Downsizing. Have to but don’t want to

We are 75 and 80 and upsized 2 years ago. We don't plan to downsize but make our house usable as we get older.

We moved from a 4 bed house to a 2 bed bungalow. The move left us with enough money to get it to our liking and some left over. At the time we were only 64 and both fairly fit, 10 years on, my husband's mobility problems from a ruptured disc some 15 years ago and a broken ankle, are now quite bad. We are so thankful that we don't have stairs and everything is easy to manage. We made sure we had a doctor in walking distance, the shops are also in walking distance, there is a bus stop nearby and a bus, if we can't drive, that goes to the hospital. I admit we had only been in our house for 23 years but we were happy there and I can honestly say we are just as happy where we are now.

Can't really relate to this as I've never attached to a house. Perhaps because I moved so many times as a child.
However, we retired to the coast 2 years ago and are very happy here. Glad we bought a small 3 bed house though, as we have someone from our huge extended family visiting and staying at least once a month even in winter. Actually, the 100 mile journey is only 2 hours so not too far away. See more of family now that we ever did before.
I'd say downsize now while you are still reasonably fit. With utility bills set to rise dramatically you won't regret it. Home is the inside not the building

In your shoes (you sound like money won’t be an issue with such a large house) I would absolutely be looking at something like this. I have visited a friend in a similar place and it was amazing. www.richmond-villages.com/retirement-villages/witney/

A heartfelt thanks to all who responded to my dilemma of downsizing but not really wanting to, over the weekend we looked online at a house in exactly the area we wanted ,but oh the rooms are so small, and with only one reception room we wonder if we can manage this. Because if there is a programme on tv ie football , I can go in another room. ,but it’s not impossible , I know , I can put a tv maybe in one of the bedrooms , However, it has made us start looking seriously , I even started a declutter yesterday , while DH watched football most of the day !! Once again Thankyou all for your input, much appreciated.

My inlaws often say ‘we should have done it years ago’ after having to be eased out of their huge, draughty house. They love their new home with new neighbours and easy access to village amenities.

It’s an adventure and new chapter

lilypops absolutely well done, that first important step to letting go

re smaller and fewer rooms. You do get used to it, perhaps think about using a bedroom as your escape haven

I too sat down and cried when DH first mooted moving, but now six years later, I am so glad we did it.

The longer you leave it, the harder it will become and you may, as my father did, leave it too long and not be able to face it at all.

Try to find out where you would like to move to, and what kind of house you would like and can afford.

Points to remember:
Near shops and on a bus route - the day will come when you either cannot or should not drive.

Doors wide enough and a bathroom accessible if you should need to use a walker frame indoors or a wheel-chair later on.

Stairs wide enough for a stair lift if that should become necessary.

The really hard part is looking round your home and deciding which pieces of furniture you can bear to part with and which you can't.

Don't pay a removal firm for carting things like fridge, freezer and washing-machine. Buy new one that use as little electricity as possible once you are in your new home.

Keep things that have sentimental or monetary value, but get rid of all the knick-knacks you never really see any more.

We finished up throwing 10 years' worth of income tax returns that were at least 30 years old when my father died!
I have made sure no-one will be faced with that task here.

My parents downsized from a five bedroomed house to a three bedroomed bungalow, which they had altered to their specifications. It is the best thing they ever did, especially as my dad unexpectedly became very poorly and died only a couple of years after they moved in. It is much more manageable for my mother and security of mind for her. It is a lovely bungalow too.

move before you have to, and while you can.do we own a house or does it own us?
change is scary for everyone,I'm in a situation of where to move to,it's so easy to paralyse myself by over analysis.Your world becomes smaller as you age, i think houses to,but then we are all different.

If I were in hour situation I would get in touch with local estate agents to assess the house, talk about the state of the local market, and discuss the sort of property you may be interested in. These are the people who know what’s going on and may have purchasers on their books waiting for the right house. You are not committing to anything by doing this - just testing the water. Judging by the size of your house it’s going to be quite a job down-sizing and could take longer than you think.

You may have to be “sensible” and a little ruthless in de-junking, can anyone help you with this? We did this recently, one room at a time, and him indoors made nearly 1K on ebay sales, my junk was someone else's treasure. The local hospice furniture shop did very well as did a local charity helping those on low incomes.

Buying and selling property can be difficult today, and you will need all your strength and wits, do it before you’ve run out of steam, or one of you has real health issues.

There comes a time for all of us to let go - and let someone else build up wonderful memories in a happy family home.

