OH now on end-of-life care.

You have both been through so much my thoughts are with you as you face this final hurdle. May the end be as peaceful as it can be

Thoughts are with you

"Luckygirl & Scribbles" sending you both love and hugs at this sad time .

xxx

He rallied a bit this morning and was able to drink water - he had been virtually unconscious for 48 hours, no speech at all, and not rousable. He was ranting this morning and saying some very unpleasant things to me; but this afternoon he has been calmer.

He is still very ill, but is conscious.

When he started to rally I did not know whether to be pleased or sad - he looked more at peace during those 48 hours than I have seen him in years and I was just hoping he would drift gently away and not regain full consciousness, and have to suffer all the terror of his paranoia all over again.

It is a dreadful emotional roller coaster. I slept on a chair by his bed for two nights, but have come home tonight as I am on my knees and must get a night's proper sleep.

Part of me wishes that he could just bring all this to an end - his future is so bleak if he survives. The doctor did warn us that if he did not go yesterday or today this could drag on. It is so emotionally exhausting.

It feels awful to wish that he had died but life has nothing for him any more.

I think he may also have had a TIA as the right side of his mouth is drooping a bit and the right pupil is smaller.

Lucky thoughts are with you, this must be so difficult.
Try to sleep tonight.
xx

This will be the hardest thing you have to do in your life,all the strength you have is being sapped by the hour.I remember it well and the feeling of a weight being lifted when my mother died.Not because I didn't love her but because I did and I was glad her trials were over.You'll find the strength to come through it too.Sending all my best wishes for you and your family ,and hoping your OH has a peaceful final hours

So sorry for you all

scribbles

It feels awful to wish that he had died

Of course it does, Luckygirl. I felt like that about my FiL when he kept rallying but his quality of life was poor and it was hard work for my DH who had had a heart attack.

But we don't actually wish they had died, we wish that the situation could be resolved. The resolution we'd really like is for things to be back as they used to be, but they can't, so an end to the suffering is all we can ask for.

You've been wonderful for your OH and he's been very fortunate to have you. I wish him - and you - peace. x

I hope you manage to have as good night's sleep as possible.

Oh how awful for you ladies going through this, sending my sympathies to you all .... so terribly sad, and when loved ones are also distressed it makes it much harder xx

You are right Septimia - I do wish that he had died, even though I will be broken when he does, and the basic reason is that he cannot have any decent life any more and we cannot hope for that any more.

Sleep tight Luckygirl x

I understand those sentiments, Luckygirl. It's an exhausting vigil. Please be comforted by the fact that you have already seen your DH looking peaceful and calm and that's how he will look when you say goodbye.

I do hope you can get some sleep tonight.

I hope you sleep well Lucky

Very sorry to read this, Luckygirl, (and Scribbles). I echo Urm, sleep tight tonight.

My thoughts are with you “Luckygirl” and with your daughters. You have all done your very best for your beloved husband and I hope this will comfort you in the days ahead. I hope he will soon be released from his unhappy state and that you will have the support you so deserve. We are all here for you. I hope you have a restful peaceful night.

Septimia, you summarise perfectly how one feels at times like this.

Hoping you get some sleep tonight lucky.

Thank you - I have come home to sleep again - we do not know how long this might go on and I have to get some proper sleep or I will be no use to him at all.

All the family have been with him today. He is asleep most of the time but occasionally is able to mumble a word; and today he managed to say "I love you all" - we will all treasure that. Two GSs went in and dealt with the situation with great sensitivity - I was proud of them.

Wishing you restful sleep Luckygirl , strength to face the days ahead and hold in your heart each small precious memory xx

So sorry to read this Lucky Girl. My brother has PD with lewy bodies too. I hope your OH torment is soon over it’s a bloody awful disease.

Thinking of you and your DH Luckygirl