Feel totally taken for granted

Talk to them about it and say it will be too much for you. Sounds like they are taking advantage of you both and enjoying free childcare. What ages are the children?

Just say NO. Tell that’s it’s too much. You are doing more than your fair share. Please don’t be bullied or feel guilty.

Or do a swop of dropping two full days in exchange for the overnight which will no doubt involve two full days.

We had ours for just shy of a fortnight while M&D were abroad.

It was tiring but we loved it.

Oh dear -another grandma , who is beginning to find childcare too much.
I have so many friends ,who are really struggling.
There's no magic solution to this problem-if you aren't happy it's best to say something.
And then ,stand back after lighting the blue touch paper.
It doesn't go down well.

I'm now in my tenth year of being punished by my son for not being able to look after my grandchild.
I could have over the past two two years as my father ,who required my full time care has passed.

To be honest I don't feel guilty, I feel disappointed in their response, it seems they are ignoring me now.I offered to look after one child and suggested the other grandparents look after one but it seems that's not acceptable ( the other grandparents have never had the children alone since they were born) it annoys me that they seem.to respect them more though)

One aged 4 and 1 aged 6 months

The behaviour of some adult offspring astounds me. The assumption that it is a grandparents duty to look after their children is just so unbelievably rude. Some offspring seem to think that every grandparent has the energy, will or just the wish to look after their children’s children. They may well be mistaken!

On the one hand it's lovely that your daughter and her husband trust you enough to look after both children overnight but on the other, they seem to be taking you for granted. Why do the other grandparents not have much involvement? Are they more assertive or less capable than you? It seems you are victims of your own success as grandparents. How do they cope when you go on holiday?

Let them ignore you. Don't be guilt tripped.They'll want you soon enough.
My answer would be no. Especially at their ages. You do enough.

midgey

The behaviour of some adult offspring astounds me. The assumption that it is a grandparents duty to look after their children is just so unbelievably rude. Some offspring seem to think that every grandparent has the energy, will or just the wish to look after their children’s children. They may well be mistaken!

I agree midgey. They take the p--s

Perhaps the problem is you look after one child daily which is very restrictive if you only did one day a week you would not find the overnight a problem. I am happy to help with childcare but I only do school pick up one day a week my daughters childminder does it the other four days. So the odd overnight is never a problem.
Always happy to help in emergencies but my DH have a life and it's our time to enjoy retirement. My daughter has never ever considered we do more.

OP, you need to remind this ungrateful pair they are lucky they get childcare.
These adult children are disrespectful, and they respect the other grandparents more, probably because they have said no and meant it, and I agree with them.
If you are being ignored and they can't be civil. I would stop all childcare, leave them too it and let them see how much money and time you save them.
These adult children are taking the P... Stop letting them do this.
My advice, stop the childcare and start to enjoy your retirement.
My daughter would never be so entitled.

We had this problem with childcare before my husband became disabled then we just couldn’t do it anymore because I have become a full time cater to him. For several years we had to put our plans on the back burner in order to help with the grand children, and now we won’t we able to take those plans off the back burner because my husband isn’t well enough.
Don’t be like us, live your lives to the full because as we get older we never know what is round the corner, suggest looking after the grandchildren in a more flexible way that gives you the freedom you deserve.
We all did this once when we were younger and more able. Now it is our grown children’s turn, not time for us to do ‘childcare - the sequel’.
You might upset your daughter but she’ll get over it.

DH and I are both in our seventies. We look after our granddaughter once a week for 3 hours after school. It's full on. DH does the cooking and I do the activities. We both love her to bits but even the little we do is very tiring.

You need stand your ground and say that this will be beyond you.

You don't want to be dealing with children waking up during the night asking for water, and stopping you from getting a decent night's sleep.

The other alternative is that they don't go to wherever it is they were going.

Thank goodness that our DD has never "expected" us to help out and as a result we often have, willingly, and loved every minute. There was a longish spell one summer when she had work issues and we had the two of them brought to our touring caravan (parked in a field!) for breakast before taking them of to a playgroup or the library and other things, which we did 3 days a week. We were pretty exhausted but it wasn't for long. They're now young teens so don't need us so much, but our younger DD is finally pregnant after IVF at age 43 and I'm hoping we can take said caravan the 180 miles to Bristol a few times a year to help out at least a little. It won't be easy cos DH is fairly disabled and is hard work himself, but I'd like to give it a try!while I can.

Neither DD would EVER over-stretch us or treat us with contempt if we couldn't manage it. Fortunately they both have good and respectful DHs which makes a difference.

Here we go again ! More Grandparents being taken advantage of. I recognise how difficult it must be for parents who both work , but they want to go away for a night and are upset because you question this- my heart bleeds for them !!! This request would be in perfect order if you were not doing so much childcare already . If you feel this is too much then say so and do not back down. Their children , their responsibility. For goodness sake why do adult children assume it is the Grandparents job to wear themselves out and be on call so they can have a night away??? We have done our job bringing up our children. I had my GC one day each week and enjoyed that but it was enough. Stand firm , any help you are able to give is a favour to the parents not a right parents think they are entitled to !

It’s a big ask to look after a toddler and a young baby overnight . Does the baby sleep through the night ? Will the toddler play up because mums not there ?
You’re already doing a lot of childcare during the week .
I’d stick to your guns and say it’s too much. I’d have a chat with your dd and put it on the table what you can and can’t do . Plus you and your dh deserve a life .
I don’t have GC but lots of my friends do and it seems to be the normal , that gp are expected to do childcare and babysitting .
My friend has been driving up and down the uk spending time with ac and dgc during Christmas and now has to cut short a new year break because her dgc have inset days . And has a 3 hour drive to reach them .
Another friend had her ac moan big time because she wanted to book a holiday during term time , even though she gave them 6 months notice .
When my dc were born my mum made it clear that she’d help out but wasn’t doing regular childcare . She and my df had just retired and had lots of plans .

They're taking the piss and couldn't care less about you OP. Tell them they'll have to pay for childcare from now on. If they wanted to live a child free existence, they should've used better contraceptives. This is not your problem and they are emotionally blackmailing you.

Wow some angry responses on here, I don't live near my grandkids now but am happy to help out whenever I can, I've had the youngest here for a week, he's 20mths and yes it's tiring but they won't be little for long and then you'll be one of those saying you don't see them as they grow up.

Certainly they don't need to go away, just say no this would be too much.

You do exactly what you want to do. And don’t be apologetic about it. Thats my opinion anyway. I love all my family but they know that we will babysit if something occurs….otherwise, not. This is our time now. We didn’t have gap years, travel opportunities, indulgent lifestyles and we did have a long working life with little support. It’s just the way it is and whilst I realise others will disagree, it’s a personal decision. You’re entitled to make yours.

To have gc every day after school is a huge commitment which stops you being able to have a day out at all because you need to be at the school gate every day by 3 pm. When we picked up our gc after school they were overtired, naughty and difficult to manage.
Then a whole day too, enough on its own.

No doubt when the younger child gets older their expectation of care will still be there. You will be older. My advice would be to nip it in the bud now. Do the one day and free up the rest of the week for you to enjoy in whichever way you choose. Or a couple of after school days. No need to do both if you are finding it tiring.

Flipping2 if you don’t live near your grandchildren you are not called on a daily basis. There is a difference.