Black Dogs 28

Scardycat You do so well to help looking after your friend -- I can't imagine being in that situation where you are ill yourself but your DH is seriously ill too - it must be so difficult to carry on just living.
I like my little DGS in his glasses too- he looks very cute and studious.
Oh yes , my DH is like your own - always thinking that something could be needed.
Wyllow I was so pleased to see you in. I can imagine you will be finding it a bit lonely in your side room away from others , theres pluses and minuses .
Hope the food is OK too - it can vary so much in hospitals. Sorry about your MH meds problem- I can see that would make you feel very anxious indeed and you feel so helpless when someone else is in charge of those things you need and rely on. Hope that Dr has helped the situation. Do hope the wheezing and breathing isnt as bad. Just rest and get well - youll be wanting to get home as soon as you can. Sending a nice warm hug. Xx

EllieAnne Good you got that inbox sorted Hope youve been OK today.

We've had Fluffball today. Son 1 is away at work and DIL is looking after her poorly mum quite a bit now.
Rained here most of time but managed to take FB for a tiny walk and played with her a lot indoors.
Hoping everyone has had a reasonable day.

Wyllow3 I'm glad some of the nurses are talkative. I was inisolation for 4 weeks in hospital, and know how lonely/boring it can be. I used to listen to my YouTube lists on my mobile. Regarding the medication, they have to dispense the meds to patients at the same time each day. However, I hope the doctor was understanding and was able to provide you with the necessary ones in the morning when needed. Any idea how long you'll be in?

ScaredyCat LG has still got a chubby face, still babyish, which is lovely. When I had an ECG done before Xmas, at the TIA clinic, it showed ectopic beats. I realised I'd been feeling that for quite a few years. AF is altogether different, though, I realise that. Do you take medication for it?

SweetpeaSue Fluffball is a delight, isn't she? Cuddles and playing with furry friends are always good.

2 1/2 stone off now (since mid-Oct), so DH suggested we have an Indian takeaway, with pakoras and a lager. Could only eat half. I reckon another 2 stone off by our holiday (May) would be reasonable.

Evening all. Been out for lunch with friend today. Bit milder than it has been.
HVDY your diet is going really well. I admire you for sticking to it. I think over time your body gets used to less food. Don’t waste away completely.
Sweetpeasue your DIl must be so grateful for your help with Fluffball and all while her mother is so ill. Good you can support her.
Scaredycat my GP thinks my hip is fine and the pain is from my knee. I have always had trouble with my knees for years. I can remember asking doctors for knee X-rays about 20 years or more ago. They have always creaked and groaned. I think when I stopped doing stairs I didn’t realise the effect it would have, now I can’t walk up a flight of stairs without pulling myself up by the handrail. Hope the physio can help me out,
I realise AF is difficult to live with but you seem to be coping better these days or is it you just don’t mention it?
Oh Wyllow your complaint about meds brought back so much to me. I know exactly what you mean.
DH meds were very complex and he managed them perfectly himself with use of a spreadsheet 30 plus a day. Once in hospital all control taken from him and he could only have his meds at set times when it suited the nurses. The anger and frustration of watching him in pain because the nurse had gone off with the drugs keys, gone for lunch, couldn’t find anyone to countersign. Etc etc the list went on. My DH was the bravest man I have known and what he suffered he shouldn’t have had to go through but he did without complaining which is what made it all so bad. I have sympathy for you in your quiet world. Glad the nurses talk to you. Are you feeling any better at all.?
EllieAnne glad you’ve got your inbox sorted. Hope your weekend is not too bad.
Allsorts sorry you’re having such a tough time with neighbours. Can your son help with moving. These dark days don’t help anyone

Doodle that was cruel for DH and so badly handled, Grrr on the memory, I have a very vague memory of it I think ....all that work rubbished.

. I have negotiated a night time arrangement via a cunning young doctor who made an entry to beat the system. No HVDY these days they don't all have to be the same time but of course all the regular ones do or it would be chaos.

4 weeks was a long time, could you have visitors?

Those soft ply areas are actually great exercise especially the courses, where there is a trail up and around several levels, scramble, over, under, up slippery soft steps, through holes, down slides - its what DS takes DGD to every week and follows her in and she does it as physio bit it might be a bit big for LG just yet.

AF must have been totally, utterly, scary at first, Scaredycat, till you got a routine and meds.

I'm glad you've been Fluffballed, Sweetpeasue.

Maybe two more days on the ward then instructions and chest physio (yes really) and meds stuff for home. Doc sis happens to be coming up to see her grandchild here just up the road on Thursday* so will see little and often bits before she goes home, shouldn't be infectious by then.
Actually see doc sis!

