Black Dog 15

say not so

SweetpeaSue If only we all lived near to each other . I'd try and make you smile whenever I could. I don't suffer fools gladly and she's so damned thick. She won't put my BP up, but this chocolate orange liqueur might . x

🤣x

Evening all
HVDY I would definitely write a bad review of her company! It’s a wonder she’s got one at all as she’s obviously not very intelligent. Enjoy your liqueur.
Wyllow sorry for the problems you’re having with your ex but glad you have the support of your gym friends. Hopefully he’ll get the message and give up and at least you’ve got lots of evidence against him if he doesn’t. It must be stressful for you though.
nadateturbe well done for going to the show and I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hope you are fully recovered now.
Ellie Anne you’re not the only one who is financially dependent. Lots of us are for one reason or another so please don’t feel shame for it. You are doing the best you can.
sweetpeasue I’m sorry that your appointment was not productive and I hope your scan produces some answers for you.
Doodle hope you had a better night and managed some rest.
Only a quick visit tonight as my grandson is staying over so it’s bedtime (actually it’s past it!). Hope everyone has a good night. Love to all including those not personally mentioned xxxx

Ellie Anne no need to be ashamed about anything. I didn’t work when I had my children and didn’t get a job till they were late teens. You played your part in bringing up your family just because your DH was the breadwinner doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to a share of the money.
Candy I’m sorry your son has suffered so much. It’s a good thing he had you in his corner to help him. Slightly better night thank you. Hope you have a lovely time with your grandson. Is he good when he stays with you?
HVDY despite the lack of sleep at night I’m not much of a daytime napped. We were only up once last night for about an hour and half but slept the rest of the time so feeling better today. Fancy sending you a message at that time of night and then getting all your payment details wrong.
If your DH has been signed off for 2 months, that’s quite a while. Is there any possibility of early retirement on grounds of ill health?
Ooh orang chocolate liqueur 😋. Purely for medicinal purposes I’m sure. 🤣
Wyllow I hope your Ex stays away from the gym and leaves you alone. I’m glad your son knows what is going on.
I think your approach to letting others know about your Ex is a good one. If enough people know and spread the word, if he does turn up again he should get a frosty reception.
There’s been a lot of press recently about women being harassed in gyms. So maybe he won’t find it so easy to charm people next time.
Nadateturbe that is progress indeed. All these little steps should be seen as a positive move. Did you enjoy the show as much as you saw?
Sweetpeasue no need to apologise. Ongoing pain would make anyone depressed and low.
I’m not sure if you have the energy at the moment but without going over past history with the GPS who should know anyway, why don’t you write down how you’re feeling over the weekend in a list. Times of pain, bowel pain bladder pain, how you’re feeling mentally and physically. Just make a complete concise list of what is happening to you then take it to the Dr Surgety and say you would like a response from the surgery as to how they are going to go about helping you. Your GP today doesn’t seem to have read your notes or been aware of what’s going on., Spell it out to them and perhaps send a copy to the local PCG (if that’s what they’re called now) patient advice people.
I can’t understand why no one is doing more to help. It’s like they are taking each thing as a separate issue and not looking at the overall picture.
Little hug for everyone.

I'm glad he has been signed off because it gives time without too much pressure to have a good think - and ID what's wrong HVDY.

Doodle glad last night was even little bit better. May there be another tonight.

Candy hope you all get a good sleep I expect your grandson is rather excited being at grans. Bests for your son.

Doodle Glad you managed to get back to sleep after the disturbance last night. It must still be tiring and frustrating for you both. Sending you a hug too. Thankyou for your constructive suggestion. I don't like to push myself before other patients and sound as if I'm trying to make myself am exception but I do see the point of sending extra info. I just wish my previous GP hadnt retired. Practically impossible to see same GP now and not allowed to pre-book any appt at all. Practice wont change rules for me. Thought of changing GP Practice for a while.I thought the PCG was the same as the GP practice. Not certain about that but I'll get this scan on Sat over with first. It is a CT with contrast but also required to drink 2pts of water first too. Never done that before for CT, only ultrasound, so not sure why that is. I'm def going to have to keep a diary of various pain ect, but it will be very complicated and not sure if health professionals will give it much time tbh. Thankyou Doodle.

Given how difficult it is to get joined up thinking due to NHS realties Sweetpeasue I think a diary is an excellent idea.

