losing my three granddaughters and I'm crushed

I do understand how you feel as I am a Special Guardian to my lovely granddaughter and we have raised her from a toddler. In our case, my granddaughter cannot live with her birth parents due to mental health and my son's addiction. They are not even together any more. The fact that your granddaughters have a stable and loving home with their parents is absolutely wonderful. I am sure you have been the most wonderful and devoted granddad to these girls and nothing can take that away.
I think the advice to send them off with a smile and your blessing is spot on and now you can make plans to fly out to them and now enter a new stage in your lives, while also keeping that bond by means of video calls such as Facetime, Messenger and WhatsApp. Be excited about all the new opportunities for them and for you both!

You seem to feel the need to devote your life to the grandchildren and thrive on that. Now that's being taken away it's hard. Think positive. Share their excitement on moving, visit often and get a dog to take to the park, swimming in the summer, shopping, visiting friends etc. The dog will be yours and yours alone and will return that devotion 100%. All you can do with children and grandchildren is give them roots and let them fly

I stopped logging onto gransnet for a while because I couldn't believe how hurtful some of the comments were on here.
For whatever reason the children have been a large part of this grandparent's life and I would think that this has benefitted all involved. It may have been to help his daughter and her husband out. Now that his daughter's family are moving away there will inevitably be a huge change in the grandparent's life and as hard as this will be I'm hoping that in time they will adapt and find benefits to the new arrangement
In a world where we can make so many choices why can't we choose to be kind. Remember everyone's situation is different.

Some of the posts on here are completely uncalled for. If anyone has doubts about the motives and character of any other poster, they should report their suspicions to GNHQ, instead of making hurtful and completely baseless insinuations.

As Namsnanny says, poor bloke.

For the benefit of UK posters, the distance from Tennessee to California is 500 miles more than the distance from London to Moscow. I live in the US and I have grandchildren in a state much closer to me and in the same time zone, but it’s still a full day’s drive to see them. I also have grandchildren in the UK and I’m lucky to see them once a year. I highly recommend FaceTime or Messenger video, but it’s not the same as being near them.

True, there is not much information here, other than to commiserate with you.

1) “raised them from newborns” is a striking comment. •You had custody? •Parents were not present due to circumstances? •You offered to be the ultimate babysitters? •Parents off-loaded kids onto you for selfish purposes (taking advantage)? We just don’t know enough to understand if this was a deliberate move or not.

2) If all was completely agreed too and stable and emotionally accepted… then I hear your heart. They too will be missing the both of you and it may be a tremendously hard adjustment for the children when they encounter new sitters (if both parents work).

3) What you save in $ by not having them around (food, clothes, recreation, toys) really adds up. Start your air-fare kitty now so you can afford to fly out occasionally. I’m sure your daughter will return too for important visits.
Wishing you all he best.
USA Gundy

Well I don’t think we are going to get any answers because I don’t think Davmalk is coming back either because it’s a spoof post or because he didn’t get the answers he was expecting or wanting

Sorry you feel so devastated. They are not dead you are very lucky. This is now the time for you and your partner to move to the next phase of your aging. There is still a big world out there and you must live in it. Lots of us have been there and yes we are sad but you can visit them in America. There is Facebook and lots of ways to communicate that our parents didn't have. Hope everything goes well .

I think you're right BlueBelle and he didn't get what he was expecting, but I'm referring to the judgemental and unkind responses on here.

With FaceTime etc you won’t loose them, but it’s time to except their not your children, they will always love and look forward to seeing you, and your wife.
Perhaps take up some new interests 62 is no age, time to start a new chapter, have you a dog ? Plenty around needing a loving home …
Now be positive and happy for them and enjoy yourselves and time together …

Oh my! How sad for you.I feel your pain in what you’ve written.Whether they are beside you or a thousand miles away ,children grow up and then the distance is there.My young
teenage granddaughters are not those little girls who filled my life, but I am here for them ,whether they ask me about homework or have a moan about mum and dad. You are always in their lives . Let them fly free.

I do the same as you with my grandson. I would be devastated. But as my husband and I are retired, we would move too. Is that an option for you?
I'm so sorry for you

5 years ago my son wife and 2 grandchildren moved to be near her family( you lose a son when he gets a wife!) it happened very quickly, and i went into a kind of shock for a long time, it is so painful, a form a grieving i believe has to be accepted, because that is what it is , a loss. yes you can skype etc etc, but for me the ache never leaves.I have a son dil and grandson near me ,but does it lessen the ache? no. ive thought of moving to be near them, 300 miles away but then that comes with problems of its own.Maybe Im wrong I don't know but losing family that are near and such a part of your life is so painful. I hope things become easier for you.

How odd and a little scary in the language used. I don’t know about others but t made me feel very uncomfortable

With The internet you can now “see” them every day via Messenger and FaceTime. When my grandchildren were small there was only the telephone but now I can communicate with my greatgrand children at any time.

Have you considered renting out your home and joining your family, by renting a home near to them in Tennessee? Of course, this is all discussed with your children and agreed upon. I personally would not sell up and buy in Tennessee because your family could well move again and again, good luck. Readers have to understand that the U.S.A. is a continent. A four hour journey is pretty far, just saying.

