For a while I was involved in a child contact centre and observed the vast majority, well over 90%, of resident parents insist the contact parent manage the child according to their routine. So, feed the same foods, change nappies at the same interval, ensure a nap happened (even if this meant in essence the only contact was with a sleeping child), play with the ‘favourite’ toy and so retain control. It doesn’t sound as if your grandsons Mum has given any indication of routine, favourite meals or toys squibsy. It would be perfectly reasonable for your son to ask in a non confrontational way, so he can ensure the little boy has a familiar routine during their time together. That may give some idea of diet, or may not. If there is no answer then let it drop.
Should contact be broken with a court order in place then your son must return to the court. I do agree, the things that worry you could well be an indicator of diabetes, Nothing is certain without testing. If your son is nervous about arranging this it may be worth checking with Children’s Services or your solicitor to be certain it is acceptable.
I’m not sure how long your grandson has been seeing you and his Dad. Have Childrens Services taken your family’s concerns seriously? Any investigation underway?
I’m sorry you have this worry rather than joy at spending time with your grandson. It occurs to me the NSPCC have a helpline which could offer you informed support or signpost to a more appropriate place. I’m pleased the little boy can now be with his Dad and family and hope you feel more content about his care very soon. Wishing you all well.