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Twin grandchildren first birthday - advice please

(56 Posts)
NemoNanna Thu 21-Sep-23 13:38:12

My twin grandsons are coming up for their first birthdays. They were very premature so won’t really be aware, however, are there any grandparents of twins out there who can advise me on birthday and Christmas etiquette? Do you get them joint cards and presents? Or one each? Do you buy them the same gifts? And if I make a cake, is a joint one acceptable?

Franbern Thu 28-Sep-23 16:39:50

Greenfinch sorry to learn that the Twins Club you used to attend has now closed. Must say, many are thriving, more of these than ever before. and TAMBA (The Twins Trust), takes part in so many aspects of rearing of multiples. Research groups etc. and are a very respected Charity organisation

When my twins were born, personal circumstanes not that good - three slighly older siblings , all under school age, hubbie reently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

I was so excited at the thought of two in one go and then came across women, living in lovely houses, no money worries who told me that they had been so distraught at the idea of twins, they had wanted the second one to be born dead!!!

I and two other Mums started off a local twins club, mainly to try to get arrangements for passing on clothes, etc. etc. Just in our London Borough, and in no time at all we were holding our first party with eighty sets of young twins there!!!

Following media coverage on this I was inundated with letters from all over the UK from Doctors, Health Visitors, Social Workers and parents. Eventually, I asked NCT (I was a breast feeding Counsellor with them) if we could use their London Conference Hall for free one Sunday so that we could call a sort of National Convention. They permitted this and some sixty people came along and there was formed The Twins Club Association - which later renamed itself Twins and Multiple Births Association (TAMBA), and recently The Twins Trust.

Another Mum from NCT and I wrote the first leaflet on breat feeding twins. Great days.

Greenfinch Thu 28-Sep-23 17:53:07

Franbern , how lovely to hear about the background to TAMBA and especially your role in helping to establish it. What an accomplishment!
It is terrible that people should not welcome twins: they are such a joy. My daughter was so excited but I must say she did find life difficult especially after the little boy was diagnosed with autism at the age of two and a half. The twins’ club was held in a big hall in an Arts Centre and going there allowed him to run around freely and took the pressure off her.
My observation ,and it is only a generalisation, was that Mums who had older children seemed to cope better with life than those for whom the twins were their firstborn. Also there were several IVF twins there and sometimes their Mums were a little older. They too welcomed the opportunity to sit down for a chat while their twins were happily occupied with the large selection of toys available. So well done you . You obviously filled a gap and I am glad to hear so many clubs are thriving.

arpaul Thu 11-Jan-24 19:54:22

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Mancjules Thu 11-Jan-24 22:29:37

For the first 2 bdays of my GCs I got furniture for their room. Now they are 4 they know I bought them the wooden desk and toy storage - and remind me quite a lot! Job done x

Callistemon21 Thu 11-Jan-24 22:41:06


Giving twins joint gifts, cards etc. is the same as giving Christmas Day birthday children one gift for both celebrations.
We have several sets of twins in our family, also Christmas Day birthdays.

Giving twins joint gifts, cards etc. is the same as giving Christmas Day birthday children one gift for both celebrations
That used to happen to one of my DC, not everyone did it but certainly some would.