To betray or stay quiet

Given your latest update, OP, not sure it is a good idea to tell them then

If this was an older teen my advice may be different but a nine year old ? No I would pass the video along to don and say it came from grandson, you’re not sure what it is or if it somehow was sent to grand or possibly a look like scammer but you wanted him to know “just in case “ grandson had seen it. The internet is dangerous especially at that age and the parents need to know. The child’s safety comes first

If I was the parent, and my mother covered up something like this, I would be very angry indeed.

Just as Gaga says, just depends. If just rude but funny for an 8 year old- keep quiet. Otherwise, you have to pass it on + no comment.

Samcav
I don’t know how much experience you have on this issue but I have a lot. Believe me, you have no idea how bad it can get.
You don’t know who sent your grandson that video. You don’t know what they might be threatening him with if he doesn’t do what they say ( naked pictures)
They could be threatening to kill his parents if he doesn’t play ball. Yes, they do do that.
Then before you know it he’s meeting up with a creep from Grindr.
If this shocks or offends I’m not worried as I know what can/does happen.

What is this video about?

W/o that info, it is all speculations

I think you have to be straightforward with your grandson, explaining that the link he inadvertently sent you is not suitable for a young boy and that you need to tell his parents so that they can sort things out with him. Tell him it would be wrong for you to ignore it (I think he probably knows this), and keep it from his parents. Let him know it doesn’t affect your feelings for him.

Then you will have to face the response you fear you’ll get from his parents, but in my opinion you will have done the right thing.

This is a NINE year old child apparently watching seriously inappropriate arterial. That is highly damaging to a young child. That fact trumps ANYTHING in terms of possible responses consequences. The child and his mental health and well being is the priority here. Tell his parents and say that you havevtold them because it is in theirs and your grandsons best interests to know, that you care too much about your grandson to keep it from them. If they shoot the messenger repeat that message

It damaged things further with my son. I don’t have the actual content to send him and he said I’m being paranoid and “keep it to yourself”. I agree with you both and feel very unsettled but (I’m not normally religious) will pray and send it to my higher power on how to proceed. Thank you all for your caring messages. Much needed now…

Why are you not prepared to tell us what this video is about? I find this very odd.

Yes, it is unfair to ask people here to give advice, without any idea of what you are talking about. Nudity, soft porn, hard deviant porn, extreme violence or terrorism, or ???

Op
Given past background, you knew your son and dil might kill the messenger - why did you do it and further damage the relationship?

ExDancer
What details do you expect the OP to divulge. If it was a porn video, would you want her to give details ?
If it was a snuff video would you want the details, I don’t think so.
Just leave it that it was inappropriate for a child to see.

You’re joking aren’t you ? Of course you would tell on a 9 year old. What are you even thinking ? It needs to be dealt with immediately.

why do you not have the content to shew your son.
how do you get on with the child's mother ?
there are serious safeguarding issues in all this that some people seem to be gliding over.

As usual, giving the reaction of the son, there has to be more to the story

So OP brought it up to son without the video available? Big mistake

Safeguarding concerns get passed on.

But without the video proof, that you won't even describe to us... all you have is drama

Not helpful at all

Hithere

Op
Given past background, you knew your son and dil might kill the messenger - why did you do it and further damage the relationship?

Because the NINE year old child is the priority. It is up to the parents of that child how they respond. The OP was brave and right to tell them despite knowing the possible consequences. If the child's parents can't see that and prioritise"keep it yourself" approaches .. well what a pity, but their problem, NOT the OPS.

Hithere

As usual, giving the reaction of the son, there has to be more to the story

So OP brought it up to son without the video available? Big mistake

Goodness me Hithere I am truly astounded by your apparent ignoring of the age of this young child. The parents can choose to believe the OP or not, content available or not. "Keep it to yourself" sounds like they at least have an inkling of a possibility of some truth in this. Up to them how they respond, but not the OPS fault or mistake.

And yes there may be more to the story, that is no excuse to ignore a potentialsafeguarding issue with a 9 year old child!

VioletSky

Safeguarding concerns get passed on.

But without the video proof, that you won't even describe to us... all you have is drama

Not helpful at all

Why drama? It's up to the parents what they do and how they respond. The OP has told them, should she have just "kept quiet" because she didn't have the video evidence? Colluded with a 9 year old who apparently begged her not to tell his parents! Visual evidence is not always available with safeguarding information, that does not nullify that information.

I agree with grandtanteJE65

As to soft porn - I wouldn't have been too worried, (many teenage boys see this sort of thing these days) but if it was snuff (extreme violence, rape and murder) I would have told the parents. I would also consider involving the police.
We weren't given enough detail to advise.

Do I get the impression there are inadequate controls and restrictions on what your GS can access on the internet?
At 9 there certainly should be. Both daily hours limits, access to unknown sites, and keeping the phone downstairs at night. These are a minimum.

MerylStreep

ExDancer
What details do you expect the OP to divulge. If it was a porn video, would you want her to give details ?
If it was a snuff video would you want the details, I don’t think so.
Just leave it that it was inappropriate for a child to see.

No, not details. but what type of unsuitable material, and degree of danger/risk.