Black Dog 15

Hello all, just posting an update but I'll be back later to reply properly. We got up and ready early, waited for the 'phone call from the hospital to tell us what time to go for the CT scan. Nobody rang so by 1pm, I rang them, was told it had been overlooked but to go straightaway. We got there 20mins later. CT done at 2.30, we got the results at 4pm. He hasn't got a clot in his lungs, but has got some fluid at the bottom of both lungs. They suspect heart failure. No COPD evidence. They're going to arrange for an MRI at a later date (?) but until then, no medication or anything, so we'll have to wait and see. He's due back at work next Wednesday, but I doubt he'll go. I'll be looking into Universal Credit, or whatever, so that he won't need to go back to work (he's got 14 months until state pension) x

Wyllow I’m glad you still have a relationship with your first Ex. Hopefully that will make you realise what happened with you second is not normal. These constant threats and unpleasant texts must be worrying. It does sound as though he’s taking everything out in you. Please do phone the police if you get worried. I’m glad you have your sister who you can trust, to talk things through with.
I’m pleased you have a friend in Quakers and managed to meet for coffee. You obviously need a rest in the afternoon so why not do what your body needs.
nadateturbe all you need to do is just post and say how you are. Please if you don’t have the energy don’t feel you have to reply to us all. We understand.
I have a friend who loves jigsaws too. I tried a couple but don’t really think it’s my thing. Took me three weeks to do one she did in a few hours. I’d love to do an art class but have not one iota of talent or colour sense. Your DH sounds like a calm person happy to be quiet and read. Mine does a lot of that too.
The MOT was fine. We knew we were going to be there a while as they were doing an oil change and checking some other things. They made us very comfortable and plied us with coffee and biscuits so can’t complain (well except I gave up biscuits etc for Lent so didn’t have any )
Candy you sound as though life is hectic. Hope you have time to relax this weekend.
Sweetpeasue oh dear you have been having a bad time. Sorry you missed seeing your son and DGS. That must have been a big disappointment but if you’re in pain you certainly couldn’t go. I’m so pleased you felt connected to your son. He sounds very kind. It must be upsetting for all of you that your problems aren’t receiving the attention they should.
I so hope you have a better weekend and things quieten down a bit.
HVDY so pleased your DH got seen and had the blood clot treatment. I’m hoping you went back today for the CT scan and all went without a hitch. Good thing your GP sorted out this time. Hope you are both ok. Must have been a hectic couple of days for you.
Ellie Anne I think most people with faith have their doubts or times when they wonder whether they can carry on.
Like you, I know I would be much worse without it. I use my prayers as a crutch really. Don’t think I really pray in the right way or for the right things but I just hope God can sort it all our. Churches can be so different. I have never felt as comfortable as I do in my current church. It’s quite a lot smaller than the last one. The people are friendly and nice and not opposed to having a laugh. I hope you sleep better tonight.
Scaredycat hope you’ve had a better day AF wise. Lots going in in your life at the moment.

ScaredyCat Any further news about your sister? The hospital, I feel sure, will get her up and moving about (they'll need to do so, they need the bed! Also, to reduce the risk of DVT etc). Glad that you managed to see your friends from the art class. It's always good to meet up and have proper chat.

nadateturbe My legs ache and feel heavy because of the swelling (which I hope will lessen now I'm off the BP pills). The rash isn't painful at all, it just looks unsightly. I hope you're ok today.

Doodle Glad you got your MOT sorted although it sounds a palaver. How are you and your husband?

Wyllow3 Your ex sounds very bitter indeed, but his life and his failings are all his own doing. Stay strong. You're getting on well without that kind of bother.

SweetpeaSue How are you today? Any better re the bowels?

Candy6, EllieAnne and others - hope things have been alright with you today.

Eldest son came round after work, stayed for dinner (Son2 cooked as DH and I didn't get home until 5.30. I've dropped the 3 of them off at a local pub, and I'll pick them up later. House to myself - lovely x

HVDY crossed posts.
Well done for chasing up his appointment. Just shows how easily things can be overlooked. Good news about the clots.
Could you talk to your GP about your DH getting early retirement on the grounds of I’ll health perhaps?
Hope your DH gets the MRI soon and they can treat his problems. Hope you have a peaceful weekend. You deserve it.

