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Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 4

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Sun 15-Mar-20 12:56:00

Links to the first three threads

www.gransnet.com/forums/house_and_home/1271200-Help-calm-me-house-buying-and-selling-stress-Part-3

thread number 4

craftyone Wed 01-Apr-20 19:28:15

wonderful, he looks so content. This is good exercise for you shandy

Shandy57 Thu 02-Apr-20 08:07:41

Morning all.

I twisted at an awkward angle to put the hoover away last night and have pulled a muscle in my hip/bottom and feel very sorry for myself! I can walk, but can't bend or sit easily.
Hope it wears off quickly.

I'm pleased my puss cat returned after several hours again, yesterday it looks like she may settle here and I can relax.

My neighbour knocked with a bunch of daffodils from her land - so nice of her.

I've just put my bin out with a note saying thank you, and a packet of chocolate biscuits.

I was too tired to start the house clearance yesterday, I'm going to go up and start in my old bedroom today. Cheating a bit, it is pretty empty already smile It has been really useful moving into the cottage to get an idea of what will fit in a new home. I hope to store everything here at the cottage and garage, rather than pay for storage. Just thinking about it makes me feel weary.

Have a good day whatever you are doing smile

Whiff Thu 02-Apr-20 10:14:34

Shandy57 be careful muscle damage can take a while to heal. Slow and steady and no climbing .

Afraid I'm having a pity fest this morning. Since my husband died I've been lonely for him never lonely because I'm on my own. Since moving I have got so used to having a routine. Seeing the family everything week and being able to touch them and play with my grandson's. Looked forward to going out on the buses meeting the same people going to my classes. That's all stopped now. When my daughter and grandson brought my shopping. We had to stand well apart. My son can go back to work on Sunday after their isolation. So he will pop round to see me. But it won't be the same. We have always been a kissing hugging family. I really miss it. Like I said having a pity fest should be ashamed of myself there are people worse off than me. I will snap out of it . When I lived in the Midlands used to go months between seeing the family which I was fine with. But I've be been spoilt since moving seeing them regularly

Being able to have video play dates is lovely. Having one this afternoon with my daughter and grandson. It's not the same. Now I'm sounding like a petulant child.

Hate hate being like this it's not me.

Ellianne Thu 02-Apr-20 10:39:20

Oh dear, this life is so different from the one we movers envisaged. Moving from London I was really looking forward to springtime in Devon with its beautiful scenery, fresh sea air and walks galore. Our new home doesn't have views as such, maybe that should have been on the wish list? All the visitors we were due to have over Easter won't now be coming and our London grandchildren won't get their little holiday here. You're right, Whiff, it's the cuddles and hugs that we miss, but thank goodness for technology!
Go carefully Shandy, my back was bad for a few months after moving boxes and furniture. It's all the bending and lifting.
A little bit of sunshine here today.

Grammaretto Thu 02-Apr-20 11:10:11

Aw Whiff I feel for you. It is very hard to be entirely alone.
I have DH but he gets down so I have to buck him up. He is such a do-er, a restless personality and gregarious. Luckily he keeps up with his friends on the phone.
I am slowly getting through the jobs but without a structure it's easy to drift.
I may shout for the NHS tonight. Now to try to post a parcel without going out......
Sorry you have hurt yourself Shandy Take it easy.

Ellianne Thu 02-Apr-20 14:15:33

For those of us who spent ages making our houses presentable:
Today I saw a possible house for DD come on the market but had to laugh.
The seller has obviously done their own photos:

Unmade bed
Tea towels strewn around the kitchen
Junk on worktops including mobile phone
Pots on hob
Jacket slung over chairs in dining room
Toilet seat up

Two estate agents have been instructed, surely one could have pointed out the errors.

Shandy57 Thu 02-Apr-20 14:27:55

Hi folks, big hugs to all. It is so very hard, humans are such sociable creatures. I was interested to see the psychologist explaining why we touch our faces so much. The isolation reminds me of those dreadful experiments with baby monkeys being separated from their mothers sad It will be worth it in the end if we all survive. I've just been in touch with my friend in California, she also has victims nearby in her area of Woodland Hills.

