Moving closer to grandkids

Moving home is very stressful. You may not get good neighbors again. You have good friends where you are and you are only 45 mins away from AC and dgc. Could you ask AC to bring dgc to you every other time to cut back on your driving and also drive to new dgs and look after him in hi sown home so not having to drive him. They are in preschool at 4 now and as they get a bit older they can come to you for a weekend or in half term so their parents can work. What does your dh think?

I don't think there is one size fits all. We have two daughters, one is married and lives 5 minutes from us and now has a 2.7 year old DGD1 and a newborn DGD2. When DGD1 was born I offered to help with childcare and was working part time. My DD and son in law asked me to do one part day a week (6-7 hours) as my DD only works part time and said they were asking other gran to do one part day a week and putting their DD into nursery for 3 part days. They will be doing the same with the baby when my DD returns to work after maternity leave. They felt any more than this would be imposing too much into my and other grans spare time and wanted their DD to have some nursery exposure and although I am now retired we have left it as one day a week which I find ideal. It is still a treat to see the DGC and we don't feel put upon at all. We still see them at weekends and babysit for the odd evening.

A friend of mine who has 2 daughters living locally has ended up looking after both of their babies on 3 full days a week. She says it is too much really and ideally she would prefer 2 maximum but her daughters, quite selfishly I think, have asked her to stick with the 3 for financial reasons.

So whether you move or not depends I think on how you feel you can marry your wishes for balanced leisure time against childcare with your AC expectations. If you think they will be quite cheeky like my friends daughters and perhaps put emotional pressure on you to do more childcare than you are comfortable with then maybe let them know your wishes beforehand or stay where you are with friends etc. Can you not drive and look after your newborn grandchild at your sons house rather than bringing him back to yours? 45 minutes each way is a lot.

Personally we like being close to our AC. We can do each other favours and see a lot of each other without being in each others pockets. We respect their privacy and rights to enjoy their own social life so don't put too much expectation on them visiting often but they do anyway and vice versa.

my gut reaction is NO don't move stay where your life and friends are AD and GC move on and grow up and their need of you changes