Doodle I think our posts must have crossed. He had the CT, thanks. It's not clots, but they suspect heart failure. MRI going to be arranged next . x

Crossed again, Doodle. I'll be chasing things up . Hope you and your husband have a restful weekend. You both deserve it. x

I'm sorry, I cant post much today.
HVDY Im glad your husband has had the further CT scan. You must both be worried about what to do about the future. Hope you both sleep tonight. Youve both had a scary couple of days and need a little while to take things in.

Bowel pain bad and nausea. Somethings v wrong. Managed to get to surgery for Blood tests but no let up. Was told my urine sample back and no UTI as GP told me when he dipsticked sample so stopped antibiotics. Not med thats causing nausea. Thats been getting worse.
Wishing all as best night possible. X

SweetpeaSue Every time I've ever had a UTI, the tests have always come back clear. If I were you, I'd keep taking the antibiotics - they won't do any harm anyway. How long have you had this nausea? There's Norovirus going around at the moment, could it be that? I hope you get some relief soon x

Ive been getting nausea for a long time with the bowel pain but much stronger now. Thanks HVDY. I always get a lot of pain with UTIs. Thankyou all.

Good news about clots HVDY, hope you enjoyed your alone time.
Sweetpeasue sending hugs. I would perhaps finish the antibiotics. Some ginger tea (but you probably take that already).

I've been reading up on heart failure - I've always believed it's best to be informed about things in order to be able to deal with them. DH has got all the symptoms of stage 2 (stage 3 more likely), so now I'm concerned.

Son2 is coming round later, to vacuum his car, so I'm hoping he'll do mine . Hope all BDers have a good a day as possible x

HVDY I was diagnosed with heart failure in 2020 and after seeing the cardiologist he said they will have to call it something different as people think it means they are dieing. It just means your heart isn't functioning as well as it should. Because I had never had an echocardiogram I had it as he didn't expect it to show anything . It did so had bubble echocardiogram which showed I have a hole in my heart which I was born with. With Covid restrictions nothing else was done. In 2021 must have been from April or May started having palpitations and heart going crackers . Many trips to A&E but everytime I had ECG everything was fine. Then in August woke up with it going crackers my daughter got me to A&E before 7am and straight on ECG which showed I was in AF. Told not to move and then on a monitor all day. The A &E Dr read all my notes and ask questions. He was going to get me a referral to a cardiologist and the AF clinic. This was on a Saturday let home on the night. Sunday had an appointment for AF clinic on the Thursday and cardiologist appointment for 2 weeks. AF clinic is nurse run at my hospital but there is a consultant there if needed . Was told I would attend AF clinic every week for a month then twice a month the once a month for once a month for 2 months then if I was ok referred back to my GPs care. Put on one heart tablet for a week and Apixaban blood thinner . The second week taken off that heart tablet as the consultant was worried it would interfer with my tablet for nerve pain so put on Flecainide. Saw the cardiologist and he arranged for me to have an MRI on my heart which was done in the November. In the machine for just over 90 mins half way through had dye injected. The hole isn't in the connections between the chambers of my heart and I have strong heart function. But there is a flap between your heart and lungs that's supposed to close before birth mind didn't. But it's not causing me problems it's left alone. I miss heart beats but then have extra ones to make up. I have paroxysmal atrial fibrillation. I am 64

My brother has permanent AF and has 2 stents in his heart he's 63. He's on lot more heart tablets than me including statins. But lives a full life .

There is a thread on this forum about heart problems . But posted this here as well as there incase you didn't see it. The OP is Cabbie .

I know how worried you and your husband both are but his cardiologist will answer all your questions and will do all the tests needed. The BHF website site has lots of information. And Health unlocked is a forum site there for people with heart problems and found them very reassuring and full of helpful advice and support. Also they have a list of local heart support groups you could see if there is one in your area.

Sorry haven't ignored the rest of you but HVDY needed help so I hope what I had said has helped .