I'm furious with my 82 year old aunt this morning. She said 'you'll be cross with me, but I am going to go shopping'. I said I was cross, and it was very silly as she has asthma as well as pneumonia over Christmas, also selfish, as no-one knows who is a carrier. She eventually agreed to give her shopping list to a friend. I asked if it was because she felt she was missing on money saving offers, and she said it was - I said to ask her friend to look at her favourites.

I've been on the long beach walk and my dog struggled to get back to the pram hidden in the cemetery this time. I'm going to the station later to get a 'bike lock', I think I'll have to chain it much nearer to the beach.

Off to raid the choc biscuits and have a coffee, enjoy your afternoon smile

Shandy57 Thu 02-Apr-20 15:02:15

ha ha, I'd missed your post Ellianne. Sometimes I didn't even cook the night before because of the smell, let alone have tea towels strewn around. When I was telling my daughter that I'd had enough with the constant house prep for viewings, she said don't you just dust?

Grammaretto Thu 02-Apr-20 15:12:43

I can't believe that house Ellianne. Unless they had left it for some reason and just told the EA to get it sold?
Then you see these Escape to the Country, houses which are polished and perfect.
I would have to photoshop a bit..... a lot

My D-i-L's mum had her house on the market for months with awful dreary dark photos. Dead plants in pots!
You wouldn't have given it a second look but she changed agents and had some decent ones done. What a difference. It sold quite quickly then but that was several years ago.

Niobe Thu 02-Apr-20 15:40:31

When we were house hunting we viewed many houses ranging from the total tips to the immaculately presented. The house we ended up buying had curtains sagging, a dirty kitchen, stained carpets and overgrown garden because it had been let out and the tenants had left it that way. Did not put us off because it was in a quiet street near to a good bus service, had shops and GP surgery nearby (4 mins walk away ) and a large park at the end of the road. It was a far better buy than the immaculately done up house miles from a bus or park and which had a totally decked garden and macerator toilet.

Franbern Thu 02-Apr-20 15:53:14

Like your Aunt, Shandy, I also like to do my own Supermarket shop. Normally, I purchase items I normally use whenever they are on special offer and buy enough to see me through to the next time they go on offer. Few, if any, special offers at present and if I see an item I need, I am just too pleased to pop into my shopping bag. No doubt, that I have increased the cost of my shopping in recent weeks,
So, I am still driving to Sainsbury every 10-12 days. Do not think it puts me at (or anyone else) at much greater risk with all the precautions being put in place in the supermarkets. I know it does my mental health an enormous amount of good just to get to see something different.
Whatever, over the next few months many people will contract this virus (70-75% of the population being estimated) Surely, the current policy is to try to spread this out as thinly as possible over a long period to enable there to be the medical help for those that will need it. And, despite the dreadful figures, there is still an incredibly high total recovery rate.
For those who have lost family members this is no consolation (I have done so, and also a friend), but think that fear itself is probably as dangerous to us mentally, as anything.
Like Ellianne, I had such wonderful plans for this Spring and Summer commencing at Easter,,,.....,all cancelled for the foreseeable future.
But, thank goodness for things like Gransnet and, particularly this thread to keep us all going and exchanging ideas, thoughts and good wishes.

Franbern Thu 02-Apr-20 15:55:36

OH.....I meant to remind you all that at 8.00 pm tonight to go to a window, garden, balcony and clap, shake a rattle, bang on a saucepan - anything for NHS (and all our great support people still working to enable us all)

Grammaretto Thu 02-Apr-20 16:40:41

I will be at the window tonight Franbern if I'm still awake. I get tired and don't sleep very well.

I had to ask someone to post my parcel today for the birthday girl. with the handmade cardigan and some packets of seeds. As you say, when we are used to doing our own shopping, like Shandy's aunt, it's hard to delegate..

The older ones will just get cards until I can see them.
I really don't want to send off to Amazon or the like for some plastic rubbish. I'm sure they have plenty already.

