Black Dog 14

Counselling was very good as in exploring triggers and accepting my life has to be Very small atm. She also will on occasion give me advice re Ex - he has sent out a “see at Christmas I’m so miserable”plea and trying to balance feelings on that. I think it will be a yes but boundaries set before as to how long and what to do (a drive out I think with a Costa coffee) and also will terminate seeing him if he licks off.(means dropping him back home or paying for a taxi for him)
I’m completely flat out with fluey symptoms (CFS) but not surprised after last night so I’m lucky enough not to have to look after anyone else and say under the duvet (with my nice lap top and TV).

Spot on perception Sweetpeasue as to complex grieving and that feeling behind the eyes. Yes you are right its very hard to buy presents now as often they do have a lot. Cross fingers indeed about uterine pain and roll on January 5th. It’s a difficult time of year health support wise becAUse everything except for emergencies just stop. One of the reasons I’m always glad when things return to semblance of normality there. You still need information so hope to comes in the new year. Needless to say ones diet is less than exciting but fish seems OK but breakfast very predictable oh the excitement of Hi fibre cereals and prunes…

Scardycat in the to crying things there is a “big girls dont cry/upset mum in there” but too hazy to pinpoint and anyway she said don’t beat yourself up for something else! Or course the AF is scary as its unpredictable. Are there recognisable triggers? Yes, often feel sorry for the people who are having to deal with inefficient systems and they get the flack.

HVDY was it a good lunch with friend?

Agree Ellie Ann hoping Annie is OK. I honestly don’t know how my DS would react to crying, but I doubt I would ever put him to the test same as you felt except in extremis as in something HE would recognise as cry-worth.

Purplepixie its dodgy ground to name drugs as everyones body is different none of us are professionals....and like I said above…

some are orientated towards “buck you up” but might not be good for anxiety …….and others are anti’d’s that also act on anxiety. Then there are classes of drugs that mainly anxiety targeted not anti-d’s.

Doodle upthread mentioned she was on Mirtazapene which IS very safe and well tested but so are others, but each act slightly differently on the body. I’m on a drug which is mainly psychiatrist prescribed (tho some GP’s have the confidence to prescribe it) which is slightly mind calming

so there ARE real options.

A good way of preparing for a GP is to describe as best you can and succinctly on paper before/when you get an appointment, so you are not left trying to suddenly "Explain everything" on the phone or face to face, and you won't miss stuff out. (I have on occasion sent emails before a session so they can prepare and even put some thought in, or if you come in in person they can scan in what you have written)

Wyllow3 Glad counselling was helpful. Please protect yourself, first and foremost, emotionally if/when you next see ex. I adjust my diet daily (depending on results) but sometimes have branflakes sprinkled with linseed for lunch. Sure you wont mind but think it's HVDY taking Mirtazapine.
Doodle Glad the tummy's better. Not allowed to pre-book appts, though letter good idea if start bleeding again , which Im really hoping won't happen. If it does I know I'll be v worried.

Hope everyone on BD and other past posters have a peaceful night.

ScaredyCat AF must be frightening when it happens. I suppose you have to rest when it occurs. My DH does Sudoku (I can't be bothered with those but I do crosswords and quizzes). It was nice to see you friend and exchange gifts.

SweetpeaSue It's a shame you haven't been able to see your son and his GF. There are a lot of viruses about. I agree that children have a lot (too much). Nothing is a treat now, they get taken out for meals, sweets, on trips, etc., any time and for no actual occasion. It seems nobody has to wait/save up/go without these days.

EllieAnne We worry about our adult children, don't we? I don't think we ever stop being mums, no matter how grown-up they are.

Purplepixie I started on Prothiedon, 30-odd years ago (I don't think they're prescribed now), then 20-odd years ago had Citalopram for about 15 years. I've been on MIRTAZAPINE now for about 4 years. Obviously, they all come with side effects, like any medication for anything. Antidepressants take a few weeks to begin to have any effects, so perseverance is key.

Doodle Glad you and your husband got out today. The town centre here (1/2 a mile away) was very busy as usual, but my friend and I found a cafe - there are lots nearby.

Son2 came round, after work. He stayed for 2 hours. He and I chat a lot. DH never gets involved - he's not good at conversing/giving advice/listening. He makes cups of tea .

Hope everyone has a relaxing evening x

ooop.
mix up doodle and HVDY on the meds.

