Mental illness

Thank you, Micelf - unfortuantely, my daughter is still very badly affected, which in turn has affected her children. I am sure every mother who has had a sick child has wished she could take on the illness herself. I don't know whether anger is a useful emotion, but I am still incensed that the surgeon, who had 75 complaints made about him to the GMC, was allowed to go on carrying out operations and ruin the lives of another dozen women.

That is appalling. Is the butcher still practising? Anger helps, I think. Especially if it can galvanise people to take action to try to change things. But I know the GMC is pretty ineffective. And slow. It is shaming how hard it is to remove incompetent professionals and how easy to sack competant and hardworking people at the bottom of the pile.

greatnan watching you child suffer and feeling helpless to do anything is a dreadful thing to have to go through.

And vamp too often suicide does seem the only way out, but its not 'the right way for everyone' if by that you mean those left behind.

I was just trying to explain how your thought process works when you're on the brink. Of course in the cold light of day and thinking logically suicide is a terrible thing. The effects on those left behind are horrific.

greatnan I think anger is, sometimes, a very useful emotion. It promotes action which otherwise might not have occurred. In your case it think it was valuable and worthwhile.

vampirequeen I understand what you mean about the distorted thinking that comes with depression. Someone very close to me attempted suicide and afterwards he told me that he had thought we would all be better off without him. He had clearly thought it through and was able to catalogue all the positive things we had which would (in his mind) compensate us for his loss. Of course he could not have been more wrong but as you say, it doesn't feel like that to the sufferer.

Greatnan I agree with Butternut that anger can be a useful emotion, but it can also be toxic when it has no outlet. Please be careful that it does not destroy you. I speak from bitter experience.

Thanks for the explanation of PTSD. It sounds absolutely horrific. I worked for a mental health charity which supports people find and furnish homes, cope with the benefit system, cope with life as they leave the care system. I was the receptionist so had no training in recognising or giving names to symptoms although inevitably I picked up a bit along the way. It was better that way as I could relate to people as they presented on the day and I got to know and respect a lot of them very well.
Personally I've only suffered depression following on from post natal depression. Been to the edge, looked over and managed to get back. But I did glimpse the pit and have an inkling of what it's like down there.
It really makes me angry that mental illness is often considered, by those who think themselves sane, as something to be despised and looked down on. But survivors of mental trauma are the most courageous people I've ever met. And often the nicest too. That's why I think that talking openly is so important to help those who haven't 'been there' understand a bit more, know how to help a bit more, know what to say and more importantly what not to say.

http://www.ts-p.co.uk/knowledge/publications/press-releases/gmc-hearing-into-conduct-of-dr-david-bruce-jackson

This is a report from one of the many solicitors who were representing Jackson's victims. Sarah Harman (Harriet's sister) conducted a class action for many of them. I knew nothing about medical negligence claims and just chose a solicitor at random from the list of those who could handle legal aid cases (my daughter did not get any as the value of your house is taken into account. Nobody explained how she was to suppose to sell it and move house when she was totally disabled). I found her a 'no win, no fee' insurance company. If I had not been able to fight her corner, take her to consultations, answer legal letters, etc. she would have got nowhere.

The sad thing is that Jackson had removed my daughter's gall bladder about five years before and she was very happy with him. Something happened - perhaps he developed a neurological condition, or some degree of dementia, which impaired his skills and judgement. He asked the GMC to allow him to deregister voluntarily because he did not want his own medical condition to become public knowledge. He now rents out his large farmhouse near Canterbury for weddings.

I am most angry with the system that did not pick up on his many failures and the team who worked with him and said nothing.

No, I won't let my anger destroy me - that would give him another victim. I just keep a close eye on the Fitness to Practise hearings of the GMC and all statistics about medical errors in UK hospitals.
To read the report, right click on the link and click on 'Go to copied address'.

How in heavens name was he able to continue for so long? Doctors are trained to observe, how come none of his colleagues noticed that he wasn't quite himself?

Nfk, I could write a lot about what happens to whistle blowers in the NHS! I now belong to an organisation that reports on what happens to them there and in other situations, and helps to protect them.
My daughter was being treated privately at the Chaucer in Canterbury, so I suppose the team were all being paid handsomely.
Any surgeon can make an honest mistake, even two, but to go on operating for so long almost defies belief.

That's really terrible. I think if I were in your position I might be dabbling in a bit of arson - or at the very least slashing the tyres on his Bentley!

Sorry I didn't do all the MH things I said I could help explain but it was tiring just doing depression. So here's anxiety.

Imagine being very very scared. Your muscles tense, your heart beats faster, you breath faster....you body prepares to fight or run. But you have nothing to be scared of. You tell yourself there is nothing to be scared of but your body has gone into overdrive. If you're lucky it stays at this level. If not you become weepy, can't eat because your body has shut down your digestive system, tremble or shake and the panic attack starts big time. Everything becomes brighter and louder as your senses sharpen. Then the over breathing begins. Slowly at first then faster and faster. You can't get the air in. You gasp. People stare. You're actually taking in too much oxygen hence breathing in and out of a paper bag helps. If it keeps going your fingers, toes and lips begin to tingle. Your hands begin to clench into claws. You feel as if you're going to die. You become light headed.

