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OH now on end-of-life care.

(520 Posts)
Luckygirl Fri 24-Jan-20 17:10:07

OH in nursing hone with end-stage PD, and he has been in terrible mental stress with paranoia on top of his total physical helplessness. He shot a temperature yesterday and clearly has some sort of infection - probably chest. I opted for him not to go to hospital, as I know this is what he wants. They are trying (and failing) to get oral antibiotics down, and have scratched all meds non-essential for his comfort . We just want him to go in peace now. But he is intermittently awake and in distress that he cannot articulate. They have all the necessary drugs for palliative care.

I am torn between wanting to keep him and wanting him to just go now so his distress is over. It is a torment

jura2 Fri 24-Jan-20 19:55:59

Maw has put it so well- unlike her, I have never had to face that awful reality- but I think this is how I would feel.

I am so so sorry Lucky- what a time you have had of it all - so much stress and heartache. So glad that you all realised that time was running short, and you all teamed up so well to make that amazing trip to the Swiss mountains, just in time, 2 years ago. hugs and xxx

J52 Fri 24-Jan-20 19:57:20

flowers wishing you both peace.

GrannyLaine Fri 24-Jan-20 20:11:54

MawB lovely post flowers

Callistemon Fri 24-Jan-20 20:15:36

Maw has put it so well that I can think of nothing to add except to hope that your DH goes peacefully, knowing that you all love him, Lucky
flowers

aggie Fri 24-Jan-20 20:29:43

My thoughts and prayers are with you Lucky xxx

Urmstongran Fri 24-Jan-20 20:36:58

I was just thinking the same about Maw’s poignant post. She sums up all those thoughts so comfortingly.

My sympathies to you at what must be a heartbreaking time luckygirl. x

Greeneyedgirl Fri 24-Jan-20 20:41:18

So so sorry Luckygirl. Am thinking of you both and sending big hugs at this difficult time. I hope you have plenty of support around you.

Marydoll Fri 24-Jan-20 20:48:04

I have followed you and your husband's journey, Luckylegs, I'm so sorry to hear the news about your husband.
Maw's , kind words say it so well.

mumofmadboys Fri 24-Jan-20 20:50:13

I hope your DH dies peacefully. May you and your DDs have courage and peace at this very difficult time xx

Flowerette Fri 24-Jan-20 21:05:06

Luckygirl I am so sorry to hear of your pain for your OH health
I send sincere warmest best wishes to you both ...and I hope you can get some support ... look after yourself as much as you can .... get some support xx?

Scribbles Fri 24-Jan-20 21:05:26

Luckygirl, kiss him and hold him and let him go with love. You have both fought so hard for so long but to prolong his suffering now would not be kind.

I let the dearest man in the world slip away this week and it hurts so much but you will know it is the loving thing to do. May you both have peace and I wish you only good memories. Xx

Summerlove Fri 24-Jan-20 21:06:03

I’m so sorry. I am keeping you both in my thoughts.

Willynilly Fri 24-Jan-20 21:21:55

Lucky and Scribbles I really do understand. My thoughts are with you both. Love does not die, it follows you, supports you and guides you all the rest of your life.

Marmight Fri 24-Jan-20 21:31:39

Lucky. Such a hard time for you. You have done absolutely your utmost for him and now is his time to go. May he have peace in his final hours and you and your girls the strength to get through the days ahead. flowers

Bellanonna Fri 24-Jan-20 21:38:55

Hugs, Lucky

rosecarmel Fri 24-Jan-20 21:38:57

It's difficult to let go, but you're being there to do so means more than words can describe .. I'll be thinking of you both ..

Pittcity Fri 24-Jan-20 21:44:23

Sending ((hugs)) lucky xx

Kalu Fri 24-Jan-20 21:52:13

Scribbles ?

gillybob Fri 24-Jan-20 22:13:22

Thinking of you tonight Luckygirl . It is very hard watching someone you love suffer. I think you have been wonderful and I wish you and your DH peace from all of this suffering.

gillybob Fri 24-Jan-20 22:14:48

Thinking of you too Scribbles life can be so very cruel sometimes.

Bellanonna Fri 24-Jan-20 22:18:01

Scribbles, I’m so sorry too.

Nanna58 Fri 24-Jan-20 22:43:22

All love and best wishes to you and O H lucky girl x

Nanna58 Fri 24-Jan-20 22:44:37

And to you scribbles x

SueDonim Fri 24-Jan-20 22:44:53

I’m so sorry, Luckygirl. This must be agony for you both. flowers

sharon103 Fri 24-Jan-20 23:25:56

Luckygirl and Scribbles, so very sad. My thoughts are with you. flowers