing all the time.
You need to think hard about this mrsbirdy It would be good to spend time with your grandchild and help your daughter but the journey will be tiring especially after a day with a toddler.

We drive 70 miles each way every Monday to look after our grandson.I drive there and my husband drives back.We get up at 4.30.

Our daughter and son in law are teachers so we have the school holidays off.

I am so glad we have done this as we have developed a lovely relationship with our grandson.

Time flies and they are at school before you know it.If you are fit and healthy I would say go for it.

I think posters have given you lots to think about OP, I wish you luck in making your decision.
The bit about bad weather made me smile - some years ago there was a heavy snowfall - it had been predicted so we left early, with provisions just in case. It took some tenacity, but it took us just half-an-hour longer than usual - which is the time we allow for delays so we arrived on time. As we got there, DiL said "My boss has just been on the phone telling me to take the day off. He's not coming in because he can't start his car". Now, we have known DiL's boss since he was a school friend of one of our children, and he lives within walking distance of the office!
So DiL rang him and said "Rose (and DH) have driven 40 miles through the snow to get here, so I'm going in". He slunk in 2 hours late, saying "I didn't dare stay away!"

A neighbour did a similar journey, she parked her car in the park and ride and took a coach to her daughters and did the same thing back in the evening.
The daughter paid for her parking and she wasn’t frazzled with the driving, but it was still a very long day, but she loved doing it.

I do a 55 mile drive about once a week and come back totally knackered. Today was one such trip and i had road closed with diversions. Don’t do it is my advice

DH retired to look after our GC, one, then two. He drove 15 miles a day though that went up when he the school run started.
DD paid him too.
I wouldn’t do it if it involved a 70 mile drive, because of petrol and wear and tear on me and the car, but there are some useful suggestions on here if you want to do it.

I’m afraid I’d just say no. I don’t think it’s a reasonable thing to ask of anyone on a regular weekly basis and I think it shows little consideration on the part of the daughter for her mother.

There is no way I would drive 70 miles to do my grandma bit! I would feel that was expecting far too much - would definitely be a NO from me!! Consider the implications of retiring and when you do retire it must be for your advantage not your daughters and should happen when you are ready for that change.
If you were to agree to one day a week childcare 70 miles away think of the winter months and the driving problems that brings. I know I sound harsh but IMO this is asking far too much. I recognise this is a personal choice and many people would not be daunted but I would be very stressed at the prospect. By all means do it if you really want to but say no if you have doubts, easier to say no now than pull out once the child care are has started.

I wouldn’t even consider it quite honestly. But lots of different opinions and suggestions from posters.

We live about 1.20 hrs drive on a good traffic day away from my now 2 Granddaughters. We are the emergency cover, when childminder is poorly etc
There is no way I would do it weekly.
As others have said it might be worth giving it a go, but at least ask for petrol money, you will be shattered by the time you get home.
But 70 miles on a bad traffic day will be a few hours one way.
Have a good think on some of the GN views, but it's a No from me.

No don`t do it, its a very tight commitment. You have to be there no matter what the driving conditions and potentially drive home tired and in the dark. Emergency cover from me was always given freely but I have never been taken advantage of and it was always greatly appreciated. It will be hard to back out once commited, just say no now, so that dd can make other arrangements

Do you want to retire? If you retire early, do you forfeit a chunk of your pension, can you afford that.
70 or 140 miles a day on most roads in England is a challenge. The roads are extremely busy. A 70 mile journey is likely to take 2 hours. A full day caring for an infant, then a long drive home. A friend does this, she often stays over to avoid the stress of the journey home. So two full days after which she’s tired.

There will also be emergencies, when the little one is poorly, can’t go to nursery, or mum is ill and needs some help.

Also, baby 2 often arrives not long after baby 1. If you have other children, there may be children arriving there. Don’t want to be a grump, we’ve done years of child care, it’s lovely to spend time with them and great to support our adult children. We need to look after ourselves as well

I wouldn’t do it. Like Hetty, I love them dearly, and am lucky to have them local, but have done my time.

I enjoyed every second of being a stay at home mum, but wouldn’t expect to capture every moment of the grandchildren.

