Unwanted gifts - advise needed

I dont have any children or grandchildren so no one suffers from my ill advised gifts.

In real life I am a "rip the bandage off quickly" sort of person - like MY grandmother before me. She always used to tell it like it was and get it over with, I can recell a long conversation in which she told me I was a "plain girl" in comparison to my sister. However she then went on to qualify it by how plain girls can make the best of themselves.

In these circumstances I would go for the "send a photo" in the inappropriate clothes and then send them to the charity shop. Rather this than hurt two older ladies who are not of the "tell it like it is" variety. You dont want any more on your plate just after you have given birth.

There will be many hard up mums who will probably be glad of them.

First of all congrats! Secondly I feel your pain, a new baby stirs up all sorts of excitement, particularly in expectant grandparents. My suggestion to both grandmothers would be, to tell them with clothes from so many people, you're concerned the baby will outgrow most before they've had chance to wear them. I suggest steering them down the road of baby essentials like nappies, talc etc or maybe open a bank account and suggest that money is deposited towards larger items you need to buy. I hope that helps. I personally have bought only 2 items of clothing for my granddaughters, and give money for birthday/Christmas.

Congratulations. My time was different you had to take what you were given even though I didn’t like —hated— most of what we were given.
But your generation is different and it’s so very wasteful to buy all these gifts only to be given away.
I would just say that you have all the baby clothes you could need already, please don’t buy anything as it’s bad for the environment, and if you do want to buy something special toys/equipment let me and I’ll send a list in your budget.

I think I would say that you have so many clothes and already so please the baby cannot use all of them, hope they are not offended but it’s no good having double and you hate waste as they are all so nice. If baby needs anything in the future would they mind running it by you first. . I hate to hurt peoples feelings so always got the long way round everything whereas a ripping the bandage approach is possibly better, I can’t do it, so lovely having these excited and eager grandparents tgere for you, congratulations its such a happy time.

Send them a list of items that you Do need along with the store they can go to to get them.
I would be honest with them, tell them you have more than enough clothes for the baby.

Your baby will be their Grandchild for many years, if you don’t tell them now you will have this problem for a very, very long time.

You could suggest, when they do visit, that you go shopping together and you pick out the clothes you like for the baby if they are so intent on spending on clothes etc.

Politely mention that there is no point in having masses of clothes as babies grow so fast she might hardly ever wear most of them.

When my first GC was due I offered to buy one large item, cot/pram/travel system etc. which was most welcomed by the new parents actually. I knitted small matinee garments too. I did this with both AC.

When our Grandaughter was born we bought her some nice dresses and things from Next...when we gave them to new baby....we were told later by text by our DIL..." why the hell would you ever think I would put "that rubbish"on my daughter its horrible...take it back today.....needless to say we have never bought our Grandaughter anything since, not even toys as we get the same reaction....money it is now or vouchers from the daughter in laws chosen place.......

tobyandsocks

When our Grandaughter was born we bought her some nice dresses and things from Next...when we gave them to new baby....we were told later by text by our DIL..." why the hell would you ever think I would put "that rubbish"on my daughter its horrible...take it back today.....needless to say we have never bought our Grandaughter anything since, not even toys as we get the same reaction....money it is now or vouchers from the daughter in laws chosen place.......

She sounds a peach, what happened to manners? Next clothes are very nice, maybe not to her taste, she could have relayed this in a much better way.
The OP is approaching this in a much better way, I think telling them that you have so much now and it is difficult to store is the best solution.

I think that you are going to have to do a combination of both. Tell them truthfully that you have far too many clothes for one baby and it would be best to hold off further purchases until you identify something that is needed. However this will probably only slightly dent their enthusiasm. In that case all you can do is be polite and pass it on. My own mother was a bargain hunter, I eventually had to ask her to stop buying clothes for the GC as a bargain is still a waste of money if it's not needed or wanted. Things will quieten down eventually.

I agree , the best solution is to be honest . Tell them you appreciate their kindness but please no clothes ! Say your baby will grow so quickly that they will never be worn . Make a suggestion of what would be a more appropriate gift. This could be an ongoing problem if you don’t nip it in the bud! If you endeavours don’t work , store them for a very short period and head for your nearest charity shop .They will be snapped up quickly and put to very good use . Whatever happens please don’t allow this situation to cause you great anxiety- I recognise it troubles you but in the grand scheme of things it really isn’t that big a deal. If unwanted clothes arrive , smile , accept in the secret knowledge you will be passing them quickly onto a good homes. Congratulations on the happy news , take it easy and don’t allow this to cloud your happiness, Good luck - stay cool !

Agree with all the above.
Fortunately neither grandmothers bought many clothes for my son either before or after he was born. My mum knitted him bootees and mittens which he never got to wear as he had very long fingers and feet!

