Black Dog 12

Hope.

Hi all, I’ve not been on for a long time but haven’t abandoned BD just circumstances beyond my control. I smashed the screen in my iPad and although I can access the internet on my phone, I tend not to as I find the smaller screen difficult so have been waiting for a replacement. I’ve just caught up on all the posts since I last visited and am sorry for all those who have had problems. Life events and situations, along with health issues, can be so difficult to deal with and on top of all that, dealing with BD and anxiety issues makes things even more difficult. I hope everyone is coping ok.

I started a new job today! Just 2 days per week as I look after my GS on the others. I officially took early retirement 4 years ago but I didn’t cope well mentally and I find the distraction of a job helpful so now I’m in the mindset that I must work to stay mentally well. My last job was only temporary and this one is too. It’s hard when you’re older getting to grips with new things but like I said, I feel I have to. The money comes in handy too I have to say. I’ve had low times over the last few weeks but have managed to cope thankfully. I’ve got some other challenges coming up too so?.

I do hope everyone is ok and if not, managing to cope. Thinking of you all and sending ❤️ xx

Anniebach I must say, I prefer rock music - Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Linkin Park. How did you end up pouring a whisky for Stephane Grappelli? Did you work in a club? I hope your MT's 1st day in her new job went well. x

SweetpeaSue I hope you soon feel better. x

Doodle How are things with you and yours? x

ScaredyCat Yes, I had my usual omelette and coffee. The sun came out this afternoon and we've still got brilliant sunshine now x

everyone who comes on here Hope you've all been ok today.

I sat down to watch Come Dine With Me, The Professionals, at 5pm, as it had been advertised as being from 3 restaurants in my home town of Nottingham. Switched it on, it was from Yorkshire! I'm going to watch Sherwood later, as it was filmed in Nottinghamshire. Last week showed Newstead Abbey, which is about 3 miles up the road from me. Hope everyone has a pleasant evening. x

Mr Cooper is certainly a handsome cat. Obviously doesn’t need his beauty sleep. ?
Hope you enjoyed your aqua class. I’m sure your lady will benefit from your chat. So many out there would like someone to talk to.
Annie thank you for your prayers. Yes things are looking a bit better at the moment.
Hmm now where were you when you were pouring that whisky, I wonder? ?. I remember Cleo and Johnnie. They used to be in the TV quite a lot. Hope the council are behaving at the moment and not causing you more trouble.
Is it MTs first day in her new job? Hope all goes well.
Scaredycat thank you. For the moment things are better. Fingers crossed and prayers said they keep being ok.
Yes DH enjoyed his day. Now the DGC are older we don’t all get together that often because everyone is busy doing their own thing so it was nice to catch up.
Do you know when your son might be coming to see you yet?
No real walk for us today just from the car park into town to pick up DHs prescription and to collect something from M&S.
sweetpeasue that does not sound good. You sound really poorly, Hope you are ok. Have you tested yourself yet?
Hope things work out ok for you.

Candy hi again. Sorry about your iPad.
Congratulations on your new job. Two days a week sounds a good balance along with looking after your DGS. Hope it all works out well for you. It always takes time to get to grips with new things. I hope the people you work with are helpful.
Well done on coping with things and keeping yourself busy.
HVDY DH is a big Stones fan. We have been to see them at Wembley a few times. I think I’ve got my hearing back now ?
Things are a bit better thank you.
I’m watching Sherwood too.
Sleep well all x

Hi all x

Candy so glad to hear from you, hope you are enjoying your new job, rotten luck with your iPad , I nearly broke the screen on mine, have had so many problems with the internet I had an urge to throw my iPad at the wall, you have challenges coming up ? We are here for you x

Sweetpeasue how are you today ? And your husband x

Scardycat hope you will see your son soon , so sorry to learn
of your sister , how are you? x

HVDY I can recommend listening to Fats Domino singing
‘Walking To New Orleans ‘ when vacuuming, yes slow but great
rhythm ? x

