Black DOG 13

I'm so sorry I can't reply to you all. I do think about everyone. I wonder if it's a different experience having sons or daughters. I expect it doesn't make much difference really. Am feeling sad right now. But the night is always like that for emphasising feelings. Just had a bad dream. They're the only ones I seem to get. They can seem so real can't they? Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. X

Thanks Doodle. I too, have made an appointment to talk to Dr again. I really need help but I don't know what type - pills or therapy. I realise I have had issues with my sisters since I was 18. I'm now 63 and still lonely. I've tried to get on the right side of sisters but I never achieve it for long. I think also they are gaslighting me.
I think I'm highly sensitive which doesn't help. Hence all the mess I'm in. It's difficult to stop your brain from racing when you are in a state because you are constantly searching for a solution. I can't switch off easily at all. On a good note my car has passed it's MOT today- well yesterday. Goodnight!

Allsorts lovely thought provoking post.

Seastar glad you found a positive from all the things going on in your life. Glad you are going to speak to a GP again.

I think a lot of people are still recovering from the isolation during Covid . It's highlighted a mental health awareness among all ages. Now the darker nights are here it can make matters worse. Also with winter is the worry about having the heating on because of costs. I know for me getting cold makes my joints hurt more. So it's going to be lots of layers and snuggle under my fleeces when sitting still. Luckily never cold in bed and not had heating on over night since the children where small . My bungalow keeps cosy once up to temp.

Sweetpeasue I used to have terrible nightmares that seemed real so much so the only way I could get back to sleep was with my bedside light on. This was before and after my husband died. But since moving only happened a couple of times but didn't need to have the light on. Funny how much moving has changed my life. Hopefully you can have a nap during the day. I know my nephew doesn't sleep much. His GP gave him a short term course of sleeping pills but they didn't really work and made him tired during the day. I hope you get some sleep even if it's only in bouts of a couple hours at a time.

Wyllow glad my post got you thinking. I didn't think I could change myself so it came as a pleasant surprise when it just happened both the children noticed a difference. A friend from the Midlands came to stay in June and said how much I had changed. Hadn't seen her since my move we speak and text every week. Like I said I am a planner so when I moved had few goals get the bungalow as I want it, join an exercise class and craft group. And with my small front and back gardens found I was a gardener even have a greenhouse. Before my garden was to big so had a gardener. My husband said I had a black thumb seems it's green after all. Mind you I can kill a houseplant by just looking at it.

My mom always put a knob of butter into her rice pudding because her mom did. I had forgotten that. That's what I love about people's posts they made me remember things I had forgotten and that helps me .

Sorry can't name everyone but all your posts mean a lot and have helped me thank you.

Morning everyone

I have a chest infection, that will teach me to keep going when I need to rest.

I hope you are doing OK sweetpeasue I really don't think you need to worry about gransnet. Maybe you should get yourself to the doctors and have a full check up and bloods done etc, make sure there is nothing physical impacting your mental health negatively.

We are very complex, complicated machines and need looking after

Sweetpeasue I'm hoping you feel better than at the weekend and The GP helped. Yes, I get black dog nightmares and night is the lowest time I think its par for the course in tough times. In the light of day it seems very different.
Seastar I'm glad you are going to try and sort a bit more help, whether its the gentle umbrella of meds or counselling or bit of both. All the best.

Hi VioletSkyhope the infection is dying down. Last night was hell because I'd picked up the family vomiting bug when away, and in a lot of pain CFS-wise as had Done Too Much with family over the weekend.

Took a bit extra chemical help and settled down and the nice thing this morning was at last I got the call from the Women's Abuse counselling people, for initial assessment. I've clearly passed "stage one" but there is..antoher wait. Still feel greatly cheered and my tum has settled.

Sending love out to all Black Dog readers, whether you pop in or not. We can get through Stuff.

Antibiotics are working fast. I need to be at work really or I overthink all the time

Urgh no fun for you Wyllow hope it passes soon and glad you got that call, I hope the next wait isn't too long

VS I feel for you! When I was a TA I hated being off sick (which I frequently was)
I’d feel ridiculously guilty and question whether I was actually ill, when I quite clearly was. So I couldn’t relax at all

Wyllow

FannyCornforth

VS I feel for you! When I was a TA I hated being off sick (which I frequently was)
I’d feel ridiculously guilty and question whether I was actually ill, when I quite clearly was. So I couldn’t relax at all

Argh, me too! Especially when you know the pressure it puts on everyone else

Hi all x

Sorry I couldn’t join you yesterday, physio dept finally apologised for leaving me to sleep on sofa for 20th months,
they want to give me a hospital bed ! Needless to say I was
not pleased and refused their offer. Have sorted the problem
myself.