I think I've said before I keep a diary for professionals to read, and it is precisely because busy professionals rarely have time to take in a whole picture quickly. It has been invaluable, although as it is"mental Health" and lead to assessments on treatment/amount of help it would be different to yours. but to be able to offer a 2/4 pages A4 to anyone helping you might help.

The consultant I saw for bowels got a 2 page A4 summary with meds lists, symptoms, previous ops, and a picture. He noted it, and it wasn't sarcastic. The GP had made the briefest of referrals tho had done their job well in tests before..

Wyllow I've never done this before. If I see a consultant in future I'll definitely do this. Thankyou for this advice. Hope you sleep well tonight. Love. X

Candy6 Nice to have your grandson staying the night. Hope he didn't wake up too early

EllieAnne Lots of women have been financially dependent on their husbands. I didn't go back to work under our 2nd son was 15. It doesn't mean you aren't entitled to your share of things now.

Doodle Glad you had a better sleep the other night. I don't know about my DH retiring early (his state pension starts in a year). I'll see what I can find out. Thanks.

I hope all BDers have a decent day today. Back later x

Morning all. Hope you all had a restful night
Doodle thank you for your sympathy regarding my son. Yes, he suffered badly. We all did. It was 15 years of hell which definitely contributed to my poor MH. I had to be there for him and of course I’d do it all again. Things are easier now 🤞 but his condition is still ongoing. I’m glad you got some rest last night. Yes my grandson is a good sleeper thankfully.
Wyllow yes I had a good night thanks and yes, my GS loves to come and stay with us. It may not always be the case of course so I’m relishing it while it lasts. Thank you too for your kind wishes regarding my son. I hope you had a good night too.
Sweetpeasue some good suggestions by Doodle . Just so you know, there is a specialist bowel hospital in London called St Mark’s which you can be referred to. It may be a distance from where you live but may be an option for you. I hope you are pain free today.
HVDY No my GS doesn’t get up too early - well not on a school day anyway! He was born 7 weeks early and so slept virtually all the time until he should have been born. I think he got into the habit so has always been a good sleeper. That’s my theory anyway. I hope you have a good day.

I’m off out for the day/evening with a friend shortly. We love spending time together so looking forward to a nice day. Hope all have a good day and thinking too if all those not mentioned personally above. Take care all xx

Hi all.
Funny old couple of days . DH went to see the consultant yesterday- had a thorough examination and a camera down his throat. All was clear thank goodness - he had been put on the cancer pathway because of his previous thyroid cancer. The GP had been so good and he was seen within 2 weeks. What a relief.
I have felt not so good the AF has been a beast for weeks and I wanted to call in the surgery as I felt rotten. It was closed for training! So we went to A and E and I was pleased with the service. They did ECG etc and the the Doc said he would arrange an Echocardiogram,moniter and actually an appointment with the cardiologist who I have not seen for 5 years. BUT I felt increasingly poorly so this morning I took a Covid test and it’s positive- 😩I just didn’t think about Covid and they took my temperature in hospital and it was normal.
Just resting and hope will get better soon.
Whatever next!
Read all your posts and you all have so much going on. I,m a bit useless at the moment but think about each and everyone of you. With love xxx

Candy6 Your GS must have been tiny when he was born . My sons hardly ever slept, and the eldest one didn't sleep through the night until he went to school. Did you have a nice time with your friend?

ScaredyCat Oh no, you have one thing after another to worry about. I hope you feel better soon.

Wyllow3, SweetpeaSue, Whiff, Doodle, EllieAnne and others - I hope you're all ok today. The GP just rang DH - no news about when he will get an MRI scan and heart ultrasound, but GP wants to see him nest Thursday . I just cooked a lovely dinner - Cheesy-breadcrumbed Basa, with sweet potatoes and some Mediterranean veg for Son2 and me. DH is having a sandwich x

Scaredycat you must have such mixed feelings. - Covid totally not fair, (!) but en explanation of feeling very bad right now. I’m impressed by A and E and glad its going to be followed up with a consultant. Also so glad to read DH is cleared of cancer.

Hope it was a lovely day Candy. Well all those troubled years with your son will have taken it toll.

HVDY Good that DH has a check in next week. The GP can assess symptoms after a “rest” and if necessary rush the MRI scan hopefully. top food chez HVDY!

Been pretty low key day just had to go to the Dentist and got a clear report, pottered a bit, all emotioned out by the week really. Trying to live in present not regret so many can’t do’s. Thankful for what have got, enough of life’s basics!
Given that am single, the one thing I would like is to see family more and be part of their lives.