Doodle
I'm sorry about your memories of your dear husband in hospital wanting his pills. It must make you sad when you think about it. It wasn't right.
Sweetpeasue is right. You have been an inspiration since you lost your DH. You’ve made such an effort to get out and do things. . And you are such a helpful friend. I hope your back has eased from Tuesday. You probably overdid it a bit at sitfit.
It's ridiculous being offered telephone physio. Your hip does sound like referred pain, so hopefully physio will help. I get a bit angry about telephone appointments. Just not good enough.
I agree about climbing stairs. It's one of the things that puts me off moving to a bungalow.
What were you doing with charcoal? I've used charcoal pencils for portraits, they're very good for shading. Have you still got your Beatles album? Which one was it? I remember having a radiogram in the seventies, and the excitement of buying a new LP and hurrying home to play it.

Hello Sweetpeasue. Your GP appointment went well, and I'm glad it was F2F. . It makes a difference to feel heard. No wonder your DH broke down. I hope the steroid helps, I've heard they are painful to have, but work well. He has so much to cope with, and does it so admirably. It must be very scary to have an angina attack.
Did you manage to get a birthday present for GD?
Wasn't it good that your GSs teacher picked up on his eyesight problem. I wonder how long he has needed glasses.
You're doing well with the clear out. It feels good when you get rid of stuff, clears your mind.
I keep telling my husband to do this. He's such a hoarder. But it's difficult to part with things, isn't it?
I love listening to older music now, so relaxing. People like Nat King Cole. Although still love 60s. I can visualise you running to meet daddy. 😊
I was very impressed with your learning to play the piano. Beats my tin whistle! I am in awe of people who can play with two hands at the same time! I tried piano lessons but I could not manage, gave up after about four lessons. I have a keyboard which I fiddle with.
Glad you have fluffball for company today. And I'm sure your DiL appreciates it.

Doodle I won't waste away . I hope the physio exercises you get will help.

Wyllow3 I spent 2 weeks in an induced coma then a week on a Covid ward and a further 3 weeks alone in a room, as I kept testing positive for Covid. No visitors at all because of the restrictions. Son2 and DH used to travel a 110 mile trip to drop things off at the hospital (I was at Coventry) but I didn't even see them to wave to. I didn't see my husband until the day before I went home. LG manages to scramble about in those soft play places. I remember Son1 doing all that when his girls were little...a broad 6ft 2 man, crawling and climbing in there . Glad you'll be going home in a few days, and it'll be good for you to see your sister. Keep your strength up.

Wyllow3 great to hear from you. What a todo with your meds. Glad you got it sorted a little bit. And great you're seeing docsis!xx

Got a message from dd tonight. She’s at hospital with an infected cat bite and will probably need surgery.

Hi nadateturbe.

My goodness, Ellie Anne that must have been a nasty attack! They'll want to clean well and some deep tissues damaged.

Goodness me HVDY what a really awful time you had! I think I'd be still recovering from all that.
I'm sure it felt strange returning home.
Well done on your weight loss. Your body gets used to less food I think.

I’m going down in the morning to see to the cats. I should have asleep but too stressed

EllieAnne That must have been a nasty bite. Do let us know how she gets on.

nadateturbe It took me a long time to come to terms with it all (I had the stroke whilst in the coma). Glad to be ok, though. How are you?

Doodle I can well imagine the anger and frustration of being helpless like that and all control taken away from you so that you were unable to help DH in the way you were used to. I really wish medical staff and Drs would listen more to patient's 'other halves'. After all they've been eith them 24/7 and know whats going on.
Oh I do feel for you with those bad knees , it sounds like they have got worse from the days we used to 'pedal together '. Hope youve had a nice day with church friends today.
Wyllow Glad you have that Dr on your case about the nighttime meds. You must have felt panicky about not being able to sleep without them. Oh , so pleased you're going to actually see Doc sis again. You will be looking forward to talking to her and sharing things. Wattsapps are wonderful but nothing like a proper hug from a loved one- you so need that.

Back later.