Perhaps you could make a memory book of the house with photographs of the rooms and garden and of items you have loved but which need to go. You could write your personal history of your time there.

A friend and her husband did this a couple of years ago and decided on a bungalow where (if and when one falls off the perch) the other will be happy to stay in.

Good luck with it all. How special to have had a home you have loved.

The problem is that there is little on the market to suit older people. In fact, there is little on the market at all except new builds and much as I like children in small doses most in our road have grown up and moved away. New builds would probably be bought by young families.
Some may not necessarily want a bungalow but many do and it's very rare that any are built now.
A friend moved from a 4 bedroom house to a small bungalow and warned "don't downsize too much if you want your own space. You can't get away from each other". (She did love her DH but I know what she meant.)

We too livid in a rambling house where our kids had grown up. We decided to downsize while we were still active, rather than be forced to do it later. It was the best thing we ever did!
The new place still has spare rooms for the family to visit but is so much easier to keep clean and tidy, and half the cost to heat. Our new neighbours were so welcoming too.
I would say go for it!

As a new poster (Grandma to be!) I am posting from the frontline of this situation.

We are actually upsizing, but to a house with the ability to be future-proofed in that it has a downstairs loo and space for a shower if needed. We will knock together two smaller rooms to make one big room, which could be used as a downstairs bedroom if the need arises.

Our current house is around the same size or even slightly smaller but it is much older and requires a lot of maintenance and upkeep. We are early retired and covid and health permitting the plan is to travel and live life to the full.

So, we decided, albeit very reluctantly, that now was the time to move from our family home of 37 years.

The selling and buying process has been quite frankly horrendous. Not one I would wish on anyone, and such a different experience to our previous foray into the world of Estate Agents and Solicitors. That, coupled with the decluttering of family memorabilia and sorting through the decades of stuff shoved into the loft space, has made the whole process taxing and wearing.

We are relatively young and it has brought home to us the need to do this whilst you have the energy and headspace to cope with the physical demands of the task of moving, and the legalise.

We adore this house and there will be tears....but, we have faced the reality of it and hope we will have many more happy years together and with family in our new home.

OP do it now, or you will probably regret it.

Hello Venicelady and welcome to GN.

The selling and buying process has been quite frankly horrendous. Not one I would wish on anyone, and such a different experience to our previous foray into the world of Estate Agents and Solicitors. That, coupled with the decluttering of family memorabilia and sorting through the decades of stuff shoved into the loft space, has made the whole process taxing and wearing.

That is really offputting, I agree.
It's sometimes suggested that, if you like your house, it's easy to heat and maintain, then it's better to stay where you are and spend the money you would have spent on moving making alterations, putting in a lift or stair lift or altering to future-proof it.

Callistemon21

The problem is that there is little on the market to suit older people. In fact, there is little on the market at all except new builds and much as I like children in small doses most in our road have grown up and moved away. New builds would probably be bought by young families.
Some may not necessarily want a bungalow but many do and it's very rare that any are built now.
A friend moved from a 4 bedroom house to a small bungalow and warned "don't downsize too much if you want your own space. You can't get away from each other". (She did love her DH but I know what she meant.)

There are always bungalows coming up for sale round here as it’s a popular place to retire to but they are so small and all the same, no individuality or character. I know bungalows don’t maximise the value of development land as they have a larger footprint than the average house with the same number of bedrooms but you’d think that more could be built on smaller sites (I’m not one who likes to hear kids shouting all day) and with more imaginative designs. My arthritic knees would rather enjoy not having stairs but I have yet to see a single storey property in this area that I’d want to live in.

Sounds as if you'll have a sizeable stash as a result of your sale so buy wisely.get maybe a new/nearly new build with as large rooms as you can,. New builds are fab! No cleaning someone else's mess. Brand new everything and the very latest money saving tech.we did it some years ago and bought a house with lovely big bedrooms all king sized one of which now houses out huge train layout! You'll love it !

I've seen just two over about five years GSM and both came on the market at most inconvenient times.

There are bungalows but not where we want to be.

Lilypops

A heartfelt thanks to all who responded to my dilemma of downsizing but not really wanting to, over the weekend we looked online at a house in exactly the area we wanted ,but oh the rooms are so small, and with only one reception room we wonder if we can manage this. Because if there is a programme on tv ie football , I can go in another room. ,but it’s not impossible , I know , I can put a tv maybe in one of the bedrooms , However, it has made us start looking seriously , I even started a declutter yesterday , while DH watched football most of the day !! Once again Thankyou all for your input, much appreciated.

