Grandaughters bedtime

I would say you need to look at what this behaviour achieves. Obviously she gains something. Her bed time would remain exactly the same if I were dealing with her (but I am quite horribly strict!)

nannakathy does your DGD cope without so much sleep? Does she fall asleep at school or become tired? We are not all built the same with the same time clocks.
Try looking at sleep techniques on the internet e.g. having a warm bath then a story, perhaps some warm milk and genaral wind down time.
Is something worrying her? Is she frightened of the dark? There are numerous reasons why she might not go to sleep at a regular time.
If she is truly not tired at that time it is almost impossible to make yourself sleep if you can't. My DGD would go to sleep ok but would then wake up at 5am every morning no matter what time she went to bed. This went on for a long time till she grew out of it and was able to amuse herself. The more wound up mum gets the worse it will be. Try a change of routine or something.

If shouting and screaming means that she is allowed to stay up, then there is the answer. She should be put to bed, however many times she gets out. It won't take long if boundaries are adhered to without a fuss.

I don't want to cause you any other concerns but children with ASD have trouble sleeping and find it difficult to relax. Is her room a quiet place? There could be numerous reasons for her wakefulness.

I had a friend who's little one started doing this. She turned the TV and lights off and went and got herself into bed, leaving him sat in the dark. He soon moved

Could she be over tired?

"Kicks and punches" ? Has this child showed physically aggressive behaviour before?

You cannot make a person - adult or child - fall asleep. You can, however ensure that they go to bed at a set time every night and insist that they stay there quietly, reading, drawing, playing with a toy, listening to music until they are ready to sleep,

My granddaughter goes to bed at 7.30 every night but very rarely goes to sleep before 10- 10.30.
No problem getting up and is ahead of her age in maths and English.

I suspect she is frightened - children of that age often have irrational fears: the dark, what's under the bed, will an earwig crawl in my ear and not be able to get out......etc. Maybe she is tired, bur frightened to be in bed on her own. She may truly feel her life is in danger and in her tired and frightened state is hitting out.

My DD used to be like this. In the end we would send her to bed with a promise that if something was upsetting her she was allowed to bring her duvet and pillow and settle herself down on a mattress that we put at the end of our bed - but the rule was that she must not wake us up. WE made a bit of a game of that - see how quiet you can be! We often used to wake and find her fast asleep at the foot of the bed. She grew out of it - just knowing she had a safe bolthole was enough to settle her down.

I wouldn't worry about lack of sleep - one of my DDs was awake till midnight from birth - the rule was she did not have to try and sleep, but she must stay in her room - we gave her audio books, and when she learned to read she would just get lost in a book till she fell asleep.

We had the same experience as luckygirl with one of ours who learned to stay in his room, reading when old enough. He was always calm though. It is worth checking if your granddaughter is scared, is she worried, has she heard something scary about bed times, or the dark, might she be afraid her Mum will disappear in the night? Imagination triggers all sorts of fears at any age, at six imagination can take over. Would something to listen to help her? There are relaxation cd’s for children which might help. Try not to worry too much. Let us know how she gets on.

When my DC were young they were placed in their rooms and put to bed, obviously I could not force them to sleep but they were not allowed back downstairs. They could call me and I would sit with them if they were poorly.

mine were never sleepers ,we gave them a shelf beside their beds with books a drink and a snack .They always had a light so if they wakened they could see to amuse themselves.My GC are all great at bedtime ,but we've stuck to a routine since birth.Bath,warm drink and a story.Make sure they have quiet time for at least anhour with no tv etc before their bath and I use a sleep spray for our smallest who thinks monsters are allergic to the lavender...well it works for her and the lavender helps to settle her too.

Children can have all sorts of unspoken fears which may seem absurd to adults. When I was a little younger than your granddaughter's age I was terrified that my parents would die during the night but believed that they would be all right if I stayed awake. I can trace this back to the first death in the family that registered in my child's mind – that of my grandmother. I wasn't grief-stricken, although my mother, of course, was. It's just that the enormity and implacability of death struck fear into my heart.

