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Grandparenting

Is it right/ok?

(70 Posts)
Thistlelass Tue 22-Aug-23 00:31:17

For my 6 year old grandson to refer to oral sex? Just that really. I am seeing this as a step beyond generally talking about body parts and poop jokes etc. Maybe I am wrong. All I did was notify the parents what he had said and say that it troubled me he knew about this. I never experienced any such issues with his Dad and my other 3 sons. It is worrying me very much.

nanna8 Wed 23-Aug-23 01:54:56

The very fact that you have raised your concerns on this anonymous forum says it all. Something is definitely ‘off’ here.

VioletSky Wed 23-Aug-23 03:39:01

This would really bother me too

The NSPCC has some good resources for teaching children about what areas of their bodies should be kept private for children his age.

Unfortunately children do overhear things, especially from other children who have older siblings or older children on the playground. It can be hard to pinpoint where these things come from... But it is important to find out if it comes from other children or an adult.

If you are concerned that there is no possibility this is coming from children talking and just finding what they know to be rude words funny, you should report it. Especially as it happened in your care if you genuinely believe the parents aren't handling it appropriately

However this may damage your relationship with the parents and you must

You also have to be very careful questioning children, any leading questions would not be helpful to social services or any safeguarding organisation as leading questions are know to put ideas into a child's head making the information void

So you would have to wait until something was said again and stick to where, who and when questions

Eg, where did you hear that? Who said it to you? When did that happen

I hope you are ok, try not to worry too much, I've heard some things in my time at school and they have all been traced back to other children so far

Madgran77 Wed 23-Aug-23 11:09:08

GrannyRose15

With the extra detail it does sound like it is just 6 year old stuff but I’d keep an eye out for further incidents if that is possible. Also make sure the little girl knows that the best way to deal with these suggestions is to say no walk away and tell mum.

It does NOT sound like just 6 year old stuff!!! Very very concerning behaviour!

fancythat Wed 23-Aug-23 11:15:59

and finally dared her to watch an adult movie as he called it.

My best guess is that his parents have allowed him to watch some.
Of course I dont know for sure.

I would ask your son whether that happens in the first instance. I wouldnt take long before asking him.

Thistlelass Wed 23-Aug-23 11:50:39

fancythat

and finally dared her to watch an adult movie as he called it.

My best guess is that his parents have allowed him to watch some.
Of course I dont know for sure.

I would ask your son whether that happens in the first instance. I wouldnt take long before asking him.

I am 100% confident this would not happen in my son's home. Have no doubt about that.

Thistlelass Wed 23-Aug-23 11:51:33

I would like to thank everyone for their input. It has been helpful.

silverlining48 Thu 24-Aug-23 13:02:27

Wishing you well thistle

DiamondLily Thu 24-Aug-23 18:48:26

When I was working in a Child Protection dept, this would have been a red flag, to be honest.

Primrose53 Thu 24-Aug-23 19:24:00

I would be concerned. I never knew about stuff like this until I was well into my teens. 6!!!!!

MrsKen33 Thu 24-Aug-23 19:57:03

DiamondLily. I agree wholeheartedly with you.

lemsip Thu 24-Aug-23 20:20:43

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12369421/Council-prevents-schools-using-teaching-material-perform-oral-anal-sex-pushing-trans-terms-like-assigned-birth-promoting-controversial-Genderbread-man.html
A council's sex education teaching materials amount to 'soft porn', a representative for a women's rights organisation has claimed, after the council were forced to withdraw some of its recommended teaching material.

Documents seen by MailOnline concerning the lessons included the controversial 'Genderbread man' - which shows someone's gender identity, gender expression and anatomical sex to be different things.

they are teaching inappropriate things to small children.

Iam64 Thu 24-Aug-23 21:08:03

I share your concerns Thistlelass. This seems different than the normal 6 year old boy obsessed with willies, farts and bums.
The lick my pee pee, lick the dogs bottom and watch adult movie aren’t the kind of sexualised comment I’d expect from a 6 year old.

It’s possible an older child has shown him pornography on his phone. It’s possible he’s being sexually exploited. Write down what you remember, what was happening when he first saud these things, who and how responses followed. Could you meet with his parents? If this was my 6 year old child or grandson I’d be worried.
If it was referred to a social work team they should investigate. Whether they would these days is another matter. Nspcc doesn’t investigate, it takes the details and sends them to the local authority sw team. But, nspcc has good, experienced staff who’d be happy to sit with you and talk this through

lemsip Thu 24-Aug-23 22:09:47

have a look at this thread under News & politics

‘Grandad’s Pride’. Really?

it was on the news also. see what children are being taught.

Esmay Fri 25-Aug-23 02:02:12

I'd be concerned , but our grandchildren are bombarded with sexual images /references all day if they watch TV .

Recently , a small child was asking about erections in the supermarket to the horror of his mother and the amusement of the shoppers .

Iam64 Fri 25-Aug-23 08:08:43

It’s far too easy for parents to explain their child’s sexualised play or comments by suggesting they (inadvertently) saw pornography.

Thistlelass Tue 29-Aug-23 21:18:49

Would anyone know if I discuss this with my CPN (involved for the past year), will they take it back to social services as a referral?

Hithere Tue 29-Aug-23 21:57:44

I tell my kids this movie or tv program is for adults (Avengers movie, Friends tv show)

It wouldnt be too weird for them to revert the order and say "adult movie"

Thistlelass Tue 29-Aug-23 22:02:44

Hithere

I tell my kids this movie or tv program is for adults (Avengers movie, Friends tv show)

It wouldnt be too weird for them to revert the order and say "adult movie"

Yes. I have thought of that, but thanks.

Iam64 Wed 30-Aug-23 07:47:56

Thistelass, is you discuss this with your cpn and they share your concerns, they’re likely to suggest you contact Children’s Services. They may make a first approach at your request but ultimately, you’re the person with first hand knowledge