Feeling trapped in my home

Could you plant some fast growing shrubs to give you a little privacy? Or erect a higher fence of some sort?

It’s is very upsetting when our own safe havens are invaded ,I thinking fencing may be the answer , good luck

You definitely need to review the fencing between you both to give you privacy in the garden. I feel for you, it would be such a shame to have to move from the home you love. I think also you just have to adjust your routine to vacuum in the afternoon or early evening. I know you shouldn’t have to but just for the sake of peace? x

Yes, possibly reversing a few things for a while might be helpful, e.g. go in the garden whilst she is still in bed (don't mow the grass then, though)! Then do your vacuuming whilst she's standing on her doorstep. The other suggestions of fencing and shrubbery are a good idea, too. Also, try to ignore her and this "relation", don't give eye contact or anything. Just go about your business - don't let them take over your life. Keep records of absolutely anything that is unsettling as a backup should you seek advice from the council, police, etc.

Please be careful if you go down the fencing route check with your HT that you are allowed to do this without their permission.
I would try and change my hoovering time even though it would annoy me to do so .
If you do have any anti-social problems with your neighbours keep a record that you can pass to your HT if you need to in the future.

Is it feasible that you could move? Its absolutely horrible to have neighbours that put you on edge, so it may be worth considering.

Fencing, hedging and a diary to record events, is the way to go, if you can.
I wouldn’t alter my times of doing things, it isn’t your problem if she is on nights.
Is there a neighbour on the other side of her? If so have a chat with them and see how they cope with her night work/days at home.

Thanks for your suggestions. There is a shed and a garage dividing our backs, which are quite small we are a terrace. We also have a shared entry, although it is over my house. The front is the problem as it is a normal hedge. She and her dog hear when I open my back door.

I am thinking of moving and have made enquiries re a couple of retirement bungalows. It is all the hassle. The Housing Trust did come out when she had a party in October but when I refused to sign a "Good Neighbour Agreement. The HT walked away. I am an owner occupier. They seem to be only concerned re their tenants. Most of houses are owned here only a very few still HT occupied and unfortunately the one next door to me.

She is in her 50's has a well paid job and a very expensive car. The houses aren't expensive around her NWest don't know how she got on the list.

I recall your other posts, it’s such a shame you are still feeling so uncomfortable in your own home. If you haven’t done so perhaps it’s worth a chat with the CAB in case there are options with the HT. The Good Neighbour Agreement seemed and still seems inappropriate as you are an owner occupier. In any case it’s always good to feel someone is on your side. If you would like to live in a retirement property then why not carry on with your research, if you’d rather stay in your current home then it is definitely worth seeking advice. The only thing I would say is be careful if you are seriously considering selling as questions are asked about any neighbour disputes. I hope it works out for you and you can feel more relaxed soon.

The car will have been bought under one of those leasing agreements. Cheap to finance, but has a kick in the teeth at the end of the lease. According to the pundits this system could trigger the next domestic financial scandal.

DH is an owner occupier on an estate of mainly ex-council houses and in the last year or two, her estate has sprouted all kinds of new expensive up-market cars and large 4X4s. Even saw a Porsche there on our last visit.

I can remember your earlier posts about her but sadly not the full content. Other than a story about a moving plant pot unless I have stories mixed up , sorry if that's the case.
After reading this post I am not seeing what she's done wrong other than have a barking dog and standing at her door smoking and a "guest" who Hoover's when she's gone to work in the evening.
Have I missed a post or two with more explanation as surely no-one can expect a HT or similar to move someone on for those things no matter how uncomfortable you say you feel living with them at your side.

I would also echo what Cornergran advised re neighbor disputes, if you are considering selling your property.

You are now legally obliged to state any past or present ongoing disputes with your neighbors.

Good luck

Like Nanabilly I m not too sure what’s wrong if you know she sleeps till midday I wouldn’t do noisy chores like hoovering etc till after you know she’s up Do your garden stuff in the morning while she’s in bed I totally understand it s not what you want or expect but what actually is anti social about her behaviour ? She smokes on the doorstep but that’s not too terrible, her dog and your dog bark at each other, normal I guess if they are close to each other
Does it matter who s living with her or why or if she’s got a big car
You say you feel like a prisoner but why ? can’t you go out and about away from the house ?
Unless you live in a detached house with a big garden all round you have to learn the give and take of living with neighbours close to you
Maybe make a friend of her, not a close friend but an acquaintance to nod or have a few words with better than being in fear of enemies

For those of you who don't know the history. I had to call the police in the early hours of the morning in October, because of party noise till 2.30 am. This was because I asked them to "keep the noise down please" Family members threatened me banging on my door for confrontation. The plant was thrown into the street after that.