Doodle my moment with Stephane Grappelli and the whisky? We had a jazz festival here , I was backstage, he had a
tendency to stroll off stage for a couple of moments, I was given a glass and bottle of whiskey and stood waiting for his
stroll ! Brilliant musician, jazz on a violin x

Friends I am so sad today, I have always loved tennis, every year watched wall to wall coverage, my daughters the same, I
haven’t watched since Catherine died, younger daughter told me on Sunday she misses talking to me about it, I feel so
guilty, watched yesterday and some today but only feel grief ,
no pleasure.

How is everyone?

Doodle Hope you're OK today. Tested neg yesterday but pos this morning.
CandyGlad you have your ipad sorted now. So frustrating. Im pleased you have your new job and hope it all works out for you. It's difficult to take on new things at any age but, as you say, can be much more challenging when older. You have done so well in persisting.
Annie A lovely story about Stephanie Grappelli. Amazing musician I agree!
So very sorry that you have been so very sad and Wimbledon has made your grief worse. I wish I could say something to help. Thinking of you Annie and sending you love.
Husband seems much better. He had symptoms of heavy cold. I've tested pos this morning though have flu like symptoms. Started with cough today. Cannot go for XRat test now.

Hope everyone has had a decent day.

Candy- Hello again. Well done with the new job and I hope it helps you to be doing something new and having something else to think about- I really admire you.
Doodle- we are hoping to go and see my son and his wife in July. We,ll be driving there via Eurotunnel and then a very long drive. It will feel like old times.
Annie- yes hopefully I will soon be able to hug my son again.
My sister has been and still is so brave .it’s wonderful to,see how she deals with all that life throws at her. We will see her too this Summer.
I,m sorry you are sad , you were brave to watch again even though you knew it would upset you. Were you able to talk to your younger daughter afterwards? Don’t feel guilty Annie these wounds take a long time to heal.
Sending a hugxx
SweetPeaSue- oh I,m so sorry that you will miss your test now after you have waited so long. I do hope you recover quickly from Covid and get rescheduled quickly. In the meantime rest and take care of yourself. Glad to hear yourDH is on the mend.
Love to all

Annie how lucky to be the one holding the whisky.
Such a shame you can’t enjoy the tennis anymore. Without your Catherine it must be hard to get the same fun in things.
Sweetpeasue oh dear now you are positive too.
Hope you are not feeling too poorly. Can you re book your test?
Scaredycat sounds like you have done the visit to your son by Eurotunnel before. It’s a long drive. Do you stop off anywhere on the way?
Had a visitor here this evening who has only just left. I am exhausted so off to bed soon. Sleep well all x

Anniebach Sorry you now find it sad after watching some of the tennis. It must be hard to enjoy things without Catherine. I've just listened to Fats Domino "Walking to New Orleans". Brilliant . My late brother (one of them) used to like Mahalia Jackson, Ray Charles (I love his music too) and Howling Wolf. x

Doodle My husband and I saw The Stones at Wembley in 1989/90(?). We travelled all the way there, in very hot weather and heavy traffic, to find everyone was being turned away - Keith Richards had injured his finger and the gig was cancelled. It was on again a few weeks later so we travelled all the way there again. I hope you and hour husband are alright x

SweetpeaSue Oh no, hope you aren't feeling too rough with it. Can your appointment be re-arranged soon? x

ScaredyCat Not long now then until you see your son. Wonderful. Will you stop somewhere on the way? x

Candy6 Congratulations on your new job. Hope it all goes well. x

I've been up several times since about 1am - that old boy (no, not DH!) has got his sleep pattern all over the place lately. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Scaredycat You will be so looking forward to seeing your son. Not long now. Never been through Eurotunnel. Thankyou for your caring.
HVDY Oh dear. Mr Cooper sounds v confused indeed. I hope he soon gets his body clock back into sync.
Annie My sister sent me a video clip as she was hoovering to the music 'I want to break free'. It was tongue in cheek--she's a private cleaner. She loves setting her own hrs.
Doodle I smiled at the remark about only just getting your hearing back! Your last post was so late, you must have been v tired. V kind of you to think of others.
Earliest appt will be right at end July! Only do 1 day every week. Offered previous week but no good as day after op. Feel extremely tired and depressed about everything. Flu pains improved. Just feeling so v down but to be expected. Everything such an effort. It will pass.