Encouraging this unhealthy obsession is not the way to go.

"Move" is the last thing OP needs to hear

I know how you feel. My sons mother in law financially facilitated them to move close to her and 4 hours away from us. It’s tough, I’m sad my relationship with my grandkids isn’t what I hoped and the promises to visit haven’t really materialised. We visit them as often as we can afford to, but I’ve had to accept that I’m not there to see their events, celebrations etc. eldest lost her first tooth and I wasn’t told. It’s a little thing but significant for a grandparent. I find it hard to call or FaceTime as daughter in law often doesn’t pick up and sons not with the kids as at work. It’s tough but you do accept it after time. I write to my grandkids so that’s nice.

Why am I not surprised at how cruel and heartless so many of the answers on here are?
If you don't believe this is genuine, then move on.
Have none of you ever felt so overwhelmed with sadness that your language may be OTT?
His adored grandchildren will be moving miles away. We are talking hours and hours. Not a quick drive down a motorway.
He adores them and has spent many wonderful days with them, probably so mum and dad can build up their careers . Yes , his language is perhaps a bit much, but his grief is not. When you see someone every day, enjoy their hugs and cuddles, share their fun and adventures, of course he will miss them.
Sir, it will be difficult, but see them off with a smile and a wave. They will be grieving and sad too. They will miss you as much as you will miss them. Find ways to keep in touch. Not just Facetime , but letters and pictures and little presents. And save all those cents. Keep a clear bottle with coins in. It can be your Flight Bottle. Send photos of it filling up. Make sure you go to see them as often as you can. It will hurt like hell, but it will get easier.
I hope he reads the kinder comments as well as the ones that, quite frankly, are bordering on calling him a dodgy old man ( or worse!)

Surely, if it's really that important - you could also move with them? If they're your whole world (and you provide so much support) what's keeping you where you are?

I am really sorry you feel so bad but at least they will be in the same country as you. My husband died when my daughter was three, so I overindulged her I think to compensate. To my delight, she had a beautiful boy 7 years ago. He too was my world and I paid their rent so that my daughter didn't need to go to work after her maternity leave finished because he was quite poorly and we didnt want him in childcare.

So five years on, seeing him regularly, me buying them whatever they needed, they moved up to be closer to where I lived as it was a 2.5 hour train journey for me. I never ever asked for anything in return, just a little affection and the occasional message but nothing was ever forthcoming.

Suddenly I have served my purpose, havent seen them for almost a year, I send presents to him every couple of months but never any acknowledgment, I daresay my little letters are destroyed. Not really a good example of manners for a 7 year old. Apparently I am narcissistic and in need of mental therapy. The latter could be true, ha ha, but certainly not narcissistic.

You have lots of lovely memories and will be able to see them whereas I, just have 30 little videos I joined together and put onto a dvd until he was almost six.

Too much time on your hands and a tedious desire for attention if you ask me. 🤔

BlueBelle

Well I don’t think we are going to get any answers because I don’t think Davmalk is coming back either because it’s a spoof post or because he didn’t get the answers he was expecting or wanting

If I were OP I wouldn't come back and post anything else either!! Some of these comments have been totally uncalled for and beyond cruel. None of you know the full circumstance yet you feel validated in stating that the OP is "creepy" and implying worse. Yes, it may be a hoax, in that case, either ignoring it or just being kind, harms no one. On the other hand, if it's true and the OP is struggling as much as they say, then some of these cruel posts could easily tip them over the edge. I know which type of poster I'D prefer to be! Being judgemental and nasty is not a good look.

I'm so sorry elaine .

I do not really know what to think about your post. I get it, that grand kids are special, but none of this sounds healthy to me. I am not sure kids should be going everywhere with you I don’t think that is healthy or good . Kids need to do kids things they need to be with other kids they need to be playing. There is no mention of parks or kids activity in your post expect swimming . It sounds like they are tagged along to whatever you want to do. Also, surely, they would be going to school anyway so they couldn’t go everywhere with you.
Also, its sounds to me that you are putting your needs and wants before theirs. What do you mean you have invested so much in them what do you expect back? We give love unconditionally we do not invest, that suggested getting a return.
Yes, it is a big change but they are not your children and surely you would want them to be with their parents and live their lives You must want them to be happy.
I am not sure if the is a fake post but it is full of red Flaggs. Maybe you are a little too possessive and that has prompted the move? That is not a very kind thing to say but you sound a little overwhelming to me. I would not dream of expecting my grandchildren to be there for my own needs and to keep me company or come everywhere with me. I love them I have a relationship with them but I also have a job, friends, and my own interest.
I think you need to wish your family well and stand back and let them live their live any way they choose. You havent lost them, you can skype them, call them and keep in touch via social media, mail and email, you can also visit .
They havent died, you havent died, so as you say you are being selfish look for positives such as what a great opportunity for these kids and be happy for them.
Also maybe give your wife some attention if you have one, a
I think she should be your world.