Undecided to keep Christmas gift from husband

If you don't like them now you will never like them. To change them you may have an issue with the earrings if they are pierced. I know some high end jewellers do have a method of sterilising silver and gold. My DH bought me a very expensive necklace for our golden anniversary and I wasn't keen on it. My DH accepted I should get something I did like and came with me to choose. Jeweller gave a credit note for balance as I hadn't used the whole value up. Bought earrings later and DH managed to get a diving watch too. Yes sentiment is important but if you don't like it, it won't have any sentiment to you. I love my new necklace and earrings.

My husband often gives me gifts I don't really like (there was a series of beige jumpers, a colour I never wear as it makes me look washed out). Then, on our 50th anniversary, he bought me a gold (I like silver!) necklace that I didn't like; normally, I would have kept it and worn a few times but this one had a really fine chain with a tiny fastening that he could see I really struggled to try to do up and was fine with it when I suggested I could change it for one that would be easier to fasten with my not so young hands.

How lovely to have a husband who went to such trouble

My thought too, my OH gives one of our daughters money to go to Hotel Chocolat when they are in town, I don't even get flavours I like!

I think most shops won't let anyone return earrings so I think you are stuck with those.

That’s the trouble with pretending to like something you don’t isn’t it Dottydots! They are encouraged to keep buying similar stuff. If it was an expensive gift I’d probably own up I didn’t really like it. How is he with gifts you give him? Does he say when he doesn’t like something OP? You might not be able to change the earrings anyway as some places don’t let you change earrings (pierced ear ones anyway).

I would personally try to love them. If it's an unexpected "treat" and you know he put lots of effort in.

I have a necklace from 1976 that I would never have chosen but the truth is I have really grown to love it.

Good luck. How lucky you are to have him love you.

I would keep and wear as there is no way I’d hurt my husbands feelings it’s the thought that counts

How would you feel if you had a very expensive engagement ring designed and made for your fianceé but some months later she had it redesigned?

The only time my DH spent a lot of money on a present he had a ring made using a loose diamond I had. We couldn't afford it at the time, I hated it, couldn't take it back and have hardly ever worn it. Many more mistakes later, he now refuses to buy me presents (thank goodness) but says just get yourself something paid from the joint account. I never do.

I would probably just keep them as I hate hurting anyone, however I very much doubt any retailer would allow you to return earrings anyway. I might be wrong but every time I have brought earrings the sale assistant always says there is no return or exchange on earrings.

I would keep them and wear them sometimeds. It's the thought that counts and it was a lovely thought.

Personally, I think a gift, specially one from a loved one (as opposed to the Secret Santa or whatever) means more because of the thought and care that they have gone to than the value of the gift. I would hate to be asked to get my own present from my husband, and unless there was something I really wanted but couldn't justify buying for myself, I wouldn't ask for anything in particular either.

In your situation, I would wear the jewellery, as it would be hurtful to ask him to return it, and (IMO) make the gift more of a transaction than a carefully chosen present. If you really hate it, then maybe this is where white lies come into their own? See if you can return it yourself, and say that something happened to it (what that is would depend on the style) and when you took it back to exchange it, they had none left, so you got this one (that you like) instead? To me, that is less hurtful than telling him outright that you don't like the present he chose for you.

I’ll add my vote to the majority. Wear them, not just when you’re with him - he’s put thought and love into choosing them and would be hurt if you returned them.

I’ll echo NotSpaghetti’s post. DH bought me a necklace in the 1970s when we were first married and I really wasn’t keen - it was unusual and not to my taste at all. It’s now, genuinely, my favourite piece of jewellery and I wear it most weeks.

you probably cant change them because of the earings antway so just wear them now and again

You are so lucky to have a husband ….especially one who cares enough to buy you a gift !!! In the 18 years of marriage to my second husband (a widower) the only gift I got was a set of pearls for our wedding day ….but it was a lovely thought and a gesture from someone who never did such a thing again ...so treasure them ….wear them when you go out to dinner together and explain you don't wear them too often as you don't want to damage them ….or say you want to keep them nice for whoever inherits them (ideal if you have a daughter.grand daughter etc) otherwise say nothing but be glad he cares !

At least they are daintier than my Apple watch, chosen by the one who thinks all surprise gifts have to be of the electronic variety. What's more, the ordinary watch I had to discard didn't need charging every day!

MooMOO you are so lucky to have a hubby who has the presence of mind to go out and buy his wife a gift - think on that - be grateful - in years to come, especially if he may not be around, you will have something to look back on that you can genuinely say he bought for you.

My sons wife changes all his gifts even the engagement ring he bought. He doesn’t now surprise her any more but asks what she wants first, this makes him a little sad as he feels his choices are usually wrong

Bless him! He's gone to a lot of trouble to buy you this present. Personally, I love garnets - they are also my birthstone and it's amazing how many different types and colours there are!
Firstly, I very much doubt if you will be able to return jewellery. Certainly you can't with earrings.
I'd wear them for special occasions at least and future years, write a list of things that you would like for him to choose one or two items from and either openly give it to him, or accidentally on purpose leave the list for him to find!

MooMoo accept them as he chose them himself for you. I've been widowed 16 years next month. He was 47 and me 45 at the time. None of us know how long we have got our partners for. I have jewellery that my husband brought me some I like others I didn't really but would never tell him as he chose them specially. I still wear my wedding ring and the last necklace he brought me everyday. In reflective mood today about his anniversary next month also it would have been his birthday 4 days before the anniversary and I started dating him the day after . 45 years ago.

Only you know your husband, OP. How hurt would he be if you told him you love and appreciate the fact that he went to a lot of trouble to choose jewellery for you- you’re just not keen on the jewellery?

Personally, I wouldn’t be at all hurt by it, and I’d sooner my loved one told me the truth and ended up with something they really could treasure and enjoy wearing. Surely it’s patronising and more hurtful to let someone think you love something you dislike, then have them make the same mistake over and over...?

I also think most people are nowhere near as fragile about these things as we think they are. As I said, only you know your husband, but in your shoes I’d be inclined to tell him now - in the nicest possible way - before the rot sets in.

Keep them - I do hope you are April born!

Depending who dies first, the day may come when he’s not there to buy you something with love and you’ll cherish that gift you now don’t like. FGS just be a grown up and count your blessings. How damn hard is it to sometimes wear jewellery you’re not keen on? It’s not like he bought you annual membership of a swingers club.

If people comment on them when you wear them you can always say they were a gift from your husband or even: "My husband chose them", smiling sweetly all the time ?

Keep them and think of the love that went into choosing them