I am not suggesting that this is your granddaughter's fear, but it could be something as serious for her and as unexpected for you that keeping her awake.

I agree with other posters it’s most likely a fear that’s arisen out of something that’s nothing, and the clue is ‘she used to go to bed very well’ Please don’t think about medications for sleep
At six she is an ideal age for a star chart with a small present at the end of a week without fuss
If she does have an unsettling fear, how your daughter reacts can be the difference of the little ones ways of dealing with fears throughout life When a fear isn’t addressed it gets bigger and bigger and should never be dismissed as it is very real to her
You don’t say how it eventually ends each night ?

I agree with other posters, allay any fears your granddaughter may have. Then encourage her to stay in bed even if she does not sleep. Books, tapes etc can all be used but not screens. I would avoid the medication route at all costs.
I hope things improve soon.

I suspect she isn’t tired at 7-30 and needs less sleep at 6 than she did previously.
Compared with most of you, we must have been very lenient parents with regard to bedtime! Our children (had 5 of them) were rarely in bed before 9 pm, we enjoyed a relaxed time with them in living room after bath, then stories, songs etc. We would watch for signs of tiredness, as obviously getting overtired causes problems falling asleep.

I notice my son and dil seem to have a lot of difficulty at bedtime. It can take them literally hours to get their children to sleep, I think because parents decided 7 pm should be bedtime, whether children are tired or not.

Medication at for sleep problems at 6 is definitely not an answer- some of the other suggestions in this thread about anxiety might be addressed though. I also like the idea of turning off TV, lights etc, but for this child it might cause more problems.

I was strict about an 8pm bedtime during the week even though DD1 didn't go to sleep straight away. She was a very poor sleeper so we had a play quietly but stay in your room rule. It took ages to get to this stage though. We used a system where she gradually got used to us not being with her. When she was in bed I promised that I would come up and say 'Hello' at a specific time. Originally it was five minutes and gradually extended. The only word spoken was 'Hello'. No long stays or conversations. Eventually she got used to being alone.

I wonder if your DGD has got to the stage where she realises that people don't always stay with you and she's beginning to worry her mum will leave like her dad did.

If proper bedtime is 8 p.m., then sit her down and say you need a "grown up" conversation with her. That you understand 8 p.m. is the right time for little girls her age, but if she absolutely promises to go to bed at 9 p.m. very nicely with absolutely no fuss (ever) then you will allow her to be more grown up and go at 9.

Every night you must remind her at 8 that it is bedtime, and is she going to go nicely at 9.

If it works (it did for one of ours) then everyone is happy. If not ......

I do not think the answer is medication. In fact I would say that the answer isnot medication but a change like this will have a cause, and this cause needs to be found out. I doubt just asking the cause will work but perhaps someone she knows and loves talking to her gently about it at a time not near bedtime might provide a cause. You could talk to her teacher at school. She could be unhappy about something there and think that delaying sleeping delays when she next goes back to school.

She may not be tired in which case a wind down routine and then insisting she goes to her bedroom and stays there at bedtime, but leaving her free to play quietly or read until she wants to sleep may help, but be strict about her having to go to her room and stay there.

If she is doing this because if she does she is allowed to stay up then the answer is strictness about bedtimes, regardless of the fuss she makes, is the best solution. Put her in her bedroom and insist she stays there. If necessary sit on a chair outside her room silently shutting the door every time she opens it.

However, the core of this problem is finding out why this change has happened. The solution will then be clear.

Ok, I'm sorry, but I have to ask this. Has your daughter had any boyfriends? Have any of them ever stayed over or even been around in the evening?

I would recommend looking at the mindfulness resource for little ones that Mind do, it’s called Mindful Monsters and can help with anxiety or concentration issues it’s worth a look

I think an awful lot of children’s behaviour issues are a way of attention seeking. I wonder how much time is devoted to getting the child to sleep.
I’d suggest sitting down and drawing up some bedtime rules, then following them with no comments or interaction.