Nadateturbe I remember buying a record-player ( think it was a Dansette) from a second - hand shop , when I first started work. You could get the latest hits from Woolworths- the little 45s. My sister used to work on the Pick n mix sweet counter- she loved it 😊.
DH has to use the spray every day now for chest tightness - he says it feels like a huge weight and squeezing on chest but hes had a few worse ones where the pain goes through to his back and that's what is concerning. The medication hes on hasn't made slightest difference though the spray opens the arteries and is good.
I always wanted to play the piano but .y parents couldn't really afford it at the time, until we got given an old piano that was put in a cold ,cobwebby garage ( garage wasnt used as parents never had a car) . I had a few lessons as a child but didnt take it up properly till my sons were at school. I wonder if you took up piano as a child you found it hard - might be different now as adult but I know your ME affects your energy mentally aswell as physically. If your keyboard records a simple tune you could maybe pick out the main tune in Nadateturbe then play the second tune that comes in the background over the recoded bit- if that makes sense. Hope youve been OK today.
HVDY I hadn't realised the hospital you were in was at Coventry- that must have made it so hard for your family. I know from my own experience ( and Im sure it wasnt as bad as yours) that you never get over it and even to recall those times are difficult. You mightnt be thinking about it at all then something suddenly remind you. I remember seein a post from you on BD a while after it and as .y hospital experience was in the Covid time I felt such a connection with you. I just can't imagine all you suffered mentally and physically. ❤️
Oh those soft play areas , Ive been with my DGS when he was younger and they were like Gym sessions- Ive never ached so much afterwards!
Im in awe over your weight loss , I feel terrible about my weight yet do t seem to get into 'thezone' where I can reduce eating. Even thought of Mounjaro though that horrifies my DH.
EllieAnne It must have been a shock finding out your DD was in hospital. Hope you eventually managed to get some sleep- its such a long journey for you. Hope your DDs wound is sorted properly.

Scaredycat Hope youve been OK today. It must still be unnerving to get the AF frequently and you never make a thing of it but it must get you down. Hope your day has been OK. Its done nothing but rain here all day and yesterday.

Such bad dreams last night but I think its just all the illness - it seems to be everywhere lately. Sis' MIL very ill and DSs MIL too. Need to distract myself I think, and Im starting to get a bit weary of craft work ( plain knitting!) .
DH dyed my roots again today and I know it made his hand worse. I feel bad about it but it wS his suggestion. My hair is so thin now and completely white. Keep telling myself it shouldn't matter- but it still does.
DHs steroid injection tomorrow afternoon. Really hope it helps.

Take care everyone and live to all , including those who just read.

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- you are right my friend is finding just living so terribly hard.
It’s such a lovely help for you to have Fluffball. Both for your DiL but also you can enjoy her furry company. Does she have a little coat to go out in the rain?
Very hard for your DiL to see her Mum so poorly.
Hope your DH is having a decent day today.
HVDY- Oh my what a terrible time you went through in Hospital. You came through that awful ordeal with great bravery.
That’s a great weight loss- the regime you are following has been a great success. Good to have the odd treat out though. Where are you going on holiday?
I take blood thinners and beta blockers. Once it became permanent and persistent I stopped the rythym control meds as they had stopped working.
Doodle- You,re right about the single floor living affecting your legs. I think they call it “bungalow legs”. Really hope the physio can help.
AF does affect my daily life but I try not to go on about it too much. The tiredness is the worst symptom as my heart is not pumping efficiently all the time. I feel scared sometimes of the heart failure that could happen one day.
Wyllow- well done getting the meds situation sorted. The young Doctor was using his common sense and listening to you.
Yes I was very scared at first when I never knew when the AF would hit. So bizarrely it’s sort of easier having it all the time.
Bet you can’t wait to see your Sis - she will have lots of good advice for you I,m sure. Not only that but lovely for you to be together for real.
Hope you have a better night tonight.
Nadateturbe- Charcoal can be fun to use as it’s so forgiving but I used to get so messy!!
I envy anyone who can play an instrument- even a penny whistle!! My Mum could play piano by ear using both hands- no training she could just do it! A keyboard sounds like fun.
Our GGD plays the violin and her brother the guitar.
Lovely to see you posting.
Allsorts- hope you are feeling brighter today.

Love to all- mentioned and old friends

SweetpeaSue My brother (79) had a Dansette record player when he was young. Coventry hospital was awful - the "care" was lacking/negligent. There are strict rules on Mounjaro on the NHS, which is why so many people (mainly celebrities) buy it. I know someone who is on it for his (uncontrolled) Diabetes - he's lost a stone but feels bloated and sick all the time. I don't regret stopping dyeing my hair - it was such a faff to keep doing it every few weeks. How about having highlights?

ScaredyCat We're going to Zante, one of the Greek islands. I'm on "blood thinners" (they don't, of course, thin the blood at all), Clopidogrel, and Bisoprolol to slow my heart rate. I suppose most people start taking tablets after a certain age. You're right about bungalow legs. Your GGC sound very talented. It's nice when children have got an interest.

Went with brother to see his wife. She was quite hostile and confused to begin with - accusing him of cheating, with me! I got talking to her about when we all worked at the same care company for a few years, and then she was fine.

Scaredycat Its awful to live with fear of the worst and I must say you tackle the AF condition very bravely. It must have been a very up and down experience when the AF was unpredictable.
How amazing that your mum could play by ear like that - something Ive never been able to do. It must have been a sort of innate gift - you must have been so proud of her.
HVDY I think that's what puts me off Mounjaro ( apart from the exorbitant price which I couldn't afford for long). Once one has the jab ,if there was nasty side effects, you'd just have to put up with it until it wore off.
Oh what a troubling visit to your SIL. Just aswell you understood how to deal with it and distract her back into the past which you shared with her. Such a very sad illness- I hope one day they can find some answers to cure or prevent it.