Sweetpeasue everytime I had a UTI or kidney infection my test urine tests came back negative but blood tests always where positive. My GP trusted me when I said I had a UTI and after being rushed to A&E by my daughter and diagnosed with kidney infection I knew which one I had got. Had a period of 8 months of UTIs and kidney infections had 16 courses of antibiotics. Found out only 2 antibiotics work on me. Saw a urologist he had ultrasound on my bladder and kidneys they where fine just recon I had a bad infection that needed long course of antibiotics. Had last UTI in May 2021. A nurse gave me a good tip. When on the loo keep your knees at the same height as your hips that way you empty your bladder completely. I have an ease toilet which looks like a normal loo but taller so I use my grandson's step to put my feet on. It's important to take the whole course of antibiotics.

Hope this has helped.

Morning all
HVDY- I,m glad you finally got the CT scan done. I,m sorry though that your DH is exhibiting the signs of heart failure - hope you get the MRI soon. I do just the same as you and read up about things- it gives you a better idea what questions to ask as well. It would explain perhaps why he is so tired and rests a lot.
My BiL told me this morning that yesterday my Sister managed to go up 2 steps with the help of the physios. She also goes to the en-suite toilet with the walker and a nurse helping. A long way to go yet. I just wish they would consider the stairlift it would so help.
Wyllow- I hope your peace of mind continues. Please keep yourself safe.
You are right I can only say to my sister and her DH what I think but ultimately is their choice- just so frustrating!!!
Glad you have a nice Quaker friend - it’s always worth the effort to get out - just sometimes it’s so hard to make that effort isn’t it.
Doodle- that MOT garage sounds very civilised - tea and biccies.! Always such a relief when the car passes isn’t it.
One of my Art friends has an app on her computer so that she can access her photos and turn them into jigsaws then do them on the computer. So they can be left on there instead of lying around in the house .
AF still constant but been out for a walk and coffee this morning- I miss my old walking self!! But lucky that I can walk with it and it takes my mind off the worry roundabout.
SweetPeaSue- I,m sorry you feel so wretched. My anxiety makes me nauseous - do you think that all this stress could be doing the same to you? It’s nausea but never actually being sick.
I too think you should finish the antibiotics. Hope today is a better one for you.
Whiff- you always give such good advice and explanations . Glad your brother deals so well with his AF. I too just get on with what is at the moment 24/7 AF because the other choice of sitting here scared and worrying would be so much worse. I am a lot older than you and your brother but have only had AF for 6 years. So good to have you with usx
Nadateturbe,Candy,EllieAnne and all friends and visitors I hope you have the best weekend you canxxx

Whiff Thank you so much.

ScaredyCat Stairlifts are good for some people, but if your sister can keep mobile (and it certainly sounds as though she's doing well), it's best to do so. Lack of movement leads to muscle wastage. When I was in hospital, I lost a LOT of muscle mass because I'd had almost 6 weeks of not walking. Anniebach always used to say to keep walking, and she's right.

HVDY I’m glad something was “found” tho troubled about what was found. I think the only comfort I can offer is that he was not immediately given any drug - like blood thinners. Keep up the good work, you are doing everything right.

Yes, dont just look into universal credit but also what people can get if long term sick, it may not be more, but there is a category where people are not under pressure to seek work all the time.

Getting state benefits also depends on your level of savings being under a certain amount, if you have any, and there will be a gap after he has last received a wage.
Early Retirement- has to be worth looking into.

Doodle there are Art “Classes” where you might be aiming to “Achieve” a representation of something, but there are loads of Art Groups that meet just to have fun with colour and materials, honestly, “talent” is not relevant, the wanting to express yourself is all required.

As regards any place of faith, “The people are friendly and nice and not opposed to having a laugh” well that says it all really

Sweetpeasue my sympathies for the bad time you are having. As regards the nausea, which I do get, there are drugs that help: there is a commonly used one called cyclizine. NHS ref:
www.nhs.uk/medicines/cyclizine/
It helps me a lot

A warm wave to Whiff

Morning Scardeycat - yes, I do hope they take the sensible route and get a stair lift, but yes as you say you can only lead the horse to the water as it were……it doesn’t mean to say she can’t use the stairs when able, but gives options…..good walking there, when you can manage it.

Crawled off to the gym, I had quite a nice session but was alarmed when heard that Ex had been there a few days before in the cafe charming the young ladies etc etc. I talked to his ex trainer who knows us both reasonable well, but had no idea of the extent of his abuse. At the time we just discussed his condition, but afterwards I felt so sick of him turning up at my safe place and pretending to be what he isn’t, I’ve just written to the trainer to reveal quite a bit more (well substantially, because altho everyone there knows the broad outlines, its not gone any further as I wanted to keep it away, but if he is bringing it there….and ask her to sound a tactful note of warning to the women staff there.

