LOUD VOICE

I find I get loud if I think no one is paying attention to MEEE and the fascinating things I'm saying! Yes, I did teach, Emily, oh dear.

I think the younger generations are much more PC than mine and sometimes I think they have the problem......as in too afraid of being seen to say the wrong thing. Political Correctness has become so over the top now as to almost be absurd in some cases. I would not dream of deliberately offended anyone , but some people tend to forget that older generations were brought up differently and used expressions that may seem rude or embarrassing by today's standards. Before I retired I worked for three different housing associations and we were regularly updated with all the "correct terminology " which we had to use and get used to. However a lot of the people I met during my work " not employees" were completely non PC. To me it's a generational thing and the younger ones need to realise that older people do not go out of their way to say the wrong thing. As for being loud is just your family that thinks this? You are best asking honest friends and take their advice.

Welcome Melanie ?
I am glad your daughters have been able to be honest with you. I understand this has hurt you and maybe knocked your confidence.
I wish I was able to have this conversation with my mum.
She isn't necessarily loud but the inappropriate comments are definitely getting to be a problem (racist connotations, references to people with special needs not 'being right etc). Sadly I think mum would be crushed by her children mentioning this.
I think you should listen to what they have to say, and if they are not just being pernickity, adjust accordingly if you are able.
If they are just being precious tell them to read the poem about when I grow old I'm going to wear purple (sorry can't remember the name or author)
Good luck ?

Warning Poem by Jenny Joseph. My aunt loved it, I read it at her funeral/celebration of life when she left us at 104.

I have the opposite problem. My daughter speaks so quietly I can't hear her. There is nothing wrong with my hearing as I hear everyone else. I keep asking her to repeat things and she gives me a look as if I'm as deaf as a post.

You may have got used to speaking loudly because your OH actually is slightly hard of hearing and you've adjusted to suit his hearing cos he's asked you to repeat yourself quite often when you're speaking quietly?

Bluebell, I know the OP days she doesn't have e a hearing problem but apparently.neither does my husband, but when I badgered him into getting a hearing test, surprise surprise his hearing is very bad in one ear and quite bad in the other.

Melanie, you sound great fun and as you say it is your job to embarrass your children

Inappropriate can be a generational thing. So granddad saying that the shop assistant has nice legs is inappropriate to someone younger.

Melanie, I'm also one that's told to shush, but only by one daughter, she is however the shy retiring daughter ( mother of two).
I'm outgoing talk to anyone etc I think she worries to much about what other people think. My take on it is, it's them not us, it's not as if we are swearing our heads off loudly. Like you I love my DDS to bits and have a great relationship with both of them ( youngest does live in Australia tho) so don't let it upset you or your relationship with them.Ive just learned to think abit before I speak.

Kate my cleaner has a very loud voice! She blames it on the fact that most of her customers are old and deaf! Gary, her husband, says she was born with a faulty volume control!

It's not always the volume, it's the pitch of the voice too. I know my voice carries, try speaks no a bit lower

My chdren and DH tell me my voice is too loud too! Also I know i talk too much and sometimes use words, phrases or even pronunciation which are not PC enough or just old fashioned and cause much hilarity, or worse, condemnation. I agree that they dont realise how difficult it is when phrases and terminology change. I dont let it work me and yes, i was a teacher too!

Dont let it worry , not work me!

When they say 'Dont shoutMum ' I raise my voice and sayTHIS IS SHOUTING!'
But only at home not in public!

My dad was famous/infamous for his huge voice and it seems to have been inherited by some of the DGC! Apparently my brother and I get noisier and noisier when we are together.

It is very easy now to find you have made an inappropriate remark, its impossible to get to grips with every change over 70 years, I do take note if something is pointed out to me by one of the DC which isn't very often thank goodness.

I suspect I am often "inappropriate" - my daughter certainly thinks so. I was told off for identifying a young lady running a stall at a recent bead fair as black. Apparently this is not acceptable these days but to me it was the only identifying feature as I couldn't remember what she was wearing or the name of the retailer amongst many.
I have little time for political correctness and think people are far too "touchy" these days. Probably an age thing.

Oh! I thought black was correct usage these days. I know one shouldn't say coloured. Its very confusing. My DD was really cross when she got a birthday card from an aunt in her 80s addressed to her as Mrs 'john smith' (not her real name) instead of Ann jones (maiden name). I explained that this was how we were taught to address married women and her response was 'She should get up to date! ' She was actually quite insulted !! Im sure that said aunt had no idea shed caused any offence!

We can't help it if they keep changing age-old rules!!

I'm sure you are not that loud !! I have to almost shout at my husband before he hears me ...his hearing is not good due to service as a gunner in the Royal Navy in the days before ear protection (he is 84) but the doc says the main problem is after his second stroke as it can affect, not necessarily the hearing to a greater extent, but the ability to process and comprehend what is being said. This certainly is the case, as he looks at me blankly when I have, for instance asked if he would like a drink ! Sadly he is also completely inappropriate ..think Alf Garnet and you have it ! Luckily we seldom talk to any English speaking people and he doesn't understand French, so he gets away with it as they don't understand him either ...and if he 'speaks' to them and I interpret for him, I don't always interpret EXACTLY what he has said ! It can be quite amusing !!

Have you ever recorded your voice and seen what decibels you speak at ? and then ask someone else to speak and compare the two ? My hearing is at present very good ...but age is creeping up ...... !

I also get told I talk too loud by some family members. My OH and my mum both tend to be a bit mutton so I do find myself having to talk louder than I would normally so that I don't have to keep repeating myself. On the rare occasions I speak to my sister she always cuts me short as I start to talk and says 'before you start please keep the volume down' which I find quite rude.

I think as long as you aren't actually shouting it shouldn't really matter if you are talking a bit louder than the norm!

I can relate to this! My daughter thinks I'm too loud and also 'eccentric' as she delicately put it. I think my reply was 'good' ....

My son, to whom I was speaking on the phone, told me "well you do speak a lot" after me relating something it other from the previous few days. I was quite shocked and responded (after a pause) with "you bitch"! Oh no Mum, it's great that you talk a lot! Eh? The ridiculous thing is that I do chatter on when he calls because I want to appear happy and interested that he calls.

Bless their cotton socks!

It's the other way round for me! My DD speaks loud and fast, but not "inappropriately", it's just that all her comments can be heard! She's always had a slight hearing problem Maybe it's the same with you - not the hearing problem, just that people can hear you. Try not to worry or be hurt - they love you anyway, as I do my DD.

You are you and always have been Melanie.
You sound like a a very natural spontaneous honest sort of person who is not afraid of putting their head above the parapet.
The younger generation can be very censorious and 'Holier than thou'of their elders. I think its shameful that the generation who made life so priviliged for their children should be castigated for every gesture or mannerism which offends their delicate sensibilities.
Carry on as you are and dont you dare feel that calling a barman 'young man' is remotely embarrasing.
Your daughters have the problem, not you. Buy them a pair of ear muffs.

O'h pollyperkins, yes we were taught at secretarial college to address an envelope to say Mrs John Smith and told you would only use her given name if she was a widow - when did it all change, years since I have typed an envelope.

When our DS was a little boy, he had a very loud voice, and our other children called him Foghorn Leghorn ( you remember the animated chicken with a booming voice who used to start every sentence with 'I say, I SAY, boy.....! In a US Southern drawl.)