Why didn't my sister let me know...

A mum will always say she 'is fine' to someone on the phone! not the sisters fault!

I think my first text would be to thank her profusely for being so kind and dependable acknowledging that her dedication and care does mean a great deal to you. Let some water flow under that bridge before you broach what is bugging you.

Maybe you should contact her? Maybe a daily text? What can you do to help your sister?

Hi HazelEyes, I understand your feelings of upset and frustration only too well… my sister and I have never been good at communicating with each other, and it can be especially difficult in times of crisis. She too is very good at withholding information…

You can’t change your sister’s ways, so it’s better for you if you try to accept that. You’re doing the best you can. Maybe just try to keep the communication going in whatever way is possible? Wishing you all the very best.

Hi HazelEyes, your sister probably thought that your Mum would be better " the next day" and didn't want to bother you.

Your Mum might have told her not to bother you.

Maybe you could explain to both that you would prefer to know if your Mum becomes unwell at the time rather than later but I'm not sure how you can make them do that.

I am sure you are doing your best to stay in close touch.

Texting is very simple and an easy way to keep in touch. Maybe a text every couple of days to your sister will help keep you more informed of your mums health.
Dealing with a sick loved one can be very time consuming.

She may have been used to your mother's health fluctuatng and only got concerned when she didn't return to normal health afte a couple of days.

It is very difficult to reach any conclusion about why she didn't tell you. The answer lies far back in the dynamic between you, your sister and mother. But in your situation my response would have been to ring my sister and ask her, not in an aggressive way, but just so that we could discuss the issue and agree what should happen next time she is ill.

Ask your sister why she didn't let you know sooner. Of course do not be as blunt as that but if you feel she should have told you sooner then find out why she didn't and how in future when this happens she will try to let you know earlier.

Maybe she was super busy with the new developments?

I think it depends on the family dynamic in all honesty. Obviously it is good she is caring for your Mum - is this with paid care alongside? There are loads of reasons why she may not have told you straight away, some will be negative and some will be positive (like not wanting to worry you)

I don;t think only ringing your Mum once a week is weird btw

Maybe your sister hadn't realised how poorly your mum was and didn't want to worry her.

Very elderly people's health can deteriorate very quickly, certainly within less than a week and it does sound as though your mum has variable good health if this has happened before. It's quite feasible that even though you called and chatted last week, she could easily have become ill a couple of days later. Maybe keep in more frequent contact with your sister for more up-to-date news?

She has let you know she sent you a text, maybe she's been busy dealing with your mum. Do you really only talk to your mum once a week?

Perhaps if you called your sister or mother more regularly you would have known.