Wyllow3 No worries. Hope you're ok and have a good rest tonight. CFS must be awful.

Wyllow3 Lunch with a friend ended up being coffee and a mince pie (she has got a stoma and a hernia, so she has to be careful about what, and how much, she eats - she's tiny, like a little bird), but that was good. I think you're very wise to set boundaries when you meet your ex. Despite everything he's done to you, you're still kind towards him. That shows what a caring, good person you are. I hope you feel better soon from the flu x

DH is out, seeing a couple of mates (he hasn't been out to see them for weeks), so I've been listening o my music on my headphones - him next door must hear me "singing" .

Hope everyone has a good night's sleep x

How is everyone this morning? DH has gone to meet a couple of mates for breakfast at Wetherspoon's. He won't stay out long. I'm going there later to meet a friend and her mum, for lunch.

Anniebach We haven't heard from you for a while. Hope you're ok

Hi all x make a cuppa, epistle being written. Wrote last Monday
it didn’t send,I didn’t realise until later in a week which was so chaotic .
Last Monday final of interviews relating to me to being moved to nursing / care home, manager of home I had chosen came to see me, 4 hours later , emails I was accepted. Was to move in
Wednesday or Thursday, Wednesday most likely.
Tuesday morning,uti, no move until cleared. Was upset. 10pm
was woken, ‘your moving in morning, have to move you to
another ward Ready for ambulance in morning.

Wednesday, hours of waiting, no ambulance, if not arrived by
5.00pm back to old ward ! Arrived 4.40, 5.00 in nursing home,

Friends yes only a week but much care, laughter, my own room
and bathroom, French doors so I take wheelchair into area near
me which is trees, shrubs and wild flowers.
A downside, my health had been affected by lack of walking,and several years on sofa, lack of oxygen in blood. But i have a home, the bungalow wasn’t a home when Catherine died and my grandchildren moved away. I am only 22 miles from now. Now have a chest infection, doctor came to see me
5.00am ! Monday, he covers weekends and nights, doctors available 24/7.

Friends keep walking please x

Thank you for being there. I am coping but its hard with the estrangement and my past etc. Catch up soon.

Annie what wonderful news. I am overjoyed to read that at last you are safe and being cared for. I’m sorry you have a chest infection. It’s rife everywhere at the moment but I hope antibiotics will sort that soon.
Your room sounds lovely and French doors too so you can get out. I am so happy for you. Thrilled in fact. It’s what we’ve all been praying for. Bless you Annie you deserve to be well cared for now. Close to your DGC now too. Such wonderful news. Big cwtch xx
Wyllow so pleased you found the counselling helpful.
Good advice to Purplepixie about writing things down. It helps to put your thoughts in order before seeing a GP.
You are kind to consider meeting with your Ex. I hope it doesn’t upset your equilibrium more.
Hope you feel better soon. Stay snug under the duvet until you do.
Sweetpeasue DH also adjusts his breakfast daily depending on his need for fibre. It’s good to have a method you can change around.
We cannot pre book a Dr appointment either but we can phone in on the day in order to be seen. Is it worth phoning your GP surgery now (when you don’t need to see a GP ) and just go through with them how you get to see one when you need to like in the onset of bleeding. I have done this with our GP surgery. Phone up and speak to the receptionist and say how do I go about doing this. I want such and such, working within your systems what is the best method of achieving this.
HVDY hope you enjoyed your time with your friend even though it wasn’t lunch. I tend to sing along with music on my headphones too 🤣. Hope you have a good lunch with your friend and her mum.
Purplepixie you can post here whenever you like. We don’t mind if you’re not up to responding to everyone’s posts just pop in and let us know how you are. Take care

Annie I’m delighted for you

Anniebach. Mavellos news about being moved into a home. French doors leading into a lovely garden, even better. So happy for you. I hope the chest infection and UTI soon clear with the antibiotics x

Annie When I saw your email I was overjoyed. Youve been through some palaver, and I hope the UTI will clear up soon, but where you are now sounds just wonderful. Im just so very relieved you have such a beautiful room and you are near you grandchildren. Some garden to go out into aswell. Absolutely perfect. x

