Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Taken for granted?

(106 Posts)
Literarylover Mon 14-Oct-24 19:05:37

My husband and I have been minding our three year old grandson one day per week since he was 6 months old. Now my daughter is expecting her second baby and, much as we love our only grandson, we were looking forward to a bit of respite while his mum is on maternity leave, especially as my husband has recently had health issues. It seems, however, that we are expected to continue with this arrangement. Obviously we are happy to help out, especially in the first few weeks after the new little one is born, but I feel it's a bit of a cheek for my daughter to ask us to continue to mind her son when she is not working. AIBU?

DiamondLily Tue 22-Oct-24 17:56:11

Just tell them that you and DH aren’t up to it at the moment. They can either sort out paid childcare, or do it themselves.🙂

Nanniejude Mon 04-Nov-24 22:25:27

I’m sure there are many grans on here who think how lucky and privileged you are to be able to look after grandchildren. After all it’s just for such a short time before they are off to school!

Nannast Thu 14-Nov-24 22:04:23

Perhaps daughter and grandparents could spend some time together with the grandchild. Sadly these days we are expected to work till much later on in our lives and take on the role of surrogate parents with very little time to to ourselves in the latter years. Precious time with grandchildren should be a choice and fun not made into a duty. Be kind to yourselves

Donenow1 Sun 17-Nov-24 09:15:02

Couldn't agree more. I think nowadays a lot of younger folk presume that their lives will continue as normal after the arrival of a baby with grandparents picking up the slack, ie Childcare. My late Father who was a lovely man always used to say "you had the baby, you look after the baby". I really don't think that new parents should presume that Grandparents should step in and pick up Childcare. There can be many reasons why Grandparents don't want or are unable to do it.

NanaLind Fri 29-Nov-24 22:14:04

I know the feeling of feeling like their taken advantage of you.Ive been watching my 6 yr old GD for years now.Everyday Mon thru Fri, then she sometimes ask for Saturday.I pick her up everyday after school, school vacations I also watch her.She is not a well disciplined child, she has anxiety and anger issues.Some days are very hard.I tell my daughter about her not listening to anything I say, she says she is going to check into after school program but hasn't yet.Her daughter doesn't behave for her either.But in school they say she's an angel.Im at a loss, by the end of the week I feel exhausted.I really think my daughter doesn't care as long as she has someone to watch her.