You adapt your life so that you can feel safe. You start to avoid certain situations. If you're not careful you can become a prisoner in your home. Life becomes a battle to do what other people do. Sometimes you manage it and sometimes you don't.

That's a perfect description of how I felt when I used to get panic attacks, vampirequeen. It's horrible - and it didn't help when my doctor diagnosed 'anxiety neurosis' and put me on valium (this was the 80s)! Thankfully I learned to cope with the attacks and haven't had one now for years, but the experience did make me aware of how vulnerable we can be mentally when stress and worry take their toll.

I wonder if someone could offer me some advice. I am 52 and have two brothers and sisters all older than me. My eldest brother is 71 and over the years has had depressive episodes which because I am so much younger I wasn't really aware of or involved in his care at all. Our parents are no longer alive but we all sort of pull together as a family as adults, however his 'episodes' seem to be getting more frequent and worse. Recently he moved into a new flat in an almshouse and got into a real state about the move. He dissapeared last week and was found some way from his new flat not knowing who he was, where he was or where he lived and ended up in hospital with what they describe as anxiety related amnesia. He has been tested and they say he is not physically ill but we don;t know what to do or how to look after him. He said he just wanted to walk and walk. The only thing I can think of is that we all try and visit him once a week to keep an eye but we never know when he is going to be alright or not. Is there any help we can get? I forgot to add - myself and my sister live in the next town and other sister lives overseas and only one brother near him but even so would like to know whats happens in these situations. Thank you i would be grateful for any input with people in similar situations.

Oh fluffy what a worry for you! I hope that the situation becomes better for all concerned.

VQ , your description of depression rings true. I am currently back on the tablets,first took them about 4 months after my son died, my GP thought that I had a delayed reaction, and he now thinks that this time around it's a delayed reaction to being made redundant back in March.

The real bugger of it is the "catch 22" thing. I would more than likely feel better if I had a job, but feeling like this doesn't put one in the best frame of mind for either job hunting or interviews (those that I actually get)

Much love and thoughts to all either battling the dreaded black dog, or trying to support friends and family who are there.

Oh dear that does sound a worry. I think anxiety related amnesia can strike other age groups. I knew someone in his 50s who got off a train in Paddington and really could not remember why he had come to London. A one off I believe.
I hope he will settle into the new flat and feel less anxious soon.

Thank you for responses - I notice Greatnan mentioned the Chaucer -we are in that area - I wonder if you have come across any organisations locally that can help with this sort of thing?

Sorry, fluffy, I live in France and my daughter moved from Canterbury to Yorkshire several years ago. Have you asked your doctor if he/she knows of any appropriate groups?

O.k. - thank you for replying that's nice. I will ask the GP. Hope you are enjoying living in France - how lovely. x

I suffer from depression and have been on anti depressants for nearly 2 years. Everytime I try to half the dose I end up at home crying my eyes out! And yes I have thought everyone's life would be better if I wasn't there anymore. However I also know the other side as my 1st husband took his own life, we were seperated at the time but my then 11yr old daughter was with him and I know the effect it has had on my children. I know I could not go through with it because it would really upset both children, who incidentially also suffer from depression as my father did. It appears we have a genetic link to depression . I am very good at putting on the 'smily' mask. Only my daughter and son know.
Just to be able to write about it is good

jcj - I am so sorry you feel so low sometimes and I hope you will come here and pour it all out when you need. I found it helped me to talk about my daughter's mental illness and drug addiction.

thank you greatnan

Jcj hope you have a good night and stay with us

The mask is something we develop to help ourselves function in the world but the mask is tiring to keep up. I belong to a mh peer support group Jcj. It's a good place if you want to talk about anything. It's not just depression and illness though ...we discuss everything and because it's a small group we're more like a family. At the moment we're winding up one of our poor male members with double entendres about....well male members lol. What we do give, though, is understanding and support all the time.

MH issues are so challenging. It's so hard to distinguish between what could easilybe called bad, selfish behaviour and behaviour which is a symptom of a Mental illness. We were and still are being challenged by my sister-in-law's bipolar disorder. All her family, especially those closest to her, have been terribly affected. They have suffered violence, the spreading of malicious rumours about them, the consequences of impulsive high spending etc etc. She started divorce proceedings against her husband and was so plausible the solicitor wouldn't believe she was not in a fit state to do so, like others, believing that her dreadful family were conspiring against her. Now sh eblames her husband for leaving her. My husband finds the way she blames their parents for everything very hurtful as she twists & exaggerates little things they did which were nothing out of the ordinary for parents of their age . She never takes responsibility for herself or her own reactions, finding someone or something else to blame (This is where the distinction between what is the illness and the real person becomes hard). She refused to believe she was ill so was sectioned. She's had some time when she has taken some medication and improved a bit but now she's in the manic phase again, refused help again and has been sectioned for her own safety. She is now appealing against a decision to have power over her finances given to the public adminsitration (in Australia). She refuses all contact with her family. It is a truly horrible illness and situation.