Scaredycat Such a lot going on for you lately. So sorry youve got covid,crossed fingers that it wont be too bad. What a relief it must have been for your husbands scan to be clear. I'm glad the Dr is looking after you regarding your more troublesome AF. If you know they're being thorough it will reassure you.
Take care of yourself and rest until you feel better.

Icant address you all today, so sorry. Had bad bladder pain in early hrs and was more severe than usual. Lasted till 8-30 when bowels started. They felt connected somehow. After going 3 times in an hr the bladder pain left though both on and off all day. I managed to make some soup and took some along to aunt with some flowers. She just knows I have general 'bowel problems' but she soon forgets things so she's not worried about anything thank goodness. Love to all and hooe you all have peaceful nights. X

Hello all. Had a lovely afternoon with DS1 who came for lunch. Nice to have a good catch up.
Sweetpeasue I have phoned our Gp surgery every Monday for a few weeks now for a telephone or F2F with GP for DH. I will be doing so again this coming Monday for his severe fluid retention which has come about through increasing his RLS meds.
I make no apologies for it and neither should you. Ignoring a medical problem isn’t going to get it cured. Just because Gp surgeries work in a ridiculous way now doesn’t mean we should feel we are causing a fuss by contacting them .
PCG used to be the governing body for the GPS. They might have a different name now.
Painful start of the day for you. Hope it’s eased off now. Your Aunt must love your visits. You’re really kind to her.
HVDY it might be worth taking some advice about early retirement for you DH. He wouldn’t have been signed off for 2 months if he didn’t have a health problem so worth checking if there is any Hope of early retirement from his employer or on grounds of ill health. Anything is worth a try.
Hope you have a good weekend. Any of the family coming round?
Hope there isn’t a problem with your DHs GP visit. I’m sure if there was anything concerning the Gp he’d be chasing the MRI.
Dinner sounds delicious.
Candy I’m sorry your son has had such a hard time and you as well. Are things better for him now? I do hope so.
Your DGS sounds like the perfect house guest 🤣 bet you had a nice time together.
Have a lovely time with your friend.
Scaredycat that’s good news about your DH. Must have been a relief. Not surprised your AF playing up with all you have had going on. Oh no. Just read you’ve got Covid. Glad you went to A&E and got checked though. Hope you are not too poorly with the Covid and it passes quickly.
You’re not useless, you’re our pal 😊
Wyllow a trip to the dentist with a clear report is good news for both your teeth and your pocket.
Hope you have a peaceful weekend and relax a bit. Quakers on Sunday?

Doodle I think I'm more afraid than I was about any possibility ofcausing any problems, after what happened with my official complaints. I'm sure the receptionists must think I'm some sort of hypochondriac when I give my name to them. But of course you're right. Pain came back and more visits to loo but settled again. Ive started to write down description of pain throughout today.You might remember around 6 weeks ago a GP referred me for CT scan on bladder. Watched the post regularly for appt. Was told a few weeks ago, when I saw my GP that the CT had been over-ruled because ' that GP hadnt realised aboot my pain history or something. Wish Id taken that up now as I hadnt been told this had happened and it doesn't seem right. Glad you had nice visit from your son this morning.Do hope you and husband dont have too bad a night.
Love to all.

ScaredyCat I'm glad you're going to have those checks re your AF. It needs sorting out. I hope you won't have to wait long. Good news about your husband. That must be a relief. Hope you feel much better soon.

Wyllow All-clear from the dentist is good news. Have you got your Quakers meeting tomorrow?

Doodle It's not right that we (as patients) should have to keep trying to get medical issues sorted out ourselves, but it does seem to be the way nowadays. DH's recent GP is very thorough, but she probably won't be around for long. It's a teaching practice, so we good very good GPs for a few months and then they go somewhere else. I'll certainly look into his retiring early, although his workplace isn't good - it's a small factory and people start and leave all the time. I hope your poor husband gets some help soon. Glad you had a nice time with your son.

SweetpeaSue Never mind what the receptionists think. They aren't medically trained anyway. That's very poor about the GP not arranging the bladder CT. You ought to complain to the Practice Manager. I hope your pain has lessened.

Not yet sure what the weekend will bring. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Glad to hear of nice time Doodle. and you are getting good at being forthright with GP's, well done you.

Is all a lot of manage Sweetpeasue because its so complex. glad you are writing stuff done.