Thinking of you all and have the best days possible. I’ve found a series of books that are actually engaging me and its a wonderful wee escape!

Nadateturbe Thankyou for hug. I found the little bit about yourself intetesting. My DH loves to do painting and other things at home. Its such a shame you cant get to your art clssses as you'd like. My reading group is now run U3A though started as a college class on Literature. Ive had to miss this a lot too. Hope you're ok today.
HVDY I think you must both be trying hard to come to terms with this new diagnosis and trying to figure out what it means. I hope you can work out the practical and financial changes. Good thing is your DH not too far away from retirement. It will all have been such a lot to take in. Like you, I like to know what's what and will read to find out, though from the established medical organisations. I hope he gets the MRI soon and you can both find out exactly where you are in this. x
Scaredycat It is excellent that your sister is making small steps in getting mobile and I hear your anxiety about her return home. You will feel helpless as things are out of your control. I think all you can do is trust your BIL to handle things with the hospital and talk to the physio about what help she will need. About my nausea, it will come on when my bowel pain comes on so not anxiety. I hope your AF is not so bad today. I wanted to try and post the poem you liked a while ago but I tried to photograph it to put it on here and wouldnt fit on the photo. I'm so bad with techno stuff.
Whiff Wyllow*Doodle Candy and EllieAnne (now Im bound to have left someone out! aargh)
Thanlyou for all of your suggestions. I feel I should say, initially, the running to loo was bowels not waterworks and GP knew this hence scan. I never have UTIs without huge pain. As have had so many it's been put on notes that all specimens meed sending off to Lab. Dipstick tests notoriously inaccurate. Result came back neg from hospital. Because of persistent thrush, caused by antibiotics, I was prescribed a LOT of treatment for this. I'm sure I dont have UTI so balancing act required.
My bowel pain has subsided hugely so been out to supermarket today(Oh joy! Haha) but I'm just grateful to be able to do that. I'm really worried about extent of it when its there and how long its lasting though.
Hope everyone is coping with their problems as best they can this weekend. Thinking of you all.

Wyllow Thanks. Savings - what are they . I'll sort something out, once he gets a proper diagnosis (hope it won't take ages). PIP might be an idea - I get the lower rate of that.

SweetpeaSue Thanks. Glad you were able to get out, if only to the supermarket. It's been cold all day, so we've stayed in (he's watching films, I've been doing the beds and washing - the excitement never ends here ).

Hope everyone's day has been going ok x

Whiff You have been through the mill. I remember you saying we're stronger than we think and perhaps its true. Your strory of UTIs is astonishing. I read an article by Professor Malone that the some infection can 'hide' or bury underneath the bladder lining and evade cure(much more complex but u get gist) which is why longer use of antibiotics are needed in some cases. His theory. Everyone's version of a UTI seems individual to them. If you're in pain and you're not taken seriously by the Dr its a terrifying thing. Thank goodness your Dr believed you at the time. A past friend used to say she 'had a bit of water trouble' but went about every day as usual. I could never understand it. I passed out with a UTI once and had to be wheelchaired in to surgery. Thanks for your words of help.

Went for a walk in the woods this morning. The snowdrops and daffodils are out. It was sunny and I felt quite positive.
But at home had a horrible disagreement with dh about something to do with family. Can’t go into it but I was upset and voice was breaking but he didn’t care. He Just went upstairs to watch snooker on the other tv. I was too upset to do anything so went for a walk on the beach. Dreading mealtime.we don’t often eat together but I make an effort on Saturday. He’ll probably pretend nothing happened as he always does. I was going to disappear to dd for a bit but remembered I offered to watch gds this week because of strike.
Has anyone heard from Annie please? I miss her.

