To betray or stay quiet

It's a safeguarding concern

You pass it on straight away.

You don't reply to it and give grandson the chance to delete it

You don't have a conversation with grandson about it before the parents giving the opportunity for them to beg

You don't run to an Internet forum for it to be discussed

You don't send a message to son that contains your personal description of something he can't see.

What you do is forward the video with a "grandson sent this by accident and I thought you should know

Because otherwise you just started a big drama in an already problematic relationship with someone who already doesn't trust your word

VioletSky

It's a safeguarding concern

You pass it on straight away.

You don't reply to it and give grandson the chance to delete it

You don't have a conversation with grandson about it before the parents giving the opportunity for them to beg

You don't run to an Internet forum for it to be discussed

You don't send a message to son that contains your personal description of something he can't see.

What you do is forward the video with a "grandson sent this by accident and I thought you should know

Because otherwise you just started a big drama in an already problematic relationship with someone who already doesn't trust your word

Well yes I agree with uou VS

However by the time the OP posted she had already had a discussion with grandson and, it appears, deleted the video. She can't go back and redo her initial response, therefore going forward the answer to her question "Do I tell, or do I keep quiet" is "Tell"

Yes and she has done that and it hasn't gone well Madgran

But if this happens to anyone else, there is a lesson to learn

Yes there is.

It not going well is the parents responsibility, she did what she had to do. Up to them

Idk about that

This sort of thing isn't drama

be wary of forwarding anything offensive; you may commit an offence thereby.

VioletSky

Idk about that

This sort of thing isn't drama

Certainly isn't, it is real life

welbeck

be wary of forwarding anything offensive; you may commit an offence thereby.

A good point welbeck

welbeck

be wary of forwarding anything offensive; you may commit an offence thereby.

The OP told us that she doesn’t have the video.

Discord is basically like a chat room - so it could have been a closed group chat of just his friends, or with strangers. He may not even have interacted with them, someone just shared the link and that’s where he got it from. It does sound like he needs a conversation about internet safety, but it sounds unlikely that your son wants to discuss any of this with you.

I certainly think MerylStreep is over-dramatising things - while that level of grooming does happen, there’s no reason to assume it’s what is happening here.

surely parents should be closely supervising, checking on internet/phone usage at this age.

I have a nine year old grandson, and I’m pretty certain he wouldn’t go looking for anything unsavoury, everything is football related.
If he did receive something inappropriate and sent it to me, I would assume he wanted me to see it and do something about it.
Which, would be to tell his mum, at no point would he be in any trouble.

I certainly think MerylStreep is over-dramatising things - while that level of grooming does happen, there’s no reason to assume it’s what is happening here.
The point is it MIGHT be happening and it is for tge parents to establish that! That is shy the OP is right to tell the parents

Thanks Madgran - yes I missed the hidden message there, so this discussion is now pointless as she's told. She did the right thing imo is it was indeed a really nasty video