Anyone else feel surplus to requirements ?

Babamaman

Totally with you on this.
I’m in Brittany France with daughter 1 (50) husband + 2 grandchildren (28, 13)& daughter 3 (40) + husband & 2 grandchildren (15,11).
I’m spoken to ( if at all) as though I’m senile, or they are all on their electronics the whole time!?
If I say anything, I get ‘the look’ ‘ are you mad, or what?”
I’m 75. It’s cruel

It sounds it, how awful of them. Refuse to go away with them again and enjoy being at home and with your own friends.

It sounds dreadful, I really feel for you. Several of the ladies in my village get together for holidays, or we go in groups. Would that be an option for you?
How would they react if you told them that you are only 75 and not senile yet, thankyou? And to talk to you properly?

I am like you*RofI*. I was brought up to be independent. Once I married my parents felt they had no right to interfere in my life.

Being practical, they did not live close enough for me to look to them for childcare, nor do we live close enough to provide childcare for grandchildren, but when DS and DDiL had children, my companion grandmother, who did live close, provided one day a week of care for a year, but the rest of the time they paid for childcare.

Obviously there will be times when money is essential and wages are low, but in a very recent thread, both parents were in senior positions, so really had no reason to expect grandparents to provide care.

My self worth is not based on my being a grandparent, I have a busy life following my own interests. I have done my generation of childcare. I do nto want to do 2.

I think my dinners and parties are much better I don't want to be put in a corner.

Very pleased to e-meet you, Monica!

RillaofIngleside

Very pleased to e-meet you, Monica!

I've not been told I was requirement to our AC birthing GC.

Apology, I didn't intend to quote - daft of me.

I'm 68 and still working.
I'm usually the one doing all the work at family gatherings . No sitting around in the corner.
However, I must admit I am not keen on board games.
However, I do think age is partially in the mind , so, unless you are disabled or poorly, I would say get up from the corner and join in. Xx

I'm 66 and today been to my 5 Yr old granddaughters party where I happily bounced on the bouncy castle. ..did feel a little sea sick though !

LittleToothill - I like that you started your post by counting your blessings. 😁

I’ll be 71 in exactly two weeks and I’m still in the thick of family life. Although I’ve had health problems for a long time my family have somehow always been able to accept that and carry on regardless, but in 2022 I suffered from a bout of amnesia and unfortunately it is recurring. Now my family (husband, children and older grandchildren) have become what I can only describe as protective of me. I’ve noticed they’re careful in sharing anything that might be stressful, they keep in close touch - and if I phone them my calls are answered immediately (my eldest son has twice had to respond to emergency calls when I’ve had amnesia episodes so he never delays answering my calls, “just in case”). At Christmas I usually host, but the family always pitch in - not this year; our son (aided by his lovely wife) has booked a holiday cottage for us and they’ll be hosting this year.

So, no, I don’t feel sidelined or redundant in the family, but I am aware that things are changing - and that’s just in the natural order of things I believe.

P.S. The Sock Game (mentioned up thread) is brilliant and I do still join in all the family games and quizzes as much as I feel comfortable with.

I’m 69 and still run around and play with my two grandchildren aged three and five, it is harder though! I try and keep active and swim five times a week and wattch my weight and try to dress attractively, though don’t try to look younger.

I do find some modern smart phones a bit puzzling. I have an old I phone and my son is always telling me how to use it to pay for shopping, but I can’t get my head round it and pay by card still! My DH is always saying how tired he is. I tell him to mention it to GP as he has ehat they called ocular migraines recently and has a small clot in a vein near his brain so is obsessed about his health atm.

I feel surplus to requirements too.
I've always helped my daughter with childcare for her 2 children but now they don't need me any more I very rarely hear from her.
I would love to be included in family events.