Wyllow I love reading but found I was reading really light boring books more and more and not finding it satisfying. . I'm making myself concentrate and the ability is returning.
I always thought jigsaws were for 'nerds' but I love them. They take your mind off problems, like painting, but easier, just get engrossed in them. I usually listen to Classic fm while doing them. When you're stuck in the house a lot, you need to find things to do other than television.
Very good advice from Doodle regarding your ex.
Doodle I have been painting for about five years, still very much a starter. But Wyllow3 is right, there's no pressure, I enjoy it, and the company (although right now its quite an effort.)
I hope it's been a good day for you and your husband. Why can you not have chocolate?
Whiff you really have been through so much! But the care and attention you have had sounds good. What very helpful posts! I'm sure you have eased many minds. HVDY I hope Whiff has helped you, even a little. And you too Scaredycat. I like the jigsaw photo idea, something for the wee small hours when you can't sleep.
Sweetpeasue We just have to make the most of when we can get out. I'm registered with U3A reading group but haven't made it yet.🙄.
I am so glad your pain has eased and you got out. What a treat. I too have had a good day. Out of the blue, a bit of energy. I had coffee and a look round clothes shops. I bet we appreciate it more than those who do it all the time.

EllieAnne I hope your recovering from your upset. Some men aren't very good at handling disagreements. And not very good where emotions are concerned. Maybe find something relaxing to do or watch alone, and feel better tomorrow.
Wishing a peaceful evening for all on BD.

Ellie Anne the indifference and isolation you feel is very, very hard. Obviously I feel a lot of loneliness at times, but its better than living with a negative partner. Well done on your walks and hold dearly to those who love you at church and family. Annie pops up sometimes on other threads and I hope has found enough of what she needs.

"I bet we appreciate it more than those who do it all the time." Aint that the truth now nadateturbe. I actually really like going to the supermarket. Its friendly, I know where everything is, and can choose treats. Its an outing. so well done Sweetpeasue. It's who we compare ourselves with, or our past selves that makes it particularly difficult. We would have to be saints not to feel sad a what life has become.

By the way, let me tell you the books that have lifted me out of the never reading cycle. the author is called Louise Penny, and her series feature a detective who is kind - but very wise and strong in his vulnerability, and the psychological insights that come out are astonishing and gratifying - but the setting is high quality but easy read detective drama. You need to read them ideally sequentially, and sets of 5 are on amazon for around £18.

"The Chief Inspector Armand Gamache book series contains little or no sex or violence and has been referred to as a kinder and gentler alternative to modern crime fiction.Penny herself stated that "The Murder Stone, like all the Gamache novels, is about love and friendship. About belonging and hope. And finding kindness buried. In the wilderness. In the marrow"."

Well, alas, I awoke from a dream that has now faded, but did my head in, for in this afternoons sleep I dreamt that Ex has come into the house as if he owned it. It was so vivid in detail: I was making a mental note of where the phone was to phone police: he knocked me over ( never done in RL), but not abusive, he was planning home alterations and had ruined some paintwork (he did do that when very ill a year ago). In the dream he went but then was still there, and somehow I reminded myself in the dream it might be a dream....talk about being undermined by ones sub-conscious!

