Someone's come for my dad.

Ruby I'm glad that the end was peaceful

My deepest sympathy Ruby.

Ruby my condolences to you, I'm glad that it was peaceful at the end.

Rubylady and others at this difficult time. Sending best wishes. I hope those loved ones go peacefully.

Ruby my condolences to you. Thinking of you and others.

Ruby ❤️

Ruby, love and hugs x

My condolences to you and your son Ruby. Take care of yourself .

Condolences Ruby but so understand your feeling of relief as I felt the same when my mum finally passed away after 3 years in care. Take these few days to gather your thoughts and prepare for the arrangements and stand firm by your wishes for the funeral

Sincere condolences Ruby. I'm glad you had that happy time with your Dad before he had to go into hospital and that he had a peaceful death.

Aw, I am very moved by all your best wishes, thank you so much. It is an emotional rollercoaster but I'm sure that time will heal. The Easter services this morning had me crying, the Pope addressing the congregation and the world was poignant. I am trying to bring some order back to the house as housework got left last week but at the same time rest up and switch off, but that isn't happening as it's there all the time just yet.

I have had an upset stomach, which I didn't expect. Feel sick at times and don't want to eat. But I suppose it's only expected really.

POGS How are things now?

Willow I can't image how you coped with going to the care home for 3 years, it was a very oppressive place to be in I thought. I am so glad my dad didn't stay long. I hope you have found some peace since your mum passed.

It was lovely last night as my son's friends turned up, one with flowers and chocolates and a card from her and her family (her dad is currently undergoing cancer treatment too) and the other, a young man, gave me his time. We sat and talked, watched tv, ate pizza, watched the England match and generally shared some time together which was really nice and special of them to do it for me. I have now got a picture of my dad at my side, in his work gear, drinking his brew, so he did join us last night for our get together too. When the footie was on, I turned him round so that he could watch it.

Dad's funeral is on Tuesday. I had the vicar call round earlier to do a round up of what he was like. I did inform my siblings but neither turned up to contribute to stories or memories so again I have had to do it all myself.

I am currently sat here, with twitching, feeling itchy, really anxious. I do think it because I have been sorting it all out and talking about it tonight but thinking about it all the time. Have I done everything? Will it be ok? Is it fitting enough for his memory? Have I done him proud?

How do I start to relax and switch off? It's been bad enough while he was ill etc but I can't go on like this. Doing it all on my own has been difficult although my son has been great and was with me the other day when I had some official stuff to do, which helped greatly but he only has so much "dealing with it all" patience, if you know what I mean. X

Is there a friend that you can call rubylady? Perhaps you could go out for a meal with someone to try and relax and take your mind off things for a while.

I remember being in a similar position when my mother died. Best wishes to you.

Ruby whatever you have done for your dad's funeral arrangements will be absolutely fine - those that are there will only be thinking of him during the service and not what you've missed out which I'm sure will be nothing. It's good that your son has been there to support you but dreadful your siblings haven't been involved. Families are notoriously difficult at times - I'm an only child so haven't had those kind of issues but I know from a friend's experience just how awful it can be. I hope the day goes well - in my experience sad as it is it's often quite nice afterwards to spend time with those who knew the person and talk about them. We took photo albums to my dad's funeral which everyone really enjoyed looking through. Maybe you could get something together over the weekend to keep you busy. Take care

Coping with a bereavement is something we have very little, if any preparation for. A sensitive minister/vicar can make it easier but I feel strongly that a kind and sympathetic undertaker is the person who can make the most difference. His/her role is to guide you and reassure you regarding every possible aspect of what needs to be done. . He/she should have sensitivity and empathy and be someone you can lean on in the way that we are supported by a midwife at the other end of life.
I was lucky in that the undertaker when I lost both my parents was a family friend and had been at my own wedding 27 and 30 years earlier. Warm, motherly , highly professional it was a comfort to know they were in "safe hands" and that she and her staff showed not only respect but the affection of someone who had known them all her life.
Thinking of you rubylady , what you are doing with love is the best a daughter can do for her father.

ruby You've done your best, try not to fret too much and look after yourself. It's a distressing time.
Your siblings should be ashamed of themselves.

Bless you ruby, you are doing a grand job and it will all be fine. The undertaker and the minister will make sure everything is OK.

When my dh husband died I was dreading the funeral on so many levels, but the professionals dealt with it and everyone was there I hoped would be there.

I was quite moved by the numbers of people who turned up and the way the undertakes were so kind and reassuring.

My own dad died when I was only 20 and it left a huge gap. I still miss him and my husband too.

Stay strong Ruby

Just picked this up ruby. Sorry for your loss. for you.

ruby you've done so well on your own and your Dad will know you did is the right thing. Hang in there.

Yes, hang on in there Ruby . The professionals do everything on the day of the funeral and your son will be with you, your Dad would be proud of you, you're doing everything I'm sure.
It's normal to think you've missed something. On the morning of my Dad's funeral I was in a panic because I hadn't asked anyone to carry the coffin, I rang the funeral director and she said, don't worry we do that.
It will go smoothly, I promise.

I can only repeat what the others have said ruby. Your undertakers will see you through. They do this many times and will know exactly what needs doing. You have done so well

Hi Ruby

I shall be thinking of you on Tuesday along with all the other lovely gransnetters who have posted such warm messages.

As for your question re my circumstances that was very generous of you to ask but as this is not about me all I will say is she is out of ICU and back on the ward, all going OK but lord knows how she 'bounced back' from where she was. They are even talking of letting her go home as she has a care package in place so as soon as she will be sent home.

Tuesday will be a difficult day but be assured we will be with you in spirit. [hugs]

I'm so very sorry ruby. I will be thinking of you on Tuesday ( )

Ruby please don't worry about the detail of your Dad's funeral. The Minister or Funeral Director would have pointed out anything you had forgotten. My experience at the funerals of my parents and close friends has been that the Minister, Funeral Director and all the professionals involved are unfailingly kind and helpful. They will manage it all discreetly and gently. You have managed so well. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.

Thank you to each and every one of you. I will be taking all your good wishes with me tomorrow and remembering your kind words. It gives comfort at a time like this to be surrounded by people who care, take time out to comment and wish me well and to think of me tomorrow. I hope you all have a lovely day yourselves and that the sun is shining for you to be out in it and feel the warmth and promise of a summer to come.

POGS That is good news. I am glad that your relative (which relative is it?) is getting better and able to get back to her own home, it must be a relief for you and a bit of a shock probably when you were at her bedside only a few days ago, thinking she was really poorly. The body is amazing. Let me know how things go.