Missing grandaughter so much

No impact to GP, that's just a distraction to the real matter.

14:36 ditto

But the law is very difficult to enforce when it comes to one parent being denied contact by the other Hithere. What's the parent whose told they can't see their child supposed to do?

Go back to court if they can afford too time and time again because whether you choose to accept it or not, that does happen. Mediation isn't free and is only possible if both parties are in agreement.

If a parent is denying contact out of spite/revenge/just to be awkward, are they likely to agree to go to mediation?

I don't think that anyone including the OP is suggesting that the father's financial support isn't important Norah. What's being discussed is the mother stopping contact between their D and her father.

The main concern is a little girl not being allowed to see her father and her father being prevented from seeing his D. The impact on the GP is secondary but that doesn't mean there isn't any.

Any GP whose had regular contact with their GC and then has that taken away for whatever reason will be affected. Any parent who sees their AC being denied contact with their child is going to be impacted by the effect that has on him/her.

You'd have to be pretty hard hearted not to be affected at all.

A court order, restraining order, will, any kind of legal document is the agreement by law where both parties stand

If a person does not follow it, there is a reason and standards to go back to court and report the infraction

If an agreement is verbal and parties do not agree on same terms, it may become a "he said she said"
We all know how hard is to enforce verbal agreements
Unless a party can heavily provide proof of their side (even then), it just tends to default to what is established by law

If a party or both refuses to involve the law for whatever reason, quarreling is guaranteed for a long time
The child loses in this scenario

Countries have laws for a reason - refusing to know and exercise your rights and set up your own agreement is anarchy

"If a parent is denying contact out of spite/revenge/just to be awkward, are they likely to agree to go to mediation?"
No, probably not an agreement, a guardian may be appointed on the interest of the child

Any GP whose had regular contact with their GC and then has that taken away for whatever reason will be affected.

It seems to me, in the wider picture, 2 weeks is decidedly not an impact to a GP as far as interacting with GC. The important thing, to me, is ensuring GC mum has the finances in place to provide support to said GC.

What I'd think if my daughter were being financially wronged.

Hithere

However, it is the law that sets up what rights each parent has, not the father or mother alone

The parents rights are not enshrined in law when it comes to access and residency, it is the rights of the child that are focussed upon.

It costs money to go back to court Hithere, and if you had any experience of court awarded custody or access battles you would know that without the cooperation of all involved parties, these are difficult to enforce.

I'm not talking about verbal agreements made between the parents, I'm talking about rulings about custody and access made by the courts.

As a family solicitor my brother would have at times been tearing his hair out (if he'd had any left) at the sheer frustration on behalf of his client, the parent being denied contact and when his client was the parent denying access.

He would point out that they were not following the court order, and be given a shoulder shrug in response as they as well as he knew, that the only recourse was for them to be taken back to court.

A parent does not have the legal right to prevent the other parent from having contact with their child because they are behind with or not paying any child support.

They are breaking the law if they do so.

Again, misreading what I wrote - have a nice day!

If I had a D who I believed was being financially wronged, I would not support her decision to stop her child from having contact with their father Norah.

As icanhandthemback rightly says, it's the rights of the child that take precedence in the eyes of the law, not the rights of the parent(s).

I don't think I've misread what you've written Hithere. If I have then show me where.

I understood Hithere

Well if Hithere shows me where she thinks I've misread what she's written, I might understand too.

Smileless2012

If I had a D who I believed was being financially wronged, I would not support her decision to stop her child from having contact with their father Norah.

As icanhandthemback rightly says, it's the rights of the child that take precedence in the eyes of the law, not the rights of the parent(s).

I'll re-write so it is totally clear.

I said The important thing, to me, is ensuring GC mum has the finances in place to provide support to said GC.

What I'd think if my daughter were being financially wronged.

We'd pay, she'd have funds to court or mediation. We'd not knowingly put up with our children being financially wronged by their children's dad. We'd make a stand - put money from where we speak. Believers in courts.

I read £7 per week if unemployed, so pay that, don't slack. And get a job, nothing (legal) is beneath you, to support your child.

Yes it was totally clear Norah, no need to rewrite or assume that because someone expresses a different point of view they don't understand what you're saying, or misreading.

I agree that nothing (legal) is beneath you, to support your child which includes facilitating contact for that child with their other parent, therefore supporting their emotional well being.

Smileless2012

Well if Hithere shows me where she thinks I've misread what she's written, I might understand too.

I hope you have a nice day too

So far so good VS.

What's your relationship like with her mom? You sound like a lovely nan who has a great bond with her.

Has your son been living in a bedsit for 5 years? So for 5 years you've been doing the pick ups and having her stay with you every weekend?

Is your son OK? Does he have a good relationship with her?

You don't mention his relationship with his daughter and how he's feeling?

Mom is obviously counting on that £200 per month. Kids aren't cheap especially with the cost of living atm.

If he's out of work, why is he only seeing her at a weekend? What's he doing the other 5 days?

Could he not do the school pick ups? After school tea? Have her a few hours after school? Make the most of being out of work and spend some time with her?

PoppyBlue

If he's out of work, why is he only seeing her at a weekend? What's he doing the other 5 days?

Could he not do the school pick ups? After school tea? Have her a few hours after school? Make the most of being out of work and spend some time with her?

Very valid points.

Clearly stated he's not got a job, what is he doing?

Slacking off on his child is poor form.

Maybe he' only been allowed to see her at the weekend. Why assume he's been slacking off? I'm not surprised Yvonne's not been back to this thread. There are some rather unpleasant assumptions being made about her son.

The OP doesn't say how long he's been out of work for; out of work for the moment suggests this is a recent development, as does him having missed a payment and not several.

Norah

PoppyBlue

If he's out of work, why is he only seeing her at a weekend? What's he doing the other 5 days?

Could he not do the school pick ups? After school tea? Have her a few hours after school? Make the most of being out of work and spend some time with her?

Very valid points.

Clearly stated he's not got a job, what is he doing?

Slacking off on his child is poor form.

Given the mother of the child won't let him see her at the weekend why on earth do you think she'd let him pick the child up or have her after school?

One minute he doesn't deserve to see his child because he's missed a payment or two, the next he's slacking off because he's not doing the school pickup when he's unemployed. He can't win whatever he does. How long has he been unemployed? I don't know but others clearly do.

There's something that doesn't add up.

After 5 years why is there no court order in place?
Why is he OK seeing his children 8 days a month?

Which is why I asked if he's OK? There might be other issues going on so it's hard to answer.
Nan seems to very hands on, which is great, she sounds lovely and 8 days a month for Grandparent visit seems fair.
But not for a Dad? You know?

'Given the mother of the child won't let him see her at the weekend why on earth do you think she'd let him pick the child up or have her after school?'

Yeah. Exactly my point.
After 5 years, why isn't he able to do school pick ups?
Why After 5 years isn't there a court order in place if he's recently out of work?

My husband would be dragging me to court for 50/50 access within a week if I made it difficult for him to see our children.
Let alone be happy with sharing his 2 days a week with his mom for 5 years.

That's why I asked if everything is OK?
If I was OP I'd strike up a relationship with her mom, send some shopping, my grandchilds favourite foods etc.

She seems like a lovely Nan and obviously has a wonderful relationship with her grandchild.

It doesn't seem like a 'normal' situation?