Hope everyone is OK. Love to all. X

HVDY we have seen the Stones, in 1990, 1995, 1999, 2003 and 2018 in Cardiff. DH is a big fan. Cardiff was fun. We stayed for a few days and had a good look around.
Oh poor Mr Cooper (and poor you too) I hope he’s not uncomfortable.
Sweetpeasue yes we were very late last night. I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I’m not used to chatting in the late evening. I hope you get to feel better soon. What terrible luck to test positive just when your test was due.
Not surprised you feel down and disappointed.
How have you been today Annie?

Doodle- we,ve done the Tunnel many times and ferry as we lived abroad for 2 years. I,ve done the crossing many times on my own too. Can’t believe I used to do that - But at the time I loved it. We won’t have a stop on the way except for food and wee breaks!! It,ll take about 7 hours from Calais.
Hope you had a good sleep after your visitor- I often can’t get to sleep after seeing other people and chatting a lot.

HVDY- Ah poor Mr Cooper he,s a bit confused - I,ll think of him when I get up during the night!!
SweetPeaSue- you must be so fed up but as you say it will pass and it will be better to have the tests when you have completely recovered from Covid. Take care and rest when you can.
EllieAnne- how are you today hope you are back to normal after your fall..
Annie- hope you are ok. Have you heard from MT?
Love to allx

SweetpeaSue Try to rest, drink plenty, and get better. The end of July might seem ages away, but weeks pass by quickly (look how this year has gone quickly already) x

Doodle Son1 took his girls to Cardiff for 5 days last year, and they thoroughly enjoyed it. It looked gorgeous. Mr Cooper isn't uncomfortable or ever in any pain, I wouldn't ever let him be. He's been asleep almost the entire day, so I expect he'll be awake a lot tonight . x

ScaredyCat I admire the way you've been, doing all that travelling and driving on your own at times. Mr Cooper is deaf so can't hear anything, including his own voice, which is horribly loud and screeching x

Anniebach, * EllieAnne* and everyone else - hope you're all OK.

I had my usual Wednesday - picked up Son1 from work then fetched his girls from school, and went to a play centre and a pub for dinner. I'll be glad when (I hope) he passes his driving test next month and gets a car, I'm fed up with all the driving now. 36 miles today. Hope everyone has a peaceful evening x

Hi all x

sweetpeasue you must be feeling down and so unwell, sending love x

Scaredycat another journey, you are amazing, go girl x

Doodle the Rolling Stones , I surely must be the only one in
the country who has no interest in them , but not to be such a
50’s bore I did like The Beach Boys !

HVDY it’s great you can fill your days x

I am waiting for results of a test for UTI, waiting for appointment with a physiotherapist, had to cancel 7 appointments with enablement team because ankle not healed.

Weekend coming, I don’t like them, don’t see anyone from
10.30 tomorrow until 9,30 Monday, my carer doesn’t work
weekends. I miss my sisters so much, two live in the same town ,one lives 4 miles from town and my Mini Tornado is living the
single life again, which is good but I miss our chats.

How is everyone?

