9 o’clock birthday invitation!

CleoPanda

The OP did not appear to me to be making any kind of fuss or even asking for advice on whether to go. All this other “implied” rubbish makes no sense.
She was clearly asking for opinions on today’s often totally child centred obsession.
As others have commented, a child who is totally cosseted and protected against any kind of disruption can grow up thinking they are the centre of the universe …to their detriment.
Or not… who knows.
It seems to me to be inconsiderate to anyone who has to travel and I wouldn’t be going as I’m terrible at early trips. That’s my opinion.
No idea what a 9am “party” for a 3 year old consists of these days. However if there is any sugar involved there won’t be any children napping!

But the OP did not give any examples of the cosseting and protecting. She just complained about it and wittered on about how difficult 0900 was for someone living an hour and a quarter away.

I'd love to know what "curling parents" means.

And of course a three year old's birthday party is "all about the child". Who else would it be about?

It sertainly wouldn't be about the OP or her opinions about child rearing.

How many 3 year old still nap during the day? Is the child up early at 5 am and goes for a nap mid morning. Usually for a birthday normal routines are abandoned for children. A party at 9 am, goodness, think I would either be visiting the day before or leaving it until later in the day when situation could be quieter.

I don't think that getting up early on one morning to join in a child's birthday party would be such a big deal, unless you have health or mobility problems. The world does tend to revolve around children much more that it did when we were young, but we partook in very few social events, compared to the present day.
To put it in perspective I am going to Australia to celebrate my Grandson's 2nd birthday. It involves a 7 hour and 11 hour flight. Our 'stopover in Dubai has also been changed from 2 hours to 8 hours. A daunting journey, especially at my age, but it will be worth every dreary moment when I get my first hug.

Greengran
Offtopic: Dubai airport is amazing! If you have an 8 hour layover, that is the best airport to have it

I've gone through the same thing .

Everything has to be geared around my grandchildrens' nap time .

I've found my children really nervous and tense about their childrens' regimes .

I was far more relaxed .

Would you get somewhere for 9am if it was for work?
If so, you have answered your own question.

My kids are up by 5.30 am max, including weekends.

A 9 am, they have had breakfast and a snack so a social engagement is perfect for that timeline, they would be asking us to do some activity by then

3 year olds still take naps in daycares here

As a parents, I would not be changing my kids' routines for the convenience of an adult - after all, that adult goes home happily and the parents have to deal with the consequences

Count yourself lucky to be invited to a grandchild's birthday. Not all grandparents are!?

Could the reaction of the OP be a reflection of the relationship with the host/hostess?

For me, after the last couple of years and health issues within our family, opportunities to all be together to celebrate something nice are far and few between and I would make the effort.
But I am not you, so ask youself, "Do I want to be part of the celebration" If the answer is yes I wonder could you stay overnight somewhere to avoid a long journey. If you decide not to, then I'm sure a 3 yr old won't mind.

No no no No.

That’s much too early for a birthday party.
What are they thinking of.

If I were you I would decline the invitation.

I do think nine o’clock in the morning is a very early hour and would be inconvenient for many, especially people who don’t live nearby. It is not just the travelling time. There is getting, washed, dressed, eating and drinking something before travelling and so on. Some people may be used to getting up very early but it could be very demanding for some, especially older relatives who may not be very well. Everyone has a routine. But this obviously fits well into the child/parents routine and they are the party givers. If I was going to go an hour late, I would probably explain beforehand that it was a little difficult for me to get there for nine and would this be OK as I would really love to see them and the little one. I would hope they would not be annoyed but would understand. Love and care should go both ways in families. From you to them and from them to you. That is the best thing for everybody.

Hithere. Yes, Dubai airport is beautiful, but I dread the thought of such a long gap between flights. We are going to book into the lounge, where we can get something to eat and a comfortable place to sit. Instead of arriving in Perth at a comfortable time we will be landing around midnight. Not a good time for any of us, but I hope to survive the experience. Only a 2 hour layover coming back on my own, thank heavens.

I think if it is occasion that you would happily want to go to if it was at a more conventional time and / or you had less travelling time to factor in, then perhaps do go even it it means travelling down the previous day and staying in an Airbnb? In my experience working with new mums and mums with young children, sleep issues have become a major issue for many rightly or wrongly, as there seems to be pressure to aim for "sleeping through" at night - which when that isn't happening leads to rigid sleep training including scheduled daytime naps. If the schedule is "broken" then an anxious mum will blame herself and add to what may already be considerable post-natal anxiety. Children aged 3-4 are lockdown babies and they and their mums have often found that social isolation very difficult and there honestly are ongoing maternal anxiety issues for many mums of little ones of this age group - whether the mum has made that common knowledge or not. So I think "Project children" as you name it, may well be very different now as families come out of lockdown etc etc.

