Your descriptions about your ex describe him as someone I would find absolutely repulsive and vile. It also speaks volumes about your son that he would argue that anyone who got into a near physical confrontation with his own wife should have access to his children. Where is his respect for the mother of his children? Where is his self-respect as a husband? Where is his judgement when it comes to providing positive, healthy examples of people to expose his children to? Blood entitles your ex to absolutely nothing if he cannot control his awful personality toward the mother of his grandchildren.
OP, if I were you I’d remove myself from the middle of this mess. 3 adults who seemingly cannot control themselves for the sake of the children and you who really has no stake in this taking it on.
This is a messy situation that appears to be precipitated by your messy ex and now your son who is likely driving his wife away is causing marital issues. None of this is your circus. Leave it well be. On another note, I do hope your DIL is taking a good hard look at your son and the man who raised him. I would not be so hopeful about the future with a man who would expose his children to anyone who has so little respect for their mother. Apples, trees and all.
This weather is getting me down. Is it May or March?