Ellie Anne hope your daughter is seeking support. I am
thrilled you have joined a choir , do look on this as a step
forward , definitely a ? x

Scaredycat not sure if you should change your user name to
either Water Babe or Mermaid x

HVDY I am staying on the liquid meal replacement, can’t
pay £15 to have a meal cooked. What are you doing about your
aqua aerobics ? x

Joyce would love a ‘hello’ from you, how is beautiful Coco x

Doodle love and hugs as always x

Whiff yes people make a home, I don’t call my bungalow a
home, it isn’t , I would love to move but can’t, it’s great your
move brought you happiness x

Violet Sky hope the chest infection clears quickly x

seastar I haven’t seen my 3 sisters for over 5 years, we live in
the same town and use to be so close, I miss them but have
learned to accept it x

How is everyone?

Wyllow So horrible for you. Hope you're soon better. ?
VioletskyYou too. I so love your username. What you suggest with checkup, I'd never thought of. Lost a LOT of hair over last 4 months or so. Had Androgenic alopecia since 40s but this could be also not eating. Yes GP suggests giving mind a rest (mindfulness). Annie's suggestion too.
Whiff Thank you. Nightmares so awful aren't they. I can feel pain in mine too. Not surprising yours came with such a traumatic event in your life. Its lovely that moving changed your life so much for the better.

Last but not least dearest friends Doodle Annie Scaredycat HVDY EllieAnne* Joce and sorry if I've missed anyone, forgive me.

I did see GP yesterday. My mind is racing. Has been for some time now but particularly last few weeks. Hypersensitive. Suggests banal things that keep mind still. One was walking, Annie. DH drove me to sea this morning. At first the beauty hurt. Blue sky gentle white clouds. Tears. But as we walked and listened to sea I made myself watch the white foam and tried to bring myself back to nature when mind wandered to the bad stuff. When we rose back onto sand dunes about 200 Lapwings were circling over the fields. They all veered over our heads and we could see clearly the underwings of pure white with black tips in the sun. It was beautiful. But not the painful beauty I felt earlier.
I mustn't think too much. It will be difficult. Oh, date for MRI came this morning. Friday. Quick. Xxxxx

Yes please go get full bloods... thyroid check, vitamin D and iron

Hi friends
SweetPeaSue- Bad andcdisturbing dreams are all I seem to have too. The worst are those that you can’t shake off the next day aren’t they.
You described your walk by the sea so beautifully- it really is so therapeutic. Walking has helped me so much over the years. My old doctor said that it helped use up Adrenaline which is what makes Anxiety so physically awful.
I just echo Annie - Keep walking
Whiff - I hate being cold and shiver from Oct- April.?
I,m on blood thinners so they don’t help. Last winter DD bought me a heated throw so I think that may get a bit of use this year!!
I,m glad your move has brought you such positive results - you deserve it.
VioletSky- hope the infection clears up quickly- look after yourself.
SeaStar- I,m sorry you have strained relationships with your sisters it must be so upsetting. I love my sister very much and so glad she is in my life especially as she has been so terribly ill.
Racing brains are exhausting aren’t they- don’t know where my Off switch is either !! Good news re the MOT - always a worry.
Annie- Missed you yesterday. That must have been one frustrating day. Do the PD want to put a hospital bed in your Bungalow? Have they got no,conception of what you need and deserve. There must be something that can be done practically To help you move around and get back in your bed again. It makes me so mad for you.
Like your new names for me but I think I better stick with the one I have as fear is still my default setting! While I,m here though sometimes I feel like I used to. Rainy and windy today but went to watch the surfers . We saw a seal in the waves too.
Doodle- hope you are okxx
EllieAnne,Joce,Nanny, HVDY and all wishing you a peaceful nightx

I always tell myself a story as I fall asleep, it seems to help my dreams.

I'm a grown adult who has night terrors and sleep paralysis

Scaredycat they wanted it in the living room, an electric thing, you know my problems with all tec things, remote controlled window blinds which stick, remote control for
central heating which doesn’t work, remote control light bulb
which switches the tv off, and as for iPads !

All I wanted was support to gain confidence to move from wheelchair to my bed in my bedroom.

You are doing so much , it’s fantastic and yes - keep walking x

VioletSky I hope you soon feel better.
Doodle Hope you and your husband are getting on ok.
SweetPeaSue Great about getting the MRI done this week. Hope you'll get something sorted out from it.
Anniebach If you don't want the hospital bed, what are you going to do? You shouldn't keep sleeping on the settee. Aqua aerobics is all virtual now. There's no instructor at all. I don't go today.
ScaredyCat How lovely to see a seal. I'm on anticoagulants too, and my hands are always cold, all day. I wear gloves in the house sometimes.

all on BD, I hope you've all managed to have a decent day.