I am Danish too, and I don't understand your reaction at all, as since the 1970s breakfast invitations to adults' birthdays have been quite common so that people could get to work on time.

I have been to many birthday breakfasts at 7 in the morning, so we could all get to work by 8.

I can however agree that project children as you call it has some peculiar dimensions these days, but this is hardly the best example you could find.

What is most important to you? Celebrating your grandchild's birthday? Or staying at home because leaving home at quarter past seven does not suit you for some reason?

Parents if little children can crazy - but it’s their Party so I’d go ! Get there a little later if you feel you must…

This does seem over the top - surely it won't hurt for the child's napping routine to be missed on their birthday? I know somebody who has this type of approach to bringing up their children - they work out the time it will take for any journey and whether it is possible to do the journey to fit in with nap times. I certainly did not take this approach when my children were younger (they are 29, 18 and 16 now), our lives were not totally dictated by routines and they have all turned out perfectly well adjusted adults/young adults.

Project Children!! You’ve gotta laugh….
everybody ‘put out’ because the napping needs of a child! I was the youngest of 6 kids ….. by the time I showed up my mum had three part time jobs, and spent her life running around like a headless chicken! By the time evening came she could barely remember the youngest two’s names!!
I do wonder what these precious little darlings will grow into. Definitely not independent ,industrious
and balanced individuals like me and my five siblings are.

I would simply say it would be lovely to come and what room will you be staying in the night before so that you are there for the right time!! I do agree that it is not good for a child to think they are the centre of the universe, but this seems to be coming more from the parents. As a mother of a child who just never needed any sleep and thought 5am was fine to get up , I know how hard it is to look after overtired ratty grizzly child so see the point of having a morning party, but they should also be thinking of the wider family so that either they are suggesting you stay over night before, as it is a distance or they could book you into a b and b or if not perhaps organise another little get together for the older members of the family to coincide with the after nap time. But what I would not do would be to make a superhuman effort and wreck your own sleeping patterns etc to do this long drive and probably be too tired to enjoy it much!! It might be a shame to miss this birthday but hopefully there will be many more to come and opportunities to organise perhaps an outing half way between you both. But basically I do agree with you that a child is very important in a family but they are PART of the family not the centre lynch pin and I do not think the parents are giving them helpful ideas of how life works. Learning to give and take and be part of a group and considering others are very important lessons to learn and they will have a happier life the earlier they learn this, and I speak as a mother, grandmother, teacher and volunteer with many childrens things such as brownies etc.

Baggs

*Totally ridiculous who has a party at 9 am in the morning*

Nah. You obviously never went to champagne breakfasts on May morning in towns where there are thriving student Scottish Country Dance clubs. You start dancing at 0600. Breakfast comes after.

0900 is the middle of the day then ??

Indeed.
And it may be that the child normally wakes very early and 9am is the middle of the day for them too.

Maybe child-rearing panders too much to the child, in some cases, but I don't think the timing of this party is a big deal.

Breakfast/brunch parties are often a good idea I think, especially for early rising children. I wonder if they'd made it post-sleep starting at say five, whether the OP would then complain about getting back too late? A child who consistently needs a daytime sleep is likely to behave badly without it, which also sounds like it might prompt criticism?? Go with the flow is my advice, why does it matter so much? Yes. child-centred parenting can grate on those without children or grandchildren of the same age, but frankly i doubt that will concern the parents as much as feeling they are doing their best for their child does. It makes me think of many of the younger people I know who didn't invite any children to their weddings. Come a couple of years later and those same people were outraged that their precious newly hatched bundles weren't invited to similar occasions. Perhaps you'll be more giving to the world revolving around your own blood-related grandchildren, if you are lucky enough to have any? Neglect would concern me much more than focussing on giving a tiny tot of three a birthday party they will be in a state to enjoy.

"Napping is when your horse is reluctant or refuses to move in the direction you want to go. It can manifest itself in several ways, including spinning around, rearing, bucking and feeling as though he is leaning or hanging towards home. Ears are the giveaway."

Well, I didn't know that,

The OP did not appear to me to be making any kind of fuss or even asking for advice on whether to go. All this other “implied” rubbish makes no sense.

Exactly!