Heartbreak at news daughter and family want to move to Australia

Oh dear I do understand how you feel now I am older BUT these are their lives..... back at the end of the '60s I moved 300 miles from my parents to train as a nurse... they never stopped me... remember to us in the 60s this was a huge change. They were able to visit, though it seemed miles away and to them quite costly. But they allowed me to pursue my dream... which today looks so simple. We now can keep in touch via internet etc, your children have to live their dreams and perhaps you can put money aside to visit once a year. My parents and I only were in contact by telephone once a week and we were only in different counties! It is only now that I understand how they must have felt, but never ever did they stop me. And for that I am so grateful..... please let them make their own decisions, find ways to be in contact...

This is just an add on, one of my friends went to live with the family, happily, and she was not very young! Just step back and look at all options.

Final thought on this. I’m grateful for all the very positive responses I got from people sharing their own experiences or just offering kind words and empathy. To the 2 or 3 people who suggested I was selfish and should let her live her own life, I say this…I posted on this thread to seek advice and support during a personally difficult time. I haven’t expressed any of my feelings with my daughter because I don’t want to burden her with how I feel. If you’d read my post properly you would know that. 97 out of 100 respondents got it, unfortunately you didn’t. Judging someone you don’t know when you’ve failed to read or understand a simple post is a sad way to behave and I’d urge you to think carefully in future about the impact your words can have. Posting on this forum has helped me to get some perspective and to those kind enough to respond positively, I thank you

Thank you for replying but I feel you have missed the point of my post. I would never do or say anything to try and stop her living her own life or to make her feel guilty about it and the purpose of my post was to reach out to others who may have experienced similar circumstances for advice and support rather than talking to my daughter and risk my emotions getting the better of me. As it was though, just yesterday we had a long talk about it and our message to her and her partner was that they must do what is best for them and we will look at our options when our circs change (my 93 year old FIL is still with us and we would never leave him). We both feel better and less distressed and that in part was because of the very positive and kind responses received on this forum.

You do get used to it Denise 27 years ago my son and girlfriend took off to have a look round NZ I knew he’d never come back He is a NZ citizen and although I ve been over a good few times I now feel to old for that long old travel

Three years ago one grandchild took off to Australia and I geared myself up as I thought she would stay, just like her uncle did …she’s working, apartment, car etc but just this week she has told me she’s coming back next summer as she feels too far away and wants to be abe to get to us in an hour or two not a day or two Now another grandaughter is down under but she has a very good job in UK to come back to next Summer
It’s not all roses out there, I think Nana8 will agree, who knows they may be back make the most of holidays, video calls etc etc and as heart breaking as it is for you, cry in private never let them know you are upset.

Winterwhite I don’t know how old you are but my grandchildren have had so many more opportunities than I had They all have good jobs and all of them drive and have decent cars They holiday all over the world. Two own houses
I didn’t even have a telephone or TV when I was growing up !!
Never had a car and I was in my forties before I owned a house
So you must have come from a very different life to me