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Grandparenting

Granny in the corner

(155 Posts)
MawtheMerrier Tue 17-Jan-23 12:06:20

This is not a TAAT - but prompted by a thread about Christmas and reminded me of the “granny in the corner” experience.
I know many of you are incredibly active and play a pivotal part on the lives of your AC and DGC so I may be guilty of generalising.
But doesn’t there come a point where we cross over from providing all sorts of support to being “granny in the corner”.
However kind, inclusive welcoming our AC are, there’s a shift.
Sometimes I feel I am being unreasonable and want it “every which way” - to be needed, to be felt capable of taking over in an emergency, of going the extra mile in being there but then I find myself thinking Hang on, I’m 75, I haven’t got the energy or fitness I had and also, I have a life of my own, friends and activities which I can’t just drop at a moments notice to babysit (except in an emergency)
On re-reading that it does indeed sound very unreasonable!
But from being central to our family life when they were babies and young, I feel myself drifting outwards to that “corner” ! Being widowed doesn’t help because I have to form a social life of my own and perhaps (?) I am getting more set in my ways. I have friends who seem to “live through” their AC and GC , good luck to them, but IMO that way sadness lies because the little ones grow into big ones and while they may love and tolerate Granny, we are not central to their lives.
Sorry to go on, and if you have been, thanks for reading!

MissMellie Sun 22-Jan-23 10:50:53

I’m currently in the middle of a two week session of caring for my 10 month old and almost 4 year old GS’s.

I’m 59 with RA and limited mobility/ use of my hands and wrists. My husband has been ill during their visit so care has fallen to me.

When the little one became sick a few days ago I was overwhelmed with lack of sleep and also trying to tend him and handle his older brother’s active play and constant questions.

Honestly, I would have loved being granny in the corner for a few days then! But, no, I don’t think as long as I am able, my AC or GC will see me that way. I always have activities and special crafts ready to hand. I’m the one who pulls family meals and visits together.

I’m sure one day another will take over but for now I’m granny on the move. 😊

Norah Sun 22-Jan-23 13:58:33

MawtheMerrier, from the picture meme posted "grannies are the only grown-ups who have time for you"

True.

With 16 GC and GGC from ages about 40 years old to a few months, listening is the best gift we have to offer them, so we do.

SCRC Tue 24-Jan-23 12:17:39

I totally agree with everything you said .. you expressed it beautifully…

Grannydream Sat 29-Jul-23 01:43:27

Beautiful message Lexisgranny! You sound like a writer!