Annie- Oh what wonderful news to at last hear that you are safe and settled in your new home. It sounds lovely and airy and at last you can enjoy the feeling of the sun and breeze on your face. I,m so happy for you . How wonderful to be near your DGC too - they must be so pleased to have you close again. I hope the chest infection clears up quickly - so glad you have access to a doctor when you need one.
What great happy news - delighted to have you back.
Purple pixie- we are always here for you xx
Doodle- isn’t it wonderful news about Annie- finally she is safe and getting proper care.👏👏👏👏👏
Your surgery sounds very sensible and caring- glad you have somewhere like that for you and DH.
It’s really nice to walk at the moment even though it’s raining - so much warmer - hope you,ve been able to get out too.
Wyllow- hope you are feeling better today . I,m glad your counsellor is helping you - you are very generous natured .
HVDY- Nice to share mince pies with your friend - they are the best Xmas goodies. Enjoy your lunch today - so good to see friends when you can.
I don’t always rest with AF as sometimes a walk can stop it- it’s a bit hit or miss what to do. As it happens more frequently now I just try and get on with stuff and rest later in the day.
EllieAnne- thinking of you.
Love to all BDG

HVDY Hope you had a lovely meet up and lunch with your friend and her mum. Your DH must be relieved to have some free time after working.
Doodle Thankyou for being so helpful. I dont think there's anything they can do as I phoned about the problems of seeing 'my' GP a couple of days ago. They say its because of the Christmas week and other Drs holidays that things are worse right now. If I start bleeding again Ill have to see someone else, I expect. I'd just like to know if my GP has referred me yet but will wait now. Legal stuff kept me busy and exhausted today. Not good with technology. I was impressed with your being able to post the birdsong link. I dont know how to do that, must speak to son about it. Hope you're ok and your husband is getting better.

Hope everyone has had a not too bad day. So good about Annie and her new room, plus the accessibility of Drs there.

Dearest Annie
Such wonderful news to read you are settled and are happy where you are. You can get outside too through your french doors , that is absolutely marvellous. So pleased for you.
Hope the chest infection clears asap.
Lots of Love
Megan xx

Sweetpeasue if you want to post a link to something on you tube, when you have the video on screen you highlight the whole of the address in the bar at the very top and select copy (sorry I don’t know the technical terms)
Then you open the message box in GN and select paste. That should do it.

Annie, what stressful time - no wonder the UTI's! but I can picture your room..being close to GC, at last looked after but I hope have got your jazz back (and eventually even Alexa).

xx and catch up with you all later. Just tired and not very "here" able to feel much

(Not so much being kind to nearly Ex, as in charity, more trying to "work through" my feelings as still emotionally attached-can we communicate compassionately.. or more him carry on abuse - probably will see him Boxing Day morning)

Doodle Ive just managed to send a UTube video to DH by pressing 'share'. There didnt seem to be a bar at the top though Im using my phone so might be different. Still a bit wary of trying to send something to GN though. If I sent the wrong thing....
Will have to get a bit more confidence. I might try and send a photo though, sometime. Thanks!
Wyllow3 Dont worry about posting just hope a rest helps. I hope you and ex will be able to find a way of communicating amicably that suits you both. Take care of yourself.

Annie, I am so pleased for you.
Happy Chistmas to all on the Black Dog Thread.

Wyllow I hope your ex doesn’t upset you. I still think you are being kind to him to agree to meet up.
Been out for a meal tonight with some friends. Lovely but somewhat intoxicating evening. Feeling mellow and tired, will try to put worrying thoughts behind me tonight.
rafichagran happy Christmas to you too. Take care.
Sweetpeasue I will try and send some photos of what I mean.

In the image, the bar at the top is the bar in the picture which says bird song at the top. At the beginning of the bar it says aA .that’s the line you need to copy.
If you do copy and paste a link you can always do preview of your post and the. Click on the link to see if it works.

rafichagran Thankyou and a happy
Christmas to you too. Hope you are well.

Doodle Oh I can see the box you mean. I'll check that out. Of course, I didnt think of the preview as I dont use it much. Guess Im pretty lazy with techy things. Thanks Doodle.

Annie just popped in to see you news. I am so thrilled you feel happy and safe at last. I hope your health improves so you can appreciate your surroundings fully.

Annie fantastic news at last 😘
Doodle lovely photo of the robin,
I have a beautiful GD called Robyn.
Hope every one in the BDG are feeling ok
Merry Christmas to you all and hopefully a better New Year
Thinking o you all take care.