Gaga1950 Thu 02-Apr-20 17:09:31

Lovely to catch up on all the posts and follow how people are doing. All well here, no viewings obviously, but the EA seems to think that the virtual tour will bring the buyers crowding in once the closed season is over - I have my doubts, but he’s young and enthusiastic and obviously desperately wants to sell it for us. I said I didn’t like the background music that had been chosen and when asked what I would rather, I answered something Georgian to reflect the period of the property - I don’t think he got that I was being flippant! Anyway something equally electronic has come back - I wish I’d said Beethoven’s pastoral! Keep well and cheerful everyone.

Whiff Thu 02-Apr-20 17:29:28

Glad to say got my positive mojo back. Gave myself a good talking to . Also had video play date with my daughter and grandson. Also my son sent videos of my other 2 grandsons playing in the garden. Decided to go out for a walk in the morning for a hour. I'll go after breakfast.

My friend from U3A is completing on her house purchase on Monday and moving in on Wednesday.

I'll be joining in Franbern banging and yelling.

Stay safe everyone the worse is yet to come.

Ellianne Thu 02-Apr-20 17:40:33

Yes, 8 pm tonight. It's a date!

Wow! Music to accompany the virtual tour of your house. That could be interesting. It would have to be something slow I think so that people linger in each room, although having said that minds are usually made up in a matter of seconds.

In Escape to the Country today, the young couple had £1 million to spend in Somerset. Crazy!

Franbern Thu 02-Apr-20 18:16:29

Elliane, thought the three houses chosen in ETCC were not really good ones. He seemed far more interested in finding them places with views and lots of acres, rather than actually listening to what they wanted and could well afford, with that sort of money.
Do wonder, if EA's actually pay to get properties on to this. I know that a lot more are considered than are shown, (there was a programme about a couple of actually purchased one that they had not been taken to in the programme, but had been considered by the production team.
Also noted that this couple were looking at larger properties with a view as to WHEN they had children. I sent a small prayer for them that when they get round to that, they do not have any problems. Best laid plans, etc. etc.
On another note, good to see that they are looking at anti-body tests being available within a short time. So many people think they may have had and recovered from CV19, it would be excellent if people could know this.
It is the hardworking people like lorry drivers, NHS staff, Utility workers, supermaket workers, pharmacists, rubbish clearers, etc. etc. who is showing their important in keeping some sort of semblance of keeping the country running. It will be the scientists in their labs who will be the ones who will give us tests and, eventually (sometime in the future) both a cure and a vaccine.

Framilode Thu 02-Apr-20 18:49:12

As you know I worked in EA for 30 years and have valued and viewed thousands of houses. A very few were in what I would call 'ready to view' condition. The majority were ok'ish but you would have to look past quite a lot when viewing. Some, in all price ranges, were filthy hovels.

People could get quite angry if you suggested a clean up and tidy and when giving viewer feed back, if you wanted to keep the instruction, you had to be quite discreet.

I remember one smallish house where they had 4 huge dogs. The smell in the house was overwhelming, a mixture of dogs and Shake and Vac. All viewers complained about it and eventually I told the vendors and they sacked us as agents.

I came to the conclusion that many people just dont 'see' their houses as a viewer would. Possibly things may be better now after all the tv programmes on renovation, house selling etc.

Grammaretto Thu 02-Apr-20 19:08:34

That's such an interesting observation Framilode . I am sure it's right too that we don't see our own houses or smell our own smells. We once viewed a house full of cats and if you think smelly dogs - cats are 100 x worse.

Of course you could have cleaned it up but it somehow set a depressing scene. Another had broken glass, from a smashed window, in the living room. Yet another was decorated in mauve and gold throughout in flock wall paper..

Ellianne Thu 02-Apr-20 19:13:31

Interesting Framilode, especially your final paragraph. I just can't believe that when vendors are asking nearly £1/2 million they can't be bothered to tidy up a bit for photos. The ones today had obviously taken their own pictures, because of Covid restrictions, and perhaps you're right that they can't see their property through others' eyes.

Shandy57 Thu 02-Apr-20 20:41:22

Evening all, are you watching Question Time too?

Just popped in to say I have made a start on the house tonight, and had a good cry.