Word to the wise - when you write a document for a consultant, dont mention complaint:

instead in the documentation just raise a ?? as to X procedure "not sure went so well" or something similar. Separate off complaints procedures from medical descriptions, try and win them over not wary. Not to say no complaining, just keep it separate.
Remember the awful ness in 2017 caused by my discharge? I know, the psychologist knows, it should never have happened, and the consequences, but when talking now I allude to it tangentially. Head on criticism of the service...cunning needed.

Yesterday evening was beset by appalling loneliness and loss. Recent abusive attacks and having to fess up at the gym and indeed the whole way Ex treats the past, its as if happy times never happened. Another way of attacking, really, rubbishing the past 11 years. My hopes of some "retrieval" contact have now gone.

Went to the gym with much nervousness well more than usual I'm going got have to go there a lot to feel really at ease again. Ex's threats have a long reach.

Wyllow Don't let your ex and his threats put you off going to your gym. you're an established member, and the staff there know you and now know about him. His idea of going there is just to intimidate you. Don't give him that power.

How's everyone doing today? Son1 came round with the girls - he used our vacuum and extension cable to clean his car (I did mine the other day at Sainsbury's). The GDs have got to move house (again) this month - the landlord is selling the house. They'll be going from a detached house in a beautiful village to a semi on a large estate, but will be near to their schools. Son2 is busy setting some seeds to grow some vegetables. (currently taking up 3 of the windowsills in my house ). Hope everyone's ok x

Candy Thankyou for the info about the London hospital. I'm afraid it's a long way from myself in North-East but I'm hoping things can sorted here. I'm sorry that your son had such a long period of illness. I realise now how much that must have affected you and I hope he's doing well now.
HVDY I've been much better than I was this morning thankyou. You must worry about your DGDs changing circumstances, we just want them to have stability and be safe and happy. Good thing is they can keep their friends if staying at same school. I hope the bullying issues have been sorted now. I have potatoes chitting on windowsill in spare boxroom. (grow them in buckets) I know it looks a bit messy though. Hope your son has luck with his seedlings and you benefit from some produce!
Wyllow3 You are going through such sad times. I dont know how you can hang on to the happy times with ex and not feel the sense of loss of those even more. It would be easier if ex could let go without the bitterness and this stalking. I think you're right and it will get easier the more you go to gym and become more confident about that. It's good you went this morning. I hope you manage a good afternoon and perhaps Quaker meeting tomorrow.

Afternoon all.
HVDY- glad your GP will be seeing your DH next week just hope she sticks around for a while she sounds very good.
Lovely meal yesterday but obviously a bit too healthy for your DH!!
Sorry the little girls have to move again but being near to their schools will recompense a bit. Children are so resilient they adjust very quickly . Love the thought of Son 2 growing veggies - hope DH doesn’t sabotage them!!
Wyllow- what a great feeling it is when you get a clean bill of health at the dentist!. Yes it would be lovely for you to see your family more often but you must feel strong enough to make some plans.
I feel so sad for you that your ex has done his best to spoil your safe place. Sad too that you feel such loss for the past times. You know that you had good times together so remember them and don’t let him spoil your present. I agree with HVDY.
SweetPeaSue- thank you for kind words. Resting is just about all I can do right now!!
Please don’t worry about what the receptionists think - I actually think they don’t think as we do!! Lot of thinks there!!
You are so kind to make the soup and visit your Auntie with flowers - she must love seeing you so much.
I hope your pain is lessened today- good idea to keep a. Symptom journal . Take carex
Doodle- glad you enjoyed your time with your son.
You are so right about being non apologetic for phone calls to surgery - they must realise that most people would rather be doing anything else than sitting in those dreadful queues.
Yes it was a relief for my DH to be ok - just wondering if he will get Covid too. It’s not nice is it😩
Hope your DH can get help with his fluid retention - that is a problem for my sister too.

Candy ,EllieAnne,Nadateturbe,Whiff and all those not mentioned hope you all have a peaceful night. Xxx

Oh Scaredycat just lost my message grrr.
I hope you're not feeling too bad and you will feel better soon. Horrible you catching this on top of everything else. My sister's DH got covid last year and it seemed amazing that she didnt get it from him so let's hope your DH escapes too. I hadnt seen aunt for couple of weeks so didnt want her to think anything wrong but she's really ok.
Well, off now for scan and to drink a litre of water. Uugh! 🤢. Hope you feel better soon.