I suppose it could depend on the journey, so type of roads etc. Is it 70 miles of motorway, or back roads? Still too far I think.

70 miles is a long drive. After looking after a 12 month old all day and then nèeding full concentration for the drive home. What time will you need to set off in a morning?

Someone suggested sleeping over, I would do that, at least by doing that, you are refreshed for your 70 mile drive back home.

As we age, the ability and stamina to look after little ones has diminished to what it was when we were younger....

Whichever way you decide, all the best.

Is OP going to come back and say more about the type and length of drive, whether she intends staying over, whether more grandchildren might come along which her daughter hopes she will look after even though she isn’t getting any younger, whether she really wants to, or can afford to, retire etc - all the things posters have questioned?

I gave up a not very good part time job at 69 to look after two of my grandchildren - - but I lived opposite them and fell out of bed at 7.30 am and across the road to do the breakfast and school run. Same at night with tea and homework and I treasure those times now as my relationship with both now teenage grandchildren is close and loving BUT i would not have driven the distance required in this post. There are days when they are grumpy, tired and just sometimes a handful and I found tiredness and lack of stamina to be a problem. If I could not have just walked over the road to my own peaceful home at the end of the day I would not have done it so happily.

I have previously offered regular childcare for grandchildren who are local and still do a couple of school pick ups a week. I now have another younger grandchild who lives further away - a lot less miles than you are considering but an hour or more each way in rush hour. I did not feel able to commit to regular child care but instead decided to give a contribution to nursery cost each month is boosted by 20% in their tax free child care account so covers half a day week. I also offered to cover holidays for other gran who is more local and is offering 2 days a week care, nursery closures (during covid) and child's illness. This has worked well so far. I have done 5 days in the last 6 months and have 4 days booked in for holiday cover. I would not have felt able or been willing to commit to a 70 mile round trip to provide care.

I think I would only agree to the 70 mile drive if I only had to do it one way each day, such as on a Friday when I could drive up and stay over Friday night then return home Saturday.
Would have the bonus of being there on a Friday night so DD and SiL could have a date night!

Yes! Retire if you can anyway. Enjoy your life. Can you stay the night before at your daughter's house? Then recover the next day when you're home. Still plenty of time left to enjoy your own things.

No l wouldn't give up my job 70 miles is,a long way. Others have said about bad weather not feeling well etc. The child will be going to free day care at the age of three. You'll be 'redundant' then. I'm looking after my grandchild and working part time. It's exhausting and l'll be glad when it's time for them to go to nursery. Keep your job and the adult conversation that goes with it

I'd be wary of committing to this. On your own, in bad weather or dark evenings it could be no joke.
I'll be 67 in July and have found over the last year or two that my eyesight for driving and my stamina have reduced considerably.
I know we're all different, but if you find the first few months ok and then struggle increasingly to keep it going, that could be more difficult than just saying no to start with.
Offering to help pay for a childminder would probably cost you less than the fuel, wear and tear on the car, and reduction in pension.
You could offer to go some Friday/Saturdays when you're off, stay over and let your daughter ( & partner?) have a night out and/or help with specific tasks. You could make that a fairly regular thing.
On the other hand, if you feel fit and able, don't mind driving in snow or in the dark, wouldn't mind if it extended to two children..... and were thinking of retiring anyway - it might suit you to do this.
The fact you are asking GNs suggests you are unsure of committing to this. You don't want to end up doing it but being really stressed/tired and not wanting to let your daughter down so carrying on to your detriment.
I assume your working hours/days couldn't be amended to facilitate this without retiring?
All the best whatever you decide.

That drive in itself is a heck of a commitment! I wouldn't do it, but maybe do as someone already suggested contribute t paying for a local childminder.
I've been lucky, both DDs took their children to childminders/nurseries, but knew I was there in an emergency or school holidays.

Hello there.
I'm mid 50s and not working and I will be looking after My grabdchild one day a week however My Daughter will be dropping off although they only live 3 miles away and I dont Drive .I'm not sure that I would drive 70 miles even if I could ...it really is a huge commitment for You I feel....