Divorce, having to move & angry children!ivorce, having to move & angry children!

Hi Readwarbler

It sounds to me that you are closer to your daughter than you are your sons, emotionally not geographically.

I must say your sons sound just a little bit selfish if they are Demanding you do what is better for them! and they do not even manage to find the time to visit you, as you are saying..

I do not understand as well the anger coming from your sons.

Personally I would have a good chat with both of your sons just to see what exactly is going on.

The problem is, if you do as your sons want, it will make you unhappy, and when you sit alone in your new house in sussex where your sons wish you to be, they will not have the time to come and comfort you, or spend some time with you so that you are not lonely or un happy...

And so you do need to take care of yourself if you want any energy to be able to be of some use to your family..

My family lives in Sussex. My daughter moved back near to where I grew up, from Gloucestershire where she was born and I lived for 30 years. When I retired, I moved to Somerset, mostly because the house prices are reasonable here. I got a biggish house so the grandchildren could come and visit. They came once. They are too busy with their own lives, and that isn't going to lessen as they get older. I have now got a lovely manageable bungalow, with a spare room for friends if I need it. And a lot of friends and things to keep me occupied. Look after yourself, let them look after themselves

I think your daughters-in-law maybe thinking of free childcare?
As your daughter is happy for you to move where you want to be I would listen to her.
Just a thought from a resident of Devon, perhaps you might consider a rental period in the South West? When I moved here some 50 years ago my work colleagues were so envious. This from the perspective of a few sunny weeks holiday. The reality is rather different, long periods of grey skies, wind and rain. I see that cavity wall insulation is not recommended for the South West due to heavy wind and rain. I suggest a "try before you buy" approach.
Good luck with your move.

How well do you know the South West? Moving is more than just a property, it is friends, etc. Have you thought as to how you will be in, say ten years, time? Will you still be able to drive long distances? And manage a house? . Children will then be of an age when they are unlikely to want to give up part of their school holidays to be with you. Perhaps you would be better staying closer to where you know people and think of what would be best for YOU to live in 52 weeks a year. A Bungalow or a flat. Even if you are now storing things for your daughter, she may want them nearer to herself in London and perhaps could use a storage unit, where things would easily accessible.
As has been said, holiday times, roads to the South West are dreadful, with journeys increasing by many hours.
So much better if you can within some sort of easy-to-reach place for your sons and g.children as well as your daughter. You are not there to provide B&B, so think about your own day-to-day living needs first.

I lived in Cornwall for 25 years and if circumstances allowed I would be back there like a shot. Have a drive round in your campervan and see what you think. I gather that even travelling abroad from there is easier now with the improvements they've made to Newquay airport.

I would move to wherever you want to move- I know several people who have moved near to children and then find the children are too busy to see much of them.
I have looked through twice and can't see that you were saying Cornwall. Dorset and Somerset are much easier to reach.

Reedwarbler, you are still young and fit enough to use a campervan. Why not think ahead to when you might like to have a relative to respond to a care link pendant? It's probable that you and your sons don;t want to hobnob with each other. They do sound concerned about the practicality of having their ageing mum within a reasonable distance for emergency help. You may need also to live close to a food shop, a chemist, a post office, library, vet, and so on.
I lived on the Sussex/Hants border decades ago and liked it well enough.
Me, I'd choose a small town as rural areas can be bad for public transport and services, unless you are quite rich.

Reedwarbler I am very interested in your post as have been looking to move, probably South West, for the last 3 years. I have been held up by difficulties selling my house but now have a buyer.
In the time I have had to explore and think I've become more uncertain of what I want. As said in the thread above its wet and warm in the South West whereas where I am in SE we do get snow, from time to time, which I love. Also, I am in a similar position to you, age and family wise and need to move somewhere cheaper but lots of SW is expensive and the right kind of property limited. I have also considered Norfolk/Suffolk but an not convinced.
I am thinking of renting - love the Campervan idea but have 2 cats to consider so don't think its an option.
Perhaps we could share some ideas - I have done a bit of research, using airbnb, to try to inform my hunt but its hard doing something like this on your own.

Think about East London. Good as a base for your daughter and a good investment. Then zoom around the country in your campervan.

I blindly moved to Cornwall when I returned from living abroad. Houses are relatively cheap providing you do your homework and the scenery is glorious You can fly from Newquay to Gatwick for on average £35 in under an hour. Travel around In your camper. Even take a six month rental to make sure. Have fun looking.