Evening all. How’ve you been today?
Wyllow what an upsetting dream. I had one as I was waking up this morning. Made me feel very anxious even though I knew it was a dream I couldn’t shake it off. I think you are right to warn people about your Ex. I expect he’s been to the gym just to annoy you. Glad you’ve found a good series of books to read, so much pleasure in reading.
nadateturbe I used to be an avid reader but found after using the iPad my attention span waned and I kept switching to other things, I now read my book every lunchtime. It has to be interesting or get me wondering what the outcome is, to hold my attention.
My friend and I did painting yesterday (slightly better than the average 5 year old) . We enjoyed it and had a good laugh about our technique which we copied from you tube. I’m glad you enjoy your art class.
I gave up chocolate, cake and biscuits for lent. I really do love chocolate in the evening with my coffee. I do miss it.
Glad you had a nice time out,
Ellie Anne I’m so sorry you’ve had an upset with your husband. If I remember this has happened before in connection with family issues. He seems not to care about your feelings. I imagine you get upset and he ignores the problem. So sorry for you. I did hear from Annie the other day. I sent her a picture of some snowdrops. I think Annie may read the thread so I’m sure she would be pleased you were thinking of her and miss her,
Sweetpeasue glad the bowel pain is less today and you had the excitement of a supermarket shop. We do take pleasure in small things sometimes. You’ve certainly had a bad few days. The constant worry over UTIs.
I used to get thrush every time I had antibiotics . Got some meds for it in the end. Also had a lot of what I thought were UTIs but that turned out to be VA and was fixed by using Replens which helped a lot.
Hope the nausea is gone too and the rest of the weekend better.
HVDY I am exactly the same. Always do a lot of research on DHs medical conditions. Sometimes it helps sometimes it worries, I tend to work on the basis that at least it’s known about and treatment can be given.
Would your son pop round and do mine to please 🤣
I hope you’re having a quiet weekend after the last few days, Don’t forget you need looking after too.
Whiff how lovely of you to write such and informative and helpful post for HVDY and Sweetpeasue. It’s always good to hear from people with similar experiences. Like you I find BHF a wonderful source of useful information. I get their monthly magazine too.
I had the same advice about sitting with your knees up too. By emptying the bladder you reduce the chance of infection.
Hope you are enjoying your weekend. Are you doing anything nice?
Scaredycat good news about your sister, doing steps is one thing they often concentrate on. As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but……. It is hard when you can see how much help a stairlift would be.
Glad you were able to go out today, hope the AF isn’t troublesome this weekend.
Sorry if I haven’t replied to everyone. I am half asleep really. We had a dreadful night last nigh. Up with DH every hour sometimes twice within 15 minutes. The irritation in his legs and shoulders was so bad he couldn’t settle in bed or in the chair so we just kept plodding round the lounge. It’s very depressing as we don’t know what to do and probably have a long wait to see a neurologist.
Did go for a walk today but it was bitterly cold so didn’t stay out long. Had a nice chat with DS2 this afternoon. Hoping for a better night tonight.
Sleep well all.

EllieAnne I'm glad you managed to see some beauty in your woodland walk this morning, though v sorry you had to come home to the upset with your husband. What you describe is so extremely sad. I'm sure the trip to your DD would have helped just to get away from the atmosphere at home, even though temporarily. I wish I could help. I hope you find some warmth with friends at church service tomorrow if you're going.
Wyllow That dream must have been frightening. I expect its because of the recent worrying behaviour with night time calls. They can be so real. I sometimes have dreams where I know I'm dreaming and want to wake up or I feel I'll be in the dream forever and wont be able to return to real life. Trapped! Thanks for the tip about Louise Penny's books. I dont usually read crime/detective novels but hers sound as if they have a different perspective. I was lent a book from a well meaning member of book group over a couple of weeks ago(retired nurse). It was Whistle in the Wind by Peter Duffy(Urologist) It was difficult reading at times but, finishing it yesterday, I realised how much it helped. The culture of covering up in hospitals, and why and how Drs are pressurised to keep quiet, is far more widespread than I thought. All I have ever wanted to do was understand. All I'll say is it helped.
Doodle So sorry for yet another broken night. I'm sure you will be hoping you both have a more peaceful one tonight. Sounds as if you get a lot of fun with your painting and crafts which is the main thing, surely. The waiting times are so long to see someone. Its v depressing when people are in such need and have pain. So many. I hope you get appt soon and its not too long ahead.
My pain has started to come back again. I find it really strange after this morning. No nausea though. Was told Id need 6 months of Thrush treatment as so persistent. Got the meds in at Christmas when prescribed but Id had a neg swab test so didnt start it. Took 1 tablet(1 a week) yesterday when symptoms started, most likely set off again with antibiotics. Wishing you and DH a good night's rest.

Wishing all a decent nights rest. X

EllieAnne Your husband is indifferent to your feelings. It sounds like a miserable life for you. Are you able to visit your daughter at all? Hope you manage to chat with some friends at church tomorrow.

Wyllow Your ex seems determined to harass you. Going to your gym is one way of it. I think you did right in warning someone about him. The dream sounds horrible and is probably due to the stress you've felt lately about your ex hounding you as he has been. I hope you have a good night's sleep.

nadateturbe You seem to keep yourself occupied. I hope you've had a decent day.

Doodle What a terrible night you and your husband had. He needs to be seen by a Neurologist as a matter of urgency. It's sad to say, but I think it's sometimes necessary to keep ringing, writing, emailing, etc., to try to get someone to do something. I hope you both have a better night tonight.

SweetpeaSue, Whiff, Candy, all on BD - I hope you all have a good rest tonight. x