Wyllow. How are you getting on? Is the meds situation ok? I do hope you get to see your sister soon.
Nadateturbe I was drawing a miners lamp. I’m not good at drawing anyway and trying to do it with a charcoal stick that kept breaking wasn’t the best way to tackle it. The Beatles album was their first one Please Please me I think it was called. My cousin who was a few years older than me bought it for me.
Yes it makes me very sad to think of all the unnecessary pain Dh went through because of his treatment in hospital. Don’t get me wrong I think thr nurses are amazing with what they cope with but there aren’t enough of them and there are too many unqualified staff on wards. HCAs are used too much to deal with patients who need better qualified care. When Dh eventually arrived at the hospice they nurses and staff there were horrified at the condition he was in and the pain he. Was suffering.
HVDY I remember you joining this group after your spell in hospital, it must have been so traumatic for you. Being isolated and unable to be with family.
So pleased you were able to calm your SIl down. Must have been upsetting for you both.
Oh dear Ellie Anne that sounds nasty. I assume it’s one of her cats. Does that mean another long journey for you? I know you don’t like driving there. Will you be staying for a few days?
Do hope she gets better soon. See mums are needed.

Sweetpeasue yes a good day at church thanks. Then I popped into the hospice for half an hour quiet time by the lake. So peaceful. Certainly couldn’t cycle now. Sorry your Dh is still suffering that chest tightness. When is he die to be seen next. Is the vascular chap in February sometime soon?
Scaredycat no musical talent here. How lovely your grandchildren play i envy them. My grandmother played piano and tried to teach me but apart from chop sticks I don’t think we got anywhere.

SweetpeaSue Mounjaro and Oxempic both carry a lot of side effects, and apparently, any weight loss is temporary (it goes back on when the drug is stopped. My BMI puts me in the "obese" class, but I haven't got enough of the other criteria to be able to get it on the NHS. I wouldn't want it, anyway - it's too risky. I'm going to carry on with this diet until I feel comfortable with myself (I'll never be slim and that's ok with me)
Doodle I had a lot of work experience with different types of dementia (Alzheimer's being the most common one), so I understand it. My brother gets upset. SIL's 1st husband used to cheat on her. The 2nd one knocked her about a lot. My brother is husband 3. Glad you had a nice time at church and the hospice. It's been foggy and damp here all day.

Doodle Im so sorry for all that your DH suffered in hospital. It reminds me of my FIL( not nice story) yet of course you are right about understaffed nurses , they do try. So good he went to the hospice and uou can go there now and think of the peace you both had there.
My DH has appt at the Rapid Access Chest Clinic on Wednesday. I just hope he doesnt see the same heart nurse, who last time he went said to throw his spray away as he didnt have angina.
The Vascular appt was moved back to April Im afraid.
HVDY I see now where the confusion stemmed from for your SIL.
Im sure you're quite right about the weight loss drugs and sensible. I was surprised one of my sons and his wife took it for a short while ( they were only a couple of stone overweight). I need to get some will-power , I guess Im feeling depressed about DH and just comfort eat. You have done amazing - you deserve to lose it when youve put so much work in and denied yourself.

I'm at home becuase they decided I was OK by early afternoon to self treat at home, Oxygen levels had stabilised.

Yes Doodle the docs nights med plan had worked and I slept a full night . It took hours to wait for just 3 anti biotics to take at home to complete the course of 5 but then they arranged an ambulance which was nice. This doc (*a young female doc understood far more than the male docs*) as the same one who had tackled the meds and agreed patients should be listened to
but my did I kick up a fuss, it was out of desperation but thought of those who wouldnt try. I got a bit of a rep by the time I went because I'd "fought" and not a bad one either so they might have seen stuff on the wards like you had with your DH Doodle. Just sad he hadn't longer at the hospice, but I know you must feel that keenly.

I think I understand why its easier "all the time" - not sort of lurking there to jump out if you do too much x or Y - you'd never know what to do or not do?

AF deprives you of oxygen which we need in our blood for energy,

I only really found that out today when I found one of the reasons I was admitted was my oxygen levels had shot down. But I can try and act on that information. sis has given me a measuring gadget and showing me how to use it when she comes.

I've kept my air its ash blonde tho its thin, for me it would look worse colouring it, but glad that DH lovingly insisted Sweetpeasue.
My problem isnt weight its bloating and more, I dont comfort eat in fact eat less if distressed,

but I do know that the older we are the harder weight is to get off - so tough. Hoping the clinic goes OK next week, you'll know to contradict any silliness there on the sprays.

HVDY that was a bit of a shock her thinking you were having an affair with your brother.....if he would only go alone.