Scaredycat we live a very quiet life these days. We enjoyed the company of our neighbour (he has recently lost his wife) but like you, my mind was buzzing after he went and even though it was late I didn’t go to sleep for ages.
I think your name is quite wrong. Nothing Scaredy about you. I couldn’t possibly have travelled through the tunnel on my own. I hate driving and am only comfortable just around our local area.
I bet you can’t wait to see your son. It’s nearly July now. Are you going soon?
HVDY sounds to me like Mr Cooper is a much loved pet who is having the best of care. Hope he doesn’t keep you awake too much.
That is quite a lot of driving for you. It will be good when your son gets his own car, Hope you had a good time with the girls.
Annie we all have different tastes in music. The Stones are his favourite band not mine but he does so enjoy going to see them and I tag along. It was nice visiting Cardiff though.
Weekends must be so lonely for you. Wish we were all closer and could visit. Did you find somewhere for MT to move to?
Sweetpeasue how have you been today.
Ellie Anne not heard from you for a while. I hope you are ok.
Went for a walk this afternoon and got home just in time to miss a torrential downpour. At least I don’t have to take my turn in watering the plants. We have beautiful hanging baskets this year. Full of petunias all hanging over the edges, so pretty.

Doodle- oh I really am a Scaredy!! So many things frighten me - but I do try to do them anyway. When I used to drive abroad it was the ferry which I used to use and I loved it- but that confidence is long gone. Hopefully the end of July will be when we go. Glad you missed the rain. I love trailing petunias bet they are lovely.
Annie- hope you don’t have a UTI they are so painful. Your ankle is taking a while to heal have you an ankle support you could wear?
It’s so sad that you don’t see your sisters - I wish you had their companionship and support.
Can’t quite believe I will see my son soon.
HVDY,SweetPeaSue,EllieAnne and all hope you,ve had a better dayxxx

Anniebach UTIs are horrible, aren't they - I hope you get some relief soon. Do AgeUK or TuVida work in your area? Both have volunteers who might be able to visit you. Even a 'phone call might be better than nothing. Re-Engage have volunteers who ring people (I do that myself and chat to a lady once a week for an hour). I wish we on BD all lived near to each other x

Doodle Your hanging baskets sound delightful. I might have a look around for plants at the weekend. x

Went to the day centre today. I won the music quiz (mostly 60s and 70s music). I got a box of Milk Tray . Mr Cooper had a lie-in until 6.30 this morning . Despite the warnings of thunderstorms, we haven't even had any rain today. Hope everyone has a restful night x

Hi all - Late again! I’ve been doing lots of training with this new job. I’m enjoying it though. When I went in on Monday & Tuesday I felt ‘normal’ again for a little while. Distraction works wonders. But then the last few days, when I’ve had more time, the old feelings and thoughts creep in. I wish they didn’t but I know I am lucky to be able to go out to work and I’m grateful for that at least. Thank you so much for all your good wishes. You are all very kind.
Annie - I am so sorry you are lonely. I do hate people being lonely. Like HVDY said, there are organisations who can help. In my area, they have “Community Agents’ they are employed by the local community council (or parish council in England). Part of their role is to help older people in the community feel less isolated. I wonder if there is one in your area? Pity we can’t meet each other ?.
Sweetpeasue - I hope you are feeling better and recovering from COVID. Horrible thing, it just won’t leave us alone will it? There seems to have been a resurgence in my area too.

I hope everyone else is ok. Sending ❤️ Xx

Hi all x

Candy so happy to know you like your new job, yes distractions certainly help with depression, takes one mind off
self . Thank you for your suggestion of organisations but I miss
my extended family, nothing can fill that empty space in my
life, but I was blessed to be part of one for many years x

how is everyone?

