Mothers Day - interested in opinions

His wife and family come before his mother. He can see his mother another day.

My d.I.ls, the mothers of my grandchildren should always come first and they do. I get beautiful cards and flowers. I am going out for dinner with my daughter and her children. She is divorced. It must be so difficult - so much stress to please everyone.

It's Mother's Day. She is his mother. A short visit and a card or something would be nice. My daughter has always come here with a gift and card, stays for an hour or so then has some time with her own daughter. Her husband goes to see his mother while our daughter is here.

Always told my son his partner,and mother of my little Grandaughter,he is a family man she comes first,I have had my turn.
I am not forgotten he sends me messages with love you mum randomly,I would rather a spontaneous gesture than a hallmark one.

All my own dear (late) Mum ever wanted on Mothering Sunday was a nice card and a phone call. If they all live relatively close why not pop into Mum’s with some flowers for a cuppa early morning then spend the rest of the day helping the little ones spoil their own Mummy?

I would expect my husband to put me first but send a card and present to his mum.

Just to clarify, there's no right or wrong answer, I just wanted to see what people's views were. DH isn't the best at special occasions anyway so I had no expectations from him, given past birthdays/holidays etc

I think we often make too much of these 'special' days and that they can cause a lot of friction. Good for business of course. My daughter will give me a card and some flowers. I don't want presents. My son will not send a card or anything else but I know he loves me and he helps me in many ways which means much more to me than a card. I do think many men aren't too bothered about these days and often it's the wife who buys cards etc for her mother-in-law.

I am not sure I ever spent Mothers Day with parents or in laws and DC do not spend Mother's Day with me either - we all live too far apart and to be honest it is not an occasion I set much store by. A card and a phone call are quite sufficient for me.

I suggest that son visits mother on Saturday afternoon taking card/flowers/bottle of vino and spend some hours with her and he on Mother's Day stays home with wife and children orchestrating the children cooking breakfast and taking it to mum in bed and then oversees whatever is being done for lunch.

My sons take me and DH out for dinner (with GC) on the Friday or Saturday evening before Mothers Day. They spend the day with their wives and children.

My DD always spends Mothers Day here with her children.

We lived too far from either to visit, so a card and flowers had to suffice. Fortunately both mothers got on, so at family celebrations there were no problems.
If DH have ever expressed a wish to go and visit his mother on Mother’s Day, I would have insisted he took the children with him so I got a day of rest for Mother’s Day.

I would be happy with a phone call and enjoy receiving a card. I haven’t seen my eldest daughter on Mother’s Day for years as she tends to spend it with her MIL who expects her son to be with her. My youngest daughter generally spends it with me and her children (she is a single mum now) and it’s lovely we celebrate together as a family. I always miss my mum on Mother’s Day and put flowers on her and my grandmother’s grave. Mum always had a phone call or visit when she was alive as does my MIL who is still around at 92.

It’s about your mother I think, but I would combine the two, wouldn’t your wife see her mother too. I had my own dear mother until I was thirty, how I wish she were here. Look after them, no one cares as she does.

A quick phone call, a card and a gift for his Mum, but spend the day helping the small children treat their Mum for the day.

Once I became a Mum, my Mum was perfectly happy to get a phone call, gift and a card from me, we visited our Mums the weekend before ( we both worked and lived in a different County) or the weekend after, I went to my Mums and MrOops went to his. We never had a problem.

I think there's a lot of nonsense around this day.

I'm a mother of 5 but I want my family to love me every day as I do them.

I admit I do like it when the one who lives closest drops in and gives me a hug and a kiss whatever the day but it's nice to be remembered as he goes out with his wife and children (usually waving from the car) but I don't expect them even to come in. I expect they do the same to her mum too. This son often chooses a card with rather purple prose in it! I have wondered for years if his very thoughtful wife buys it!
He gives me a hug, says something lovely (or silly as the mood takes him) and runs off cheerily.
I love that he is dedicated to his own family as that is my security for his future. I want my children to be happy. That makes me happy.

My youngest daughter is also living quite nearby. She will often drop in with flowers and or a card. She tends to stay for a cup of tea.

I suppose it's easy to say that I'm not overly bothered about it to be honest as 4 of my 5 tend to remember...

It was a "big deal" for my mother.
Maybe she needed validation??

I have to admit I don't like my adult children to include anyone else on my mother's day card. I know some of them want to be included (my daughter-in-law and grandchildren for example) and so I never say anything but I really only want it from my actual children.

When my children were too small to do anything themselves my husband would be very attentive and caring.
He is not my child though so I don't expect it from him.
He always has phoned his mother and has sent a card.

My husband regarded this as 'more American nonsense' and my children have inherited his thinking. Fine by me.

Of course he is wrong though Kim.

Presumably he doesn't know the origins.

Oldbat1

Mother’s Day means absolutely nothing to me. I was not aware of such a thing growing up in Scotland. Is this “new” ie since the 50s? I will tell daughters not to bother - I would be happier if monies were donated to charity. My mum and mum-in-law died a few years ago both lovely people. I would buy flowers throughout different times of the year.

It is Mothering Sunday, the fourth Sunday of Lent. It started out centuries ago as the Sunday people went back to their mother church, then became a day when those in service could go home to visit their mothers.
Then got taken over by Hallmark cards, I think !

It also has origins in ancient Greece when mother goddesses were honoured in Spring.

The children should be encouraged to pamper their mother and the son could call to see his own mother for at least a visit, if possible. Not forgetting that his wife might want to see her own mother too.

It's sad that you can't all spend the day together.

It's on a different day in Australia, as it is in the USA.
It's on 12th May this year.

Mothering Sunday is Sunday 10th March.

I'm somewhat ambivalent about Mother's Day. I appreciate a card, flowers and a meal out, which isn't on the actual day, it doesn't matter to me, some sort of acknowledgement is fine, I know they both tell me they love me fairly frequently that's what matters to me. My only thought is as a mother, never go head to head with the wife or partner, accept graciously, you are no longer the number one woman in your son/s life/ves, but you will always hopefully have a special place as his mother.

When my mother was still alive, I always sent a card and then took her out to lunch, for Mother's Day, but that was rarely on the actual day as my mum arranged her Sundays around going to mass.

I think Mother’s Day is for little children to buy or make something for their mums to say Thankyou for all that they do for them.
I think at our age it’s just as bit silly, and I certainly wouldn’t expect any of my children to take me out for the day, they need to be with their own families.
Fine if everyone can get together, otherwise the younger mums take priority.

He should take his mum a nice gift and card, spend a bit of time with her, then give his wife a gift and card from the children

The mother of his young children on Mother’s Day and his mother another day.

I think that once a son leaves home his loyalties should be to his wife and children first. A good relationship with his mother is a bonus.

Why does there have to be any competition between a man’s partner (mother of his children) and his mother? It’s possible for him to love both, and to acknowledge both on the same day. It seems as if we expect women to be in competition over a man but we don’t have similar threads about Father’s Day. (Unless I’ve missed them).