My Mum and Dad divorced in 1977, and my Dad had to sell our house very cheap too because it needed so much renovation, I was reminded of it tonight. In addition he sold to our next door neighbours, who had been unpleasant to my Mum over their motor bikes. Luckily my Mum still managed to get a 3 bed semi-detached with her half of the money. What has struck me today is that I never knew what she sold it for when she moved, I wasn't involved as we were already up here and the children took all my time and energy.

I just did my bedroom this evening, which was almost empty already, just has a bed, bedside table, and 5 long boxes under the bed. I need to sort out all of my bedlinen, I've still got too much. I was very relieved when I moved the oil painting to find the 'big circular wet patch' that had appeared on the wall last autumn has gone smile No idea why it suddenly appeared, not the guttering as too low, but as sandstone is like a sponge the heavy rain always affects it. So glad I've made a start, I'm going back tomorrow to drag the mattress downstairs and take the bed down ready to sell/freecycle.

I seem to be eating later and later, my last pasta tonight smile

craftyone Fri 03-Apr-20 05:34:27

shandy, you might well be the one that copes best with lockdown. I am one who is now finding that one day merges with another and every day is pretty well the same as the one before. It was better when there were positive jobs to do ie one room to sort over a few days, tick, job done.

Any job now is superficial, a bit of cleaning, a bit of weeding, a bit of knitting. A family online quiz to look forward to on saturday. I think I am also in bodyclock mode, I go to bed when I am tired (early) and am up when I awake (early) this has definitely reinforced the lark in me.

Bedlinen was one of my moving problems. I had enough linen for 5 beds plus a spare set for each bed, plus extra spare sets accumulated over time. I now have 2 sets for my bed for winter and 2 sets for summer and 2 basic cotton sets for the spare beds. They are all single bed sets, not too bulky. I think I released at least 8 full sets

Tablecloths were another problem.

SueH49 Fri 03-Apr-20 06:09:30

Craftyone, tablecloths were an issue for me too. I had several that my Grandmother had crocheted. I already had two of these but there were 4 or 5 that came from my Mother when she went into care. After much thought I did send them off to the Op Shop. I have, I suspect like most of us, had to put the feelings of guilt/sentiment second to commonsense.

Having looked through all the boxes, I'm down to just 7 that need consolidating or unpacking. I still cannot find my plastic storage containers or my 2 litre bottle of dawn dish washing liquid. Also it seems that a box of old magazine photos and scrapbooks relating to my dog breed I had and was trying to decide if it should go or stay is missing. Maybe the decision was taken out of my hands.

Whiff Fri 03-Apr-20 06:19:08

Shandy57 it does you good to have a cry every now and then . Gives you the strength to tackle the next hurdle. When I was packing I liked to set myself a target everyday. And oh the sense of satisfaction when I did I must admit made me feel smug. How are your aches and pains today?
Pace yourself and don't forget to have plenty of drinks and rests. You are doing brilliantly.

Craftyone I have found my days are merging. I like having a routine. I like this new energised me since moving and yesterday found myself going back to the old Midlands me hence the pity fest. After my video play date and videos yesterday got me back on an even keel. Going for a walk after breakfast. Kids said I need to go further than the garden. Just realised it's been 9 days since I went out. Been busy in the bunga with hobbies. Housework can be done in a hour.

On the subject of photos for selling. Had a professional cleaning firm in to do my house before photos best £194.94 including vat I spent. 4 ladies armed to the teeth with bio cleaning products and equipment. Left their shoes in the porch. 4.5 hours later sparkling house even used toothbrushes on grouting and mould on window frames. After that I cleaned like a fiend everyday to keep it that way until I left. Still clean that way since moving.

Franbern you would have been proud of the noise here for NHS workers fireworks and even a trumpet.

Stay safe everyone think the restrictions may be getting tougher soon.

Whiff Fri 03-Apr-20 06:25:13

SueH49 we must have crossed. How are you both settling in and is your husband feeling more his old self or a new invigorated one.

They always seems things missing after moving must be sods law.
How are you coping with Coronavirus in Australia?
Take care

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