Same as above from me really - send a photo of baby wearing an outfit each sent when you can along with a thank you. Make it clear that the baby has plenty of clothes now and will grow, so maybe they could put the money they would have spent on baby clothes into a 'for the future' pot?

We did the same as Pollydolly - paid for one large item, chosen by the parents and a couple of handknits when the GC were born. Now I take the GC to a shop and let them choose an item for themselves within a budget. I guess the next stage will be giving them money!

I’ve had this with both my daughters, and their MIL’s. Of course, they’re just excited, understandably, but it does need reigning in before someone explodes!

There’s nothing wrong with just telling them. I was told before my grandchildren were born, please mum....not loads of clothes. We like to pick them ourselves. Also, they’ll outgrow them amazingly quickly at the beginning. You actually might find you need them!!

Congratulations by the way.

When my friend was pregnant she just told everyone not to buy pink or blue or anything girly .I sent a box of neutral tops and joggers and white things with just one tartan dress included .They were a Scots/Canadian family .She was delighted .By the time their daughter was 3 she was pink and purple mad and by 4even her room was pink .
With the best will in the world they'll have their own idea of what they want to wear as soon as they can speak
Just tell them what you dont want before you're under a mountain of things you might feel obliged to keep and wear once for a photo for granny.....thatswhat I did .lol

When my granddaughter was due we bought a good quality pram/pushchair and a car seat, obviously after discussing choices with my daughter and her partner.
My grandson is currently using both and I have now bought the snack tray for the pushchair, again something they said they'd like.

I purposely didn't buy clothes as I knew they'd be given plenty. My mother-in-law used to swamp me with her taste in dresses for my daughter, which I grew to dread. Horrendous frilly creations that took me twenty minutes to iron ?

I really think it's such a shame that young parents are expected to pretend to gratefully receive gifts they don't want, need or even like, just because buying them is what the grandparents want to do.

Huge congratulations to you ABC12 and I hope you can rein both grandmas over-enthusiasm in a bit ?

With the best will in the world they'll have their own idea of what they want to wear as soon as they can speak

Ain't that the truth paddyann54 ??

Thank you so much for all the advice, so much appreciated ?

Money, money, money towards what the child needs . I never buy clothes for the grandchildren - bought one once, never saw GC wearing it ?
Congratulations ABC12 !

personally, I would keep quiet and pass them on to the charity shop

personally, I would keep quiet and pass them on to the charity shop

Agreed. Either that or donate them to a refuge where baby and children's clothes are desperately needed, by those who have so little; no matter what colour or fashion they are.

Like another poster I can recall a time when new mums were grateful for what they were given - even hand me downs. There was little money in the early 1950s and not the same choice as there is now.

My grandmother opened a post office account for me and used to put a small sum in it each month. That (opening an account of some sort or buying a BIG item) are excellent suggestions and leave the new parents free to make their own choices.

I am not a grandmother

I would advise you to set boundaries now with both sets of grandparents.

Being overexcited is no reason to over buy clothes for your baby

If you have not done so yet, you should talk to your mother about this and set limits - "I appreciate the intention, so to be able to use those gifts, I can set a wish list and you pick. Anything that is not in that list will be donated"

You could even set up an account for your child so instead of material things, money goes for her

Your husband should do the same with his parents.

If any of the grandparents complain, you have a bigger issue in your hands - baby rabies is no joke and requires a spine of steel to contain it

Now it is clothes. When she grows up, it will be toys, cellphones, tablets, etc.

Take care of this now or it will snowball fast

My daughter has been adamant from the beginning that I am not to buy her children clothes and I do her bidding. She made the same request/demand from my counterpart who doesn't. Consequently, my daughter gets upset with her MIL every birthday, Christmas, etc. Personally, I would like my daughter to be less controlling but that is a bit like wishing for sunshine everyday in the UK...it would be pointless. So, I roll with it and buy what she allows me to if I want to.
I wasn't like this with my mother or MIL who knitted my child the most awful stuff in terrible colours. I just used to dress my children in their stuff on the day they were around and bought what I wanted for when they weren't. Quite frankly, life is too short worrying about items of clothing when you can spread a bit of happiness to the Grandparents and then help those in need with good clothing. You'll have plenty to worry about when it comes to other areas of your life once you've got a child without worrying about the little things. That said, I can understand you wanting to limit things so requests for specific items might help that.
Congratulations on your wonderful news.

Two of my children kindly informed me that they didn’t want their newborn daughters to be dressed in stereotypical ‘pink unicorn’ fashions. I dutifully bought them the recommended coloured clothes, e.g. beige, grey, which were gratefully received.

Now the girls are 7 and nearly 4 and they can articulate what they like for themselves, so their parents are now accommodating their wishes. Still atypical for one and tending towards pink plus unicorns for the other. ?