So pleased to hear that you feel that it might be possible for you to downsize.
I know what you mean about the room size and the single reception room. We found somewhere with a lovely big living room with a balcony and a view, an almost open plan kitchen and plenty of room for a dining table.
We chose a maisonette so we still have enough rooms for one of them to be a second living room for my husband who has musical instruments and music books. He'll have room for a second TV which can access anything that we have recorded in the main room.
As three of my children live relatively locally it's unlikely that we need many spare rooms, so we've knocking one of the smaller bedrooms into our master bedrooms to give us a bit more room so I can have a desk and my computer discretely stowed away in there.
We'll only have one spare room left, but it will have a shower room and a enough bed space for two overnighting grandchildren.
I know that some people feel that they need to have enough rooms to provide space for all their family to come and stay at once, but that is what we did in our last house and during the 15 years that we lived there we very rarely had a full house.

We too have been going through this thought process for some time, as we have a fairly big house, in a large garden, with a holiday let to manage as well, and both of us have health problems. Having hum'd and haa'd for ages, we made up our minds yesterday to go for it and put ours on the market. Today, having read the contract from the agent, we have changed our minds!! If you do go for it OP, do please read the small print with a fine toothed comb, as we discovered that, if we can't find a place we would like to move to, but the agent finds a 'ready, willing and able' buyer, we would be committed to pay the agents fees, even if we pulled out!! There were numerous other T&C's that we weren't happy with, so we've now decided to stay put, and with the ongoing income from the holiday let, will pay people to look after the garden, decorating, cleaning, etc. for as long as we need to.

Also, with the market being so busy at present, please be aware that agents will not allow you to view a property unless you are in a position to proceed, ie, if you have already agreed a sale on your property, or at minimum, got your house on the market, so for those who suggested viewing a few places to get a feel as to whether it would work for you, at this period in time, I'm afraid that is unlikely to work. As someone else suggested, why not have the property split into two flats, you could then remain where you are, and have an income. Finally, (sorry it's such a long one), do you have any children, who might have a suggestion that might work for you?

Lilypops I have known many downsizers who have felt like you do, but none who have regretted the move.

The first thing to do is analyse how you use your current house. How many rooms do you actually use and how do you use them. Draw up a specification for what you want and will need in your new property.

Look in estate agents windows and look on Rightmove www.rightmove.co.uk. Look in areas you like and see what properties you would like and how much they cost. Rightmove gives floor plans and lots of pictures of every house and, with google maps,www.google.co.uk/maps you can look at the area from on high and then walk along the road with Street View to see what it looks like.

When you go on the market, ask the estate agent to conduct all the viewings and let you know so that you can go out for a walk or for a cup of coffee, just to get out of the house while it takes place. And start clearing the house now, just gently, room by room and make a list of furniture you will no longer need when you move and find out where your local auction rooms are and furniture charity in preparation.

As others have said, furniture removers will pack the house up. On the day you can walk out of the house so you do not see it dismembered and let them get on with it.

DH and I can still manage the house we have lived in for only 25 years, but we know we will need to move sooner or later so we just keep that in mind. We now have the perfect house, the one we always wanted it and it will take a lot to move us on, but we always baear it in mind so that when it comes we are mentally prepared for it.

Move sooner rather than later. I sold my house and moved into a rented which I love and can give my children/grandchildren money if they need it (better than giving it to care/nursing homes)

We came across one agent with T&Cs like that OldHag and needless to say they didn’t get our business. Do look at others, they are by no means all the same. Why people sign without reading everything is beyond me.

I agree that OP is unlikely to be allowed to view properties until hers is at least on the market. If I were selling I wouldn’t want viewers with dependent sales who hadn’t already got a sale agreed. There used to be a lot of ‘time wasters’, less so now.

I would certainly recommend looking at the floor plan of a property online before viewing and considering the layout and measurements care. The photos only tell part of the story. Also look at it on Google Earth to see the immediate surroundings - a lot can be photoshopped out of agents’ photos. I once saw what looked like a lovely cottage - the surrounding new estate had somehow vanished.

I understand how you feel,do not stress yourself we have neighbours still both at home and in their nineties——- but what would be a good idea is plan carefully.Just go through each room and see what you don’t need and get rid of it as much as possible in your own time.Could you afford to get help in ? Cleaner,gardener etc or arrange for someone to live in if you ever need it,just a thought,maybe family could help you———— don’t get yourself upset just enjoy every room,others had good ideas so think carefully what you feel like doing,there are companies to help you if you finally have to move,above all enjoy now,none of us know what is next,very best of luck ?