LOUD VOICE

I used to say 'young man' to my son until he pointed out it was the equivalent of him calling me 'old woman'. I gave stopped using the term!

I totally agree with topsy turvy, I think the younger generation can be extremely censorious towards the older generation at times. It may very well be a generalisation but I find my DD to be worse than my DSs, perhaps girls are more precious than boys.
Personally I find it rather rude when my DD tells me I shouldn't say something, usually something she doesn't agree with, but I think she's out of order. I'm always PC in what I say, I was a teacher for many years and had to be, it's just that my DD is opinionated herself and doesn't mind voicing those opinions however rude that may be, but I know that she wouldn't speak to others the way she sometimes speaks to me. It is a sad indictment of the way society has developed I'm afraid.

Melanie take no notice , the "youngsters" seem to be embarrassed by everything these days , I see my son cringe when I call someone "love" when I am out . I am 65 and will continue ?

I agree maddyone and it's almost as if, because we're retired, we don't have a clue, as if we never held down responsible jobs. I just ignore such attitudes and put it down to immaturity or defensiveness or sheer rudeness.

I am meeting a friend later this week who has a Very Loud Voice.
At least I can hear what she says and don't have to ask her to repeat everything

Do not worry one jot. I have a loud(ish) voice. It comes from being a singer in my youth, a Uni lecturer later and enthusiasm for what I am saying. I never needed a microphone to fill a room with song or the finer details of Income Tax (my subject) and it all stood me in good stead.

However, I have been told often (though kindly) to "keep your voice down a bit mum" when I am in a public area and telling someone about my new dentures or how much I admire my son-in-law. I simply say "Oops, sorry, I get a bit carried away" and then try to whisper the rest of my tale, which apparently is still pretty loud.

There's worse things a gran can do. Just be yourself, and have a laugh about it.

Oh melanie I wish you lived near me,we could have such fun days out ,I too am an embarassing tongue in cheek kinda gal,I love to laugh over harmless things ,never unkind or at other people...my lovely son is long suffering when we are out ,but we have a similar sense of humour....it is E my 18year old resident GD, that would rather hide in the bus station for half an hour till the next bus( she thinks I didnt know this ..I saw her) rather than be on the same bus...I will chat to anyone ...well they chat to me,I am a good lustner I just throw in a few oohs and aahs and well I nevers...and they always say how nice it was that they met me and thank you for the chat.....and guess what E's bus was cut out so she had to wait an hour...serve her right and it started to rain....

I've been told I make inappropriate comments too and have a local London accent. Oh dear. I only say as I see and what I see has changed so much and not always for the better.

amt101I have a London accent too, when I hear my voice played back sound very much like pauline quirk i birds of a feather

UPDATE!!!

I been given examples of inappropriate remarks.

1. We were at a dining table with a large number of family and friends when I asked my daughter if having her baby was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

2. I asked my grandson if he sees much of his old school friend and neighbour who came out as gay about five years ago.

3. I go on and on about how I am amazed by how good a father my daughter's husband is to the baby and not mentioning that apparently ALL the fathers were good.

4. I keep saying how much like my mother the baby looks which is apparently unflattering to the baby. I was thinking of eyes and expression, not wrinkles and big nose, in my defence.

These combined with my loud voice make me sound like a nightmare.

Melanie

At least you know now for next time you have a family gathering

You can remain absolutely silent and then they will all be worrying if you're OK.
The occasional remark about the weather could be in order but perhaps that could mean that the baby is too warm/too cold/inappropriately dressed for the climate.

Jalima1108 I'm picking up that you think my girls are hypercritical/ Am I right?

Are they?

Melanie If I said things like that, my family would take the p* out of me and we'd all have a good laugh! ?
Carry on and just tell them not to be ridiculous!

Yes, carry on regardless!

I kinda feel they are but who am I to judge? What do they sound like to you?

A bit on the critical side tbh, but have found that our DC generation just are....some more than others.I see nothing wrong in any of your comments at all.
Why are some 30 somethings so inhibited I wonder?

It depends if they laughed or if they seemed offended.

Daughters do have a habit of saying 'Mother!!' in a certain tone of voice

Laugh NO. I wish. They gasp and say "Mum". Regarding the baby no one is in any doubt as to how gorgeous I think he is. With regard to the "childbirth" question she just muttered something about Scarlet Fever being pretty bad. Laugh? No, No, No.

Some younger people are easily 'offended' Melanie...... it seems to be the malaise of our times.

Do you know what? If anyone in my family was that oversensitive or overthinking of everything I said, I'd ask them to provide me with a list of lines I was allowed to say, and read appropriate lines from that at inappropriate moments just to wind them up. But if you prefer the more amenable approach, I'd do what someone earlier suggested, and start acting quiet and untalkative around them, until it becomes a relief when you do say something. I don't think it would do any harm to tell them, gently, that it's beginning to upset you quite how many times they criticise your comments and ask them to tell you whether it's because you're always criticising what they say. If they can't say yes to that, I think they'll have to face up to the fact they're being over judgmental.

My sisister in law asked me about childbirth at the dinner table! & she's my age!
When my sister was getting married my mum was giving her some money. I said (tongue in cheek) I had no intention of getting married so could I just have the money? She asked me (again at the family dinner table) if I was a lesbian! I nearly spat my mouthful out! I had had dd by then and admittedly a string of bad relationships with men but never had considered or had feelings for a woman! Inappropriate at its best!

Teddy123 I know I talk a Lot when. Y son calls, somehow Shen we skype its more 2 way?

My daughter cut herself off from me 8 years ago so don't feel qualified to comment
However I would be upset to be cr iticised in this way and really feel it's very disrespectful not to mention unkind.

However perhaps that was one of reasons I was cut off? I now know quite a few mums and dad who have been estranged too it seems to be ok to do this if parents aren't needed anymore?

Ingejones i think that's best way to actually gently say you find it uosetting to be told your voice is too loud and that u make inappropriate comments really it's pretty awful behaviour like saying you aren't acceptable!

Maybe try not to make tactless comments but I don't see why you should try change your voice?!

I know what I am going to say is going to sound a little over the top, but if you have a woman who was previously extrovert, sociable, un-selfconscious and now she is becoming nervous about the way people see her due to a group of people picking on what she says and how she says it, are we looking at a bullying situation? It can happen even in families. Something needs to interrupt this situation before the OP starts to lose confidence in herself.