Mr Cooper went to the (new) vet's today, and was a very brave boy . He's apparently got a mouth infection (his breath smells awful, I noticed it on Sunday) so he had a long-acting antibiotic injection (which lasts 2 weeks) and is going to have his (remaining few) teeth cleaned next Wednesday. He's had a chicken breast fillet for his tea x

I have a mediation tape I use at bedtime. I still mean to buy those lights recommended when I first came in. I'm trying to stay up a bit longer. Spent a lot of the day dozing on and off.

I so wish you could have what you need, Annie. That mass techie solution sounds nightmarish - only any use if everything works...and continues to...and is quickly fixable by..whom? Hope you get more support very soon.

Keep on the with sea walks all. My equivalent is when I get to the gym to do yoga, hopefully tomorrow.

My sis lives far away but we do phone.m

Hello all. Off out to visit our granddaughters other grandma this afternoon for tea and cake. Haven’t seen her for a while so be nice to catch up.
Wyllow I’m doing ok at the moment thanks for asking.
De cluttering or having a good turn out can be quite cathartic (I had to stop and think for a minute there. The word in my mind was lethargic but I knew that wasn’t the right one ?) And as you say will be a useful thing to do if and when you do move. Sounds as though you need a bit more life around you. Hope you manage to locate your Ex and put your mind at rest.
I used to listen to audio books when I went to bed. Particularly those where the reader had a quiet slow voice.
Scaredycat my memory is not good these days. Did i wish you happy birthday whenever it was ? if not, many belated birthday wishes now. Actually, I quite like the windy weather when your out somewhere that’s good for walking. Wrapped up against the elements can be bracing. Try and leave your worries till you get home and enjoy your holiday.
Sweetpeasue I often have bad or troubling dreams. Never really nice ones. They seem to hang over into the morning too.
Hope you are ok. Sorry you’re sad. I think we all get like that at times. Hope something nice happens for you soon.
Seastar if you are highly sensitive there isn’t much you can do about it. I hope the GP can help in some way. If your sisters aren’t being nice to you try and find some company elsewhere . Meet some new people even out on a walk you can smile and chat to people. I’ve made some friends just by doing that. I go through phases of the mind racing and I hate it. It tAkes over everything. When you have worries in your mind it’s hard to cut off when you go to bed. I have tried reading a good book until I’m really tired and then just laying down and trying not to think. Good news your car has passed its MoT. ?
Whiff like you I will be layering up this winter. Have found some old walking socks that are thick and may use those in the evenings. Whiff did your nephew try taking the sleeping pills earlier in the evening so that he was more tired at bedtime. Hope he gets to feel better soon.
So pleased you are happy with your move. Sounds as though it’s exactly what you want.
Violetsky so sorry you’re not well. Chest infection is nasty. Hope you feel better soon. If you take some time off you might get better quicker. Im sure you’ve covered for others when they’ve been ill too. I’ve never thought of telling myself a story at bedtime. Do you make something up that involves you or just some imaginary scene.
Annie that physio department really aren’t much help at all are they. I hope you are going to be warm enough this winter. Are you going to continue sleeping in the sofa? I wish more could be done to help.
Sweetpeasue it’s good you are having the MRI on Friday. Once done hopefully you may be able to relax a bit. Your description of the walk on the beach and the birds was lovely. You should try doing it more often.
HVdY we are fine thank you, diet went by the board today. We bought cakes from a specialist cake shop we visit occasionally. They were delicious.
Oh poor Mr Cooper. I don’t like the dentist either. He is a lucky spoilt cat,

I also tell myself stories to get to sleep. I’ve had sleep paralysis a few times and it’s terrifying.
Annie I don’t think my daughter is getting help. It’s complicated because the people she works in that field so colleagues could find out about her issues. In her last job she accessed help but had to use an alias. She is on a lot of medication.
I wish you could find some proper help. You can’t be getting proper rest on the sofa.

Doodle do you have a favourite book or movie? I just imagine myself as a character I like and change the story.

Ellie Anne it is isntbit, do you get the hallucinations?

Ellie Anne it must be so difficult for your daughter to get help if she has to hide how she’s feeling from others. Could she access help from another county or area?
Violetsky I might have to change my reading style if I’m going to do that. I usually read crime or suspense stories and I don’t think I’d like to be a character in those, ?. I need to think of a nice film or book and try it.

Violet sky no I don’t. Just unable to move or speak.

Doodle lol! Good plan!

One of my favourite is Labyrinth and I just tell The Bowie I will stay if he sends my brother back lol

Ellie Anne I've only had it twice and recently and it was scary and my mind panicked for a bit before I managed to get a grip and put it down to some weird body reaction to the stress going on, but I dont know much more about it.

Doodle you write kindly of others, how are you?

I haven't tackled finding out about ExDH am putting it off but it is looming.

Because...I may find reassurance or may find a can of worms that I cant cope with, and unless the pressure gets too much or a trigger crops up, will leave it until I can talk it over with my worker whom I see once every three weeks.

Todays good news - feel up to heading for the gym.