I do not look at her she is not a pleasant person, I did not want to be friends with her but, as usual, with neighbours was happy to pass the time of day but she obviously wasn't.

I have always got on with my neighbours, I am retired so should be enjoying my home and garden, the neighbour on the other side is at work all day so there is only myself at home during the day time.

I did think the car was rented.

I have my name down on a waiting list for a purchase property for over 55's.

Re telling about neighbour problems when the police came and I said I could have a problem selling they told me not to mention it!! My cousin had a problem and moved did not reveal it to the purchaser. They may well get on with a new owner. Although, as I live in a 3 bed property she could have noisy children around especially at holiday time. So there may be some Karma.

If you cannot change the fence but can afford some large shrubs, I suggest a Photinia Red Robin - it is fast growing - a foot a year, and you can buy them as large as 3-5 foot although shorter ones are cheaper. No need to do all the length, just place them where they will give you privacy from her back door. I have one in a large tub which adds to the height and gave me instant 6’ of coverage ( and a hernia potting it up! ) just by my back door between me and my neighbour.

I expect you4 new neighbour had to give up her house to a family. She may be lonely not knowing anyone, and being on night shift makes it harder to join things and make friends. It sounds like you may never be good friends with her but could you be friendly acquaintances? - especially with both having a dog. If you meet her on a walk perhaps your dogs will get to know each other and stop barking.

I hope it all works out for you.

I can echo the benefits of Red Robin. It can be shaped easily too. It may make your house more saleable when an over 55's property does come up if there's a screen between you. Most people value a bit of privacy. The comments about not making a big deal of things but working round her are right I think as you don't want to have anything to put in the Disagreements With Neighbours box on the solicitors form when you do sell!

Move.

Definitely move!

We had a neighbour that spent at least 4 hours a day in his garden shouting and swearing into his cell phone.

...so we saved up and had a lovely conservatory built.

He's now moved to Cadiz and the council bought his house for four mentally disabled teens and their full-time carers.

...they are lovely neighbours.

The police are wrong! You are bound to declare any disputes on the SPIF form. If you do not declare the purchasers can sue under the Misinterpretation Act 1967.
There will be records from the Police and HT to prove your dispute.
Out of interest why did you refuse to sign a good neighbour agreement?

Sympathise with your plight Marieeliz but can't help feeling that a move is pretty radical and dramatic if, in your heart, you really don't want to. Sayings like 'the devil you know' and 'out of the frying pan' keep coming into my head. I think you should have a serious go with the shrubbery and other practical suggestions here before anything else. Helps me to be very grateful for the lesser neighbour problems I have. Thank you.

I just think life’s to short to make enemies It seems you got off to the wrong start over the party whilst I would complain if it was a regular happening I would accept a one off and sooner keep a civil relationship with neighbours it has to be give and take sometimes whilst a noisy party into the early hours is difficult to accept I would have given her the benefit of the doubt and waited to see if it happened again Sounds like you annoyed them and maybe with drink flowing the plant pot was thrown A shame as that seems to have been the start of a sour relationship
Good luck in your move if you do go as that does seem the only way forward now

Awful, inconsiderate neighbours can ruin your life (particularly when you’re retired and spend much more time at home). It happened to us, and we moved. Sadly, we inherited another set, but they were universally disliked and THEY moved. All of this in rural settings - so with lots of space between homes- but still the ill-feeling is miserable. Definitely move if possible, but check out where you plan to move to as thoroughly as possible. Good luck!

I agree with Bluebell. My father often had to work nights and had a lot of trouble sleeping. It is not the same as sleeping at night and it is not really asking much for noisy tasks to be avoided if possible.
If her visitor doing it at 11.30 was a problem for you, then you doing it at what was mid-sleep for her would also be a problem.
She may be unreasonable in other ways but maybe you need to meet her more than half ways or at least avoid making things worse.
I have moved because of bad neighbours. I exchanged contracts and then a few days later they moved, so I didn't have to which was very upsetting.
It is a very difficult situation. I am very lucky at the moment although things can only change and my nightmare neighbour could return (her flat is boarded up at present).