You were indeed blessed Annie, as we all are to have some of ours near us. I am thankful and grateful for any time I have. Son's are often busy with own lives but you make me realise I'm blessed. I wish I lived nearer. I hope your ankle is improving. UTIs are the most painful thing. I hope if yours was confirmed you have some antibiotics for it.
Are you interested in the tennis? A big leap from Rugby I know! Thankyou for yours and everyone's caring wishes. We're both feeling better every day.Everyone is lovely here on BD. X

Scaredycat You'll be getting ready soon for your long drive. I'm like Doodle, I only drive locally. About 5 yrs ago I tackled a motorway to Nottingham to see son and took a wrong exit. Then got lost again returning home a few dys later!
HVDY Hope Mr Cooper slept again through the night. You're so right, the weeks and months are flying by.
Candy So pleased you're still finding your job a good distraction. Those thoughts we try to keep from our minds do have a habit of resurfacing to torment us, I know. Annie once said - - the past is another country - - and that really helped me with some of mine. Yes, covid cases seem to be increasing everywhere now.
Doodle I often used to do a couple of hanging baskets in the summer. They look so pretty though they do need a lot of watering. I have some pots in the back garden with violas and lobelia and a couple of tomato plants. I love Petunias, my favourites are the mauve and deep purple ones together. Hope you and your husband are well. My Covid symptoms seem to be mainly headache and nausea now but not too bad thankyou. We've had our share of rain today and during night. It'll do gardens good.
EllieAnne Hope you're OK and everything is not too much of a struggle right now. I remember you were going to your son's wedding--did you wear your dress? Apologies if I've missed this.

Love to everyone xxxxxx

HVDY- yes wouldn’t it be good if we all lived close by- I do feel lucky to have you all to chat to here though.
Well done with the Quiz- that’s our music isn’t it!! Hope you enjoy the chocs.
Candy6 - I,m pleased you are enjoying your new job. Hold on to that ‘normal’ feeling and hopefully it will happen more often as you settle into your work. It’s hard isn’t it to stop those unwanted thoughts and feeling s from creeping in.
Annie- you must miss your family so much - more than words can say. There is nothing more beloved or important. I think that all of us on here think of you as family.
SweetPeaSue- so glad you are recovering from Covid. Make sure you take it slowly and get yourself strong and ready for your tests.
I only drive locally now too but I did many trips across the Channel in the old days. We still love to do road trips wherever we are.
I,m not very good at talking about my health anxiety but this morning I woke at about 3.30 with that horrible head that wouldn’t shut up. I,ve had Non stop AF for 3 days and felt so scared. Had a chat with the Doc who did his best to reassure me - just hope it,ll settle down .
Time for positives- DH is doing the washing up and the sun is shining!!
Doodle,EllieAnne, Rafichagran,and all those I have,nt mentioned have a peaceful night. Xxx


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Scaredycat I'm really sorry about the AF being quite bothersome lately. It must be worse during the night as you won't be able to distract yourself from it. I love your description of the head that 'won't shut up'. Mine does that. Hope you have a peaceful and restful night tonight. My DH did washing up tonight too!

Scaredycat you are still braver than me. I couldn’t possibly drive abroad. I’m not surprised you are longing to see your son. How long will you be staying for?
Sorry you woke up so early. I hate it when that happens and my mind is whirring. Hope the AF calms down now and you have a more restful weekend.
HVDY well done on winning the quiz. I would be useless. I recognise lots of the songs but have no idea who the bands are.
Box of chocs is a nice prize. Did you have lunch there? I bet it was something delicious.
Our baskets this year are the best we’ve had for ages. The big flowering petunias are great as they bloom so prolifically and hang down over the baskets. Such pretty colours too.
Candy I’m so pleased you are enjoying the new job. I hope the people you work with are nice. It’s a good distraction having a job. Hope it all works out well for you.
Have you any plans for the weekend?
Annie hope things are ok with you. How is your poor ankle?
How are you managing with food these days? Are you having any hot food?
Sweetpeasue I realise I am very lucky to have both our sons close by. We don’t necessarily meet up that often because our DGC all have their own lives and things to do at weekends but it’s comforting to know they are so close. Even during lockdown we didn’t feel so bad because they used to drive past and wave at us from the car park.
Glad you are both feeling better. Do you watch the tennis? We don’t watch any sport really. Not one of our interests.
We have mauve petunias in our baskets. DHs favorite colour. We have white ones and shades of pink too.