Soop's pleasant (if boring) kitchen for friendly folk and precious pets.

No crumbs of comfort just deepest sympathy with how you are feeling.
Do not struggle, your own health is too important . You will go under.
Take any help from carers that you can and if it isn't enough you must think again. Hospital may be the only answer, much as it will distress you both, you must be practical.
I really feel for you as I think your worst fears are being realised.

Been thinking of you all day Maw .it was hard for me (and him) when DH came out of hospital the day after his operation but nothing like this. Just wanted to send love and hope someone give more help and advice than me.

maw so sorry to hear your situation. I don't suppose it's of any help, but when I came out of hospital a year ago after a serious car accident, I was provided with a commode to keep next to the bed. Do you think that would help at all?

Got commode thank you devongirl what is missing is joined up thinking. Honestly he was more independent in hospital, but he thinks something(e.g, go to the loo) then forgets and gets cross when I try to help him out of bed ("Why?") Exhaustion? Worse?
Claimed he had used his inhaler when I know for a fact he couldn't have. Up till yesterday he was meticulous about his meds but today? It could be smarties for all he cares, he looks at the plate (has always laid them out on a plate, he claimed he could "see"if he all the right ones) just looks, then closes his eyes, leaves them and of course gets impatient if I offer to help.
Speech is clearer but very restricted to Yes/no thank,you (often to the same question)
Oh I could go on, but this is not my paw

Maw I am so sorry to hear of your truly awful day. All I can do is send love and hugs and hope things improve. Please accept all the help offered to you both. I will be thinking of you tonight .

Oh dear - I don't know what to suggest apart from making a chart for his meds so you can be sure he has taken them.
Are they absolutely sure it is not a UTI? perhaps another test is needed tomorrow.

In the meantime, hope that help will still be arriving and that things do improve

Hope I'm allowed to worry about you both maw. If you are still worried tomorrow why not ask for a GP home visit? For reassurance if nothing else? I'm wondering if the dehydration is still impacting, Dr Google says it takes 24 hours to sort itself. Your paw may be back in the morning.

If you get really worried then phone for an ambulance, paramedics can assess and advise or phone 111 for the out of hours service. Please don't sit and worry on your own.

Being discharged from hospital is huge, it can be very disorienting, really hope that's what it is and sending you both love, hang onto hope.

As Cornergran says , it is very tiring and confusing being taken from one environment to another , get more fluids in , within his limits of course . I hope you get some rest tonight and tomorrow is another day

No answers Maw but a huge (((hug))) and please take all the help and advice on offer.

Go cruising with me more?

That was to downsized

Maw can he use a bottle??

Maw, I am so sorry to hear of your awful day. As others have said, if you are really worried, please seek help for both your sake.
You will be no use to Paw, if you become ill. I have been in a similar situation with my mother, so I know how worrying and exhausting it can be.

When OH was still mobile and upstairs , I was afraid he would fall down the stairs as the bathroom was just at the top . First night of bottle use I heard him at the bathroom and staggered out to find him emptying said bottle in the loo !

No answers Maw, I`m sorry, but I truly hope that things start to get better.

Maw. I am sorry to hear that. If it's any consolation I would find it hard to deal with my OH in that situation . He tends to get stressed with any health issue s and gets stroppy or ignores any advice. His aspergers traits become more obvious. Which leads any poor carer to tear their hair out. Sending ( Virtual (hugs.)

Maw so so sorry that this is the situation at home. I sincerely hope that a night's sleep may improve things for both of you. Please accept all the help that you can get, even if it means admitting Paw again to get to the bottom of the problem.

If you want help I would ring 999- a team will be on your doorstep within minutes to assess the situation.

You need rest as well, that is what is worrying me. Hugs from me.

Hello Kitcheners
Only usually lurk at the door,
But have been following Maw and Paws troubles.
My late father often spent a number of weeks in hospital
As his carer I experienced similar problems regarding dehydration and general confusion when he was discharged.
I was told that because My DF had been hospitalised for a long time he had become institutionalised and he would need time for readjustment.
This maybe why Paw is reacting the way he is at present.

He did readjust and eventually we were able to establish a routine that worked for both of us
It is early days
Take whatever help is on offer.
You can always cut things out at later date.
Register that you are carer at your Drs surgery.
I found that the Drs were very sympathetic to my well being as a carer.

Wishing Maw and Paw a peaceful nightand a more hopeful day tomorrow

Maw I wish I lived nearer and could come to help. Lots of wise words said from others about the changes on discharge from hospital but oh! what a dreadful situation for you both.

If you are struggling in any way PLEASE don't hesitate to tell your gp/carers agency/hospital/ANYONE AND EVERYONE. You are no good to Paw if you are wiped out yourself. The last thing I want to do is undermine your abilities but please be the sensible person you usually are and ask for help xx

Not institutionalised cherrytree I think, he was much more independent when he was still in hospital. I can accept exhaustion as part of it but hope the mental confusion is down to dehydration and that it can be sorted The Catch 22 is that he won't reach to either bedside table and take a drink! If I give him the glass he is so shaky I have visions of him spilling down his front.
Not the problems I was expecting and if hevis no better tomorrow he may well need further treatment

Deep breath maw, you've had a bad day. Coming out of hospital is always traumatic no matter how much you've been looking forward to it.

A couple of things. My late mother went into hospital with dehydration and I was convinced she'd had a stroke. She was not making any sense and staring into space. Her hands kept waving in the air as though she was grasping for something. A few days later she was much better and couldn't remember anything about her 'funny turn'.

When my DH came home after his stroke I couldn't stop watching him all the time to make sure he was still breathing. He wasn't as poorly as paw but it still took us several days to get back to any semblance of normality at home and there were lots of problems.

Not surprised about the wet bed if he slept for 12 hours. Hope you have a better night tonight and better day tomorrow but it is normal I think for someone who has been in hospital for a while to not just settle back in straight away when they get home. It takes a little time. Take all the help you can get. Lots of ((hugs)) and a large

Oh dear maw, have been out all day and hadn't caught up with your today's posts. I'm so sorry it been such an overwhelming start to this new situation. Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and can't imagine how I'd be coping with it all. X

maw would paw be amenable to drinking from a beaker with a spout, if he is shaky? also, would he countenance incontinence pads if that's a problem? sounds awful but it would make him more comfortable and maybe make your life slightly less bad. Goodnight to you both

I don't have any words of wisdom Maw so I'm sending a hug, wine and cake to be freely applied as necessary .

I do hope you can up Paws fluid intake to improve his dehydration .

Take heart - even the worst day is only 24 hrs long ! Hopefully tomorrow will be better x

Just caught up with the kitchen. Sending best wishes Maw, hope you can get the help you need and keep up your own strength or maybe

Using incontinence "pull ups" but his large incision hernia means they are not a great fit on one side and have clearly leaked round the legs.
I thought "personal care" was my big no-no but as it doesn't feel like "my" paw I am coping much